June 7–14, 2001

movie shorts

Swordfish

There’s a certain ballsy bravado in Dominic Sena’s new film, at least on the surface. Like Sena’s Gone in 60 Seconds, it’s full of car chases, explosions and shoot-outs with huge automatic weapons. Admittedly, the first scene is riveting, an apparent bank robbery gone wrong (à la Dog Day Afternoon). People, buildings and vehicles blow up while the camera whooshes through the bodies, flames and cascading shrapnel with undeniable verve. But then the movie begins in earnest, via a corny "four days earlier" device, and it’s soon clear that the first scene is the only riveting one, the rest being just one retarded idea on top of another. Hugh Jackman is the greatest hacker in the world, desperate to "get his daughter back" (a phrase that various characters must say 25 times) from her horrific alcoholic porn star mother, whose current husband makes movies in their super-swank living room. To make the $10 million he ostensibly needs to win this bizarre custody case, Jackman agrees to work for John Travolta, a super-patriot, whose mission in life is to decimate terrorists (mostly Arab, judging by their names). Jackman is recruited by JT’s girlfriend, Halle Berry (who was reportedly paid a lot of money to display her breasts), but he’s really in love with JT’s cool multi-screen, seven-network computer set-up, as demonstrated in an elaborately choreographed might-as-well-be-sex montage with the machine. Poor Don Cheadle plays the always-a-step-behind cop on the case, and I feel badly for him.

—Cindy Fuchs