April 29, 1998
movie shorts
I heartily applaud the idea of shooting William Hurt, Mimi Rogers, Matt LeBlanc and Lacey Chabert into space, but did we have to go with them? There hasn't been a cast with this high an annoyance factor since Chasing Amy. (The less offensive members of the ensemble, Heather Graham and Gary Oldman, merely snooze their way along.) Sharing only a title with the campy TV series, this blowsy, bloated slice of idiot cake was perpetrated by director Stephen Hopkins (Blown Away, Predator 2) and "writer" Akiva Goldsman, who, after scripting this and Batman and Robin, should qualify for some kind of aesthetic Ten Most Wanted list. "Cuisinart" is too kind a metaphor for Goldsman's blithering, incontinent script; there are more coherent ideas in my carpet. Worse still are oohing, saccharine bromides about family life"Honey, I know we're going into space tomorrow, but you missed little Will's science fair!" Danger, Will Robinson, indeed.

