December 20–27, 2001

movie shorts

Joe Somebody

Tim Allen continues to stretch his 15 minutes, in yet another collaboration with his Jungle2Jungle and The Santa Clause director, John Pasquin. This time, Allen is a recently divorced father of a precocious 12-year-old (Hayden Panettierre, the little girl who advised Denzel in Remember the Titans), looking to win her respect, not to mention the attention of his coworkers. As if it’s not bad enough that his ex (Kelly Lynch) has dumped him for a younger "actor-boy," office bully Patrick Warburton "bitch-slaps" him in the office parking lot. Suddenly, Allen has a clear course: He takes martial arts lessons with a has-been B action star (Jim Belushi), makes nice with the company "wellness counselor" (the completely winning Julie Bowen), and eventually shows up his weaselly boss (Greg Germann, repeating, again, his Ally McBeal role). The good and bizarrely topical news is that Allen learns violence is ineffective; the weird news is that Jim Carrey turned down this part to do The Majestic, which turns out to be the lumpier, noisier, more self-congratulatory movie. At least this one knows what it is.

—Cindy Fuchs

(AMC Orleans; UA Grant; UA Riverview; UA 69th St.)