Last weekend Roller Derby was back in Philly and once again we wentCP’s own Andrew Amundson to capture the matches live. For a refresher on the rules, the where, and the how of RD clickHERE.
The usual suspects clamor outside the Armory smoking in their too-packed clusters and inside the place feels more crowded than other nights, odd because all the bouts including this one have been sold out at the same capacity. Families with beach towels burrow in by the pink tape, dudes from the bleachers with obstructed views yell at little recycled punk-kids in front to ‘Sit down, sit the fuck down!’ and wives deadeye their husbands for gawking at the Britches’ pretty young thing mascot, all leg and red ruffled hotpant. The crowd seems a bit more drunk than they typically are at the beginning of matches – it was the Warrior Cup though, so maybe they had gotten here early, had been around for a while nursing their Cricket Hill Brewery hops. Strolling around everywhere with cups of beer are Broad Street Butcher girls such as Leggs Benedict, and they’re covered in sweat, covered in bruises.  And where are the Queens of Pain?
BUTCHERS KILL QUEENS
photo credit: Akira Takahashi
132-82
“Take that, New York.” – Black Eye Susan of the Broad Street Butchers
I missed the Broad Street Butchers/ Queens of Pain bout, thinking Saturday’s proceedings were scheduled for later when clearly they were not. My apologies to the Butchers, who proved again to be the fightenist team in the Philadelphia Roller Girls League when they took out New York’s three-time champions the Queens of Pain.
It sounds like I missed an epic match. Afterwards I caught up with the Butcher Girls, match announcers, photographers and game statisticians to get the details.
The Butchers over the Queens of Pain wasn’t quite wasn’t David and Goliath, but it was an upset in its own right. The Queens feature a national derby star in SuzyHotrod, major talents Ana Bollocks and DonnaMatrix and the prestige of being a part of the country’s no. 1 WFTDA- ranked team.  The Broad Street Butchers, conversely, were just 3rd in the PRG, the product of several all-too-close heartbreakers.
The bout kept even for the first half with the Butchers holding their own - Persephone gave a crackerjack performance and ElleViento stepped up – and ended with Butchers up 53-47 at the half. In the second half the Queens’ time in the sin bin, so often the determining factor in derby, left things open for ceaseless Butcher jams and a hometown victory. Congratulations girls.
Over the last three games Shane Victorino has six hits, three runs, and five RBI, a remarkable percentage increase over the 15 hits, 11 runs and 9 RBI he put up over the course of the first 15 games. Despite the impossibly small sample size, neither of those numbers are a fluke.
Coming off the World Baseball Classic, an event barely participated in, Victorino didn’t get his normal reps in during spring training. Much has been made about how the WBC ruins pitchers by having them overthrow their arms before they’ve built up their old arm speed, but there a similar, albeit lesser, effect on hitters as well. When Victorino was seeing pitches his focus wasn’t re-building his swing, ironing out chinks in the armor, or re-learning how to go the opposite way, it was attempting to win a ballgame.
Now, he’s gotten his swings in and has started to really look like a hitter again. With a few ABs under his belt, he’s found his sea legs and has started raking. Look out.
As far as I can tell this is going to be the first time someone has written something along the lines of ‘Shane’s about to turn it on,’ and that’s not exactly a mistake. First of all no one really assumes Shane turning it on means a terrible amount. Second, no one has really noticed he was struggling. Both of those are tied into the fact that he’s somehow found himself in the perfect role.
Shane has not being called on to lead the team – if they’re not scoring runs its on Rollins, Utley and Howard. Until a week ago both he and the shortstop were comparably bad (Rollins too played on the WBC), but where Rollins is expected to challenge for postseason awards Victorino just needs to get on base once a game and play good defense. There have been several stories about how the SS isn’t hitting and those questions have to be heard. Today Jimmy Rollins predicted that he’d hit .400 his month. He may – he’s made good on similar predictions before – but at this point he kinda has to too. Shane doesn’t, he’s imagined as a decent role player, and as such, even on the World Champions he has slotted himself into a relatively pressure free role.
The problem with that is that Victorino isn’t a decent role player – he’s better. Much better. In fact, last year he outperformed the MVP in runs, hits, HR, Batting Average and the OBP/SLUG/OPS trinity.
It’s something hardcore fantasy players noticed this first two years ago when his breakout first half stats matched those of then second round pick Carl Crawford’s almost exactly. Â Then, last year, he did it again. Savvy owners, fresh off their Victorino-fueled wins chuckled to themselves and uber-athlete Crawford got his praises sung when the two faced off in last years’ World Series. Surrounded by MVPs Shane’s role is simply ’sparkplug’. Surrounded by anyone else, probably, it’d be ’star’. If we thought about the kid that way, it’d probably be ’star’ here too.
Now, a couple notes on the team …
The fact that the Phils aren’t 8-10, or much worse, says a lot about the teams’ ability to win. Generally I don’t put a terrible amount of stock in flukly looking stats, but I don’t think its entirely a mistake that the Phils are in the thick of it despite getting outhit by their opponents by 20+ points (.262 to .284 … seriously)
Probably worth noting that the Phillies have finally started playing a series of games in a row. They’ve trotted out there seven straight days and come with wins in five of them.
If Lidge does miss a week or so – and it won’t be worse than that – the Phillies are in good hands with Ryan Madson. Madson is a stud. He has the stuff and demeanor to be a big time closer one day. Like when Brad Lidge replaced Billy Wagner (in Houston) there will come a time, maybe a year and a half from now, when the Phillies will be able to sell high on Lidge and be confident they have a capable replacement in house. Don’t worry about his early troubles one bit.
Last year, Brandon Jennings, then the start point guard of perennial high school basketball powerhouse Oak Hill Academy, decided to bypass his mandated one year of college ball to play professionally overseas. He withdrew from Arizona and signed with Lottomatica Roma, where he’s losing minutes to IbbyJaaber.
At the time I applauded him, and in retrospect he appears to have made a profitable decision. Jenningscut his teeth against high competition, inked an endorsement deal (he’s replaced Terry Tateas the face of Under Armour), increased his marketability and name recognition across Europe, and will be a lottery pick this summer.
He’s also blazed a trail. This year, Jeremy Tyler, a high school junior, has elected to become the first in what will be a long line of elite level athletes who opt to forgo their senior year of high school go overseas and complete his GED online. Last year, I had the chance to sit down with Chester native and one-year Memphis star Tyreke Evans in the middle of Jennings’ decision. When I asked him about it, he seemed not only fascinated but intrigued. The idea of skipping school had never occurred to Evans, and he didn’t exactly hide the fact that if it had, it would have been his decision. Hell, the kid only spent a year in Memphis because he had to. “[The NBA age limit rule] changed some of my plans, no questions,” he admitted.
Lamont Peterson, then a local trainer and now one of Memphis’ assistant coaches, agreed:
It’s a shame that the NCAA and the NBA have conspired to keep black kids down. In hockey, tennis, golf, and baseball you always have a choice — to go to college or go pro. No other sport do they do that. …
That’s just a mess and now they want to blame the kids. Dick Vitale said, “If these kids don’t want to go to college” — they don’t want to go to college! You made them go to college.
Well, they did. Now they’ve found the loophole.
On one hand, Tylercould have risked his professional future for the chance to waste bullets playing in high school and then in Louisville, where he had given Rick Pitino a strong verbal. He wouldn’t have had a normal collegiate experience, he wouldn’t have been paid, and he would be running the risk of blowing out a knee and wasting it all.
On the other, he could sign for millions of dollars, increased his international profile (you know how Stern keeps on talking about how The League is going to expand into Europe? Well, guess whose jersey stock just rose), and train without limits or worry of classes.
Since most of my thoughts on this subject I’ve already put down (check HERE and HERE for my thoughts in regards to the Jenkins situation — I mean it, check them), I’m just going to synthesize my main points after the jump.
According to reports from philly.com, Phillies Hall of Fame announcer Harry Kalas died this afternoon after collapsing inside of the Nationals Stadium press box. He was rushed to George Washington University Medical Center, where attempts to revive him were unsuccessful. He was declared dead at 1:20 p.m.
I, like so many of you, grew up listening to him call games. He narrated many of the fondest moments of my childhood and separating him from what I think of as Phillies baseball would be impossible. I’m sure the Phillies will spare no expense in honoring his memory, but whatever they do won’t be able to come close to matching what he meant to this town.
Our thoughts are prayers are with his family, a term I think is appropriate to use broadly here.
We’ll have your links, thoughts on the Sixers, and notes from the Phils game tomorrow. May Harry rest in peace.
Hidden in Scott Lauber column on Pat Burrell moving on past the Phillies is a gem that should make all those who manged to get into the April 8th ring ceremony game happy: Pat Burrell will be in the building.
[Burrell] even met with team president David Montgomery and finalized plans to participate in a pregame ceremony April 8 during which he will be presented with his World Series ring.
Burrell wouldn’t miss it.
“It works out to where we are going to be in Boston,” Burrell said. “The Phillies have a day game. We play at night. So, I’ll be able to shoot on over and jump right back on a flight. It’s just a coincidence. Fortunately for me, it worked out.”
Classy move by the Phillies for trying to ensure this went down, Bait for being flexible with his schedule, and the Rays for allowing one of their players to be part of a moment that obviously is going to mean a lot to him. Even with all the current stars on the team, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Burrell managed to take home the loudest ovation.
“I’m a guy, I always seem to be walking right on top of, right down the middle of the fence,” he said. “I can understand the old hard-line guys who use the words, ‘He cheated, he cheated, he cheated.’ And [I understand] the other guys that go, ‘It was a culture thing back then, and if you played, you’d have been tempted, too.’”
In fact, when Schmidt was asked directly if he thought he’d have gotten caught up in trying performance-enhancing drugs had they been part of his era, he answered: “Most likely. Why not?”
I’m with Schmidt. You show me the drug that makes me better at a job and I’ll show you improved performance (and, for the record, I know I just opened myself up for an attack. Haters: tee off, you’re welcome). Hell, I hope damn near everyone on the current Phils team is trying to cheat their way to the top. If I want to be taught about morality I’d pay attention to religion or the law - I want to see wins, and if you have to break the rules to do it, well son, here is your locker and here is your bat.
You can talk all you want about aw-shucks and charity work, but while fans don’t buy tickets to watch Johnny Workshard go out there and hit .240, they damn sure pony up to see Stevie Steroid blast 900 ft homers off of Billy Wagner.
Like it or not, sports have a single bottom line, and winning by cheating is a lot better than the alternative.
UPDATE: I posted this in the comments but thought I should bump it up here because I think it’s important to clarify my initial point:
alright, let me clarify here: its not steroids I’m defending, but rather using every advantage you can find to get ahead. I want roids out of the game, I want the testing to be excellent, I want them to take everyone’s blood today and revoke their paychecks if they found out they cheated ten years from now when the tech catches up, but I certainly don’t think that the onus should be on the players to do make sure of that.
This post isn’t about the broad view, this is about the Phillies, and I sure as hell don’t want the Phillies to be a moral paragon at the expense of wins.
I don’t care about the players as men off the field, or rather, I seperate those two. For examples, Chris Coste is both a great guy and mediocre player. I love him to death, but I’d trade him for a second for a mediocre guy who is a great player – and so would you.
I want the league clean, but given a preference I’d take everyone clean except for the Phillies. I want the Phillies doing everything they can to win, and MLB as an organization doing everything they can to make sure they have to do it fairly. If MLB isn’t doing that job, well than I want the Phils exploiting the loopholes.
In short, I think that when it comes to steroids Bud Selig comes off as far worse of a person than A Rod. A Rod did, and should have, only cared about being the best. It isn’t ARods job to be the steward of baseball for all future generations – that’s Selig’s job, and if that future is fucked up, that’s Selig’s fault.
It appears the core of the 2008 World F. Champion Philadelphia Phillies are not interested in testing their mettle in what the World Baseball Classic will likely dub “the actual world championship.”
“He feels like he needs to spend his time in the spring getting ready for the season so he gets off to a better start,” [Team USA manager Davey]
Johnson said.
Howard started slowly during the last two regular seasons but that didn’t stop him from finishing fifth and second in National League MVP voting in 2007 and 2008, respectively. He won the award in 2006.
“We’ll miss him,” Johnson said. “We would have liked to have had his bat in the middle of our order.”
I guess the Commissioner’s Trophy and the Mets’ pride are enough hardware for the champs.
Look, I’m not faulting anyone for choosing rest and vaca over work (if you think you’re seeing a post up on New Years Day you’re a crazy person) but couldn’t Ryan have come up with something a little better than “get ready for the season?” I mean, is he really going to be playing less baseball at WBC than he will be back in St. Louis?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: whoever gave Lil Wayne an ESPN blog is a genius, that man bleeds hilarious wisdom. I’ve been a bit behind on the Weezy report recently, but Tha Carter has dropped two ‘posts’ recently and they’re both fantastic. They’re available HERE and HERE.
Here are the hightlights:
Oh, and I’m gonna get also gonna get the famous Vince Lombardi quote about “Life’s three important things are family, religion, and the Green Bay Packers” tattooed somewhere. I got a body suit of tattoos so I always find space.
I’m feeling Weezy here because I too once had a similar battle: when I was 17 I wanted to get a tattoo. Not only that, but since I have always more been partial to words than symbols I too wanted a quote. Now I’m not going to ruin the surprise of what mine says, but I will give you a quick hint: I never even considerd “Life’s three important things are family, religion, and the Green Bay Packers.” I now blame this fact for the discrepency in the respective success of myself and Lil Wayne.
On his entrance song if he was an MLB closer:
I’ve thought about it, and my song would be “Closing Time” by that group Semisonic. You know the one: Closing Tiiiiiiiime. Except I’d just have that loop over and over again “Closing Tiiiiiiime, Closing Tiiiiiiiime” while I came in from the bullpen.
An unexpected, but thoroughlly enjoyable chocie. On Plax Burress
I mean, I accidentally shot myself when I was twelve and that’s a scary lesson to learn. But before you go yelling at him and talking about his punishment for being so stupid it’s like, Guy, is your leg okay? I was amazed no one was asking that question. The guy just shot himself in the leg!
heh, Plax did shoot himself in the leg. On the Cowboys:
the NFL is going to have to move on because America’s team ain’t making the playoffs. Worse things have happened
On the Manny to the Yankees rumors:
If they got Manny I would be very sad. I would pick a really good song to make an anti-Manny reference about it, and then express my unhappiness on the blog every week. And then I would be mad at him for the rest of my life. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that, but what else are you gonna do?
Staff Blog
Butchers Kill Queens: A Roller Derby Recap
