I have a feeling that when many people hear the words “sex conference,” they think of some variation of “orgy.” But hearing and talking about sexuality can be just as valid, thought-provoking and professional as any other topic; why shouldn’t there be an event like TED or SXSW for a subject that so intimately affects so many daily lives?
This weekend, Philly is hosting its own conference, SEXx Interactive, where you can learn about rope bondage, toxic sex-toy ingredients and sex as a spiritual practice. There also will be sessions on sex and cancer, a dialogue about destigmatizing HIV and even “Vampires, Leatherface & Girls in their Underwear: Sexuality in Horror Movies.”
Rutgers University Associate Professor Carlos Ulises Decena, queer performance artist Ignacio Rivera and feminist writer Feminista Jones are the keynote speakers. I’ll be teaching a workshop called, Erotica 101. The sessions will be held Friday through Sunday at the First Unitarian Church of Philadelphia, 2125 Chestnut St.
SEXx will feature more than 40 short TED-style talks, longer lectures and workshops and entertainment billed as “a journey for the mind, heart and body.” Its genesis? A 2014 TEDx talk by Chris Bartlett of the William Way Community Center about Chinatown and the Gayborhood gave sex conference co-founder Elicia Gonzales an ah-ha moment.
“I had the idea that a sexuality-based TEDx-style event would be really neat,” she says.
Gonzales is the director of queer Latino social justice organization GALAEI, the nonprofit leading SEXx (which also receives a portion of the event’s proceeds). She organized the conference with Timaree Schmit, David Acosta, Susan DiPronio, Tara Lessard and Katelyn Regan, expanding it from last year’s three-hour program, which also was held in Philly. You don’t need an advanced degree or to even know what “sharps play” or “asexuality,” two SEXx subjects, mean. You’ll learn.
“We want this conference to be for everyone, regardless of educational background, profession or experience,” Gonzales says. “We also want to appeal to more than just our minds. So while there will be informational workshops, there will also be art, performances, dance parties, comedy, how-to workshops and play parties. Our mission is to create an informative, fun, honest, intimate atmosphere to engage in sex-positive experiences.”
Each evening, there will be social events, including DTF: Darryl and Timaree Fun Hour, a “BYOB sex ed/comedy/game show.”
An activist spirit infuses the organizers’ mission because, as Gonzales puts it, “Sexual freedom is a social-justice issue.
“When queer people of color are fetishized or exist only as sexual objects, we must take action. … We wanted to shed a light on the fact that as queer people of color, our sexuality is often for the pleasure of others. We want to give our community permission to have agency over our own sexuality and bodies,” she says.
I haven’t attended SEXx before, but at the sexuality conferences I have been to, one of the most notable features is the openness to discuss a topic that’s so often kept behind closed doors. This doesn’t mean people will rush up to strangers and ask them about their favorite positions. It does mean that respectful, curious inquiries are welcome, and that you’re almost guaranteed to learn about the sex life of someone different from you. How many events can you say that about?
Rachel Kramer Bussel is the author of the essay collection *Sex & Cupcakes and editor of over 50 erotica anthologies, most recently *Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica.