Staff Blog
Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip — Confessions of a Cynical Waiter, by “The Waiter”
posted by andrew thompson
 |
| Ecco, 320 pp., $24.95, July 29 |
Ever since David Sedaris proved that humorous, autobiographical short stories can sell, a crop of new writers has sprung out of nowhere trying to emulate him. Chelsea Handler, Augusten Burroughs, Cynthia Kaplan, and now The Waiter. And like many Sedaris hopefuls, his attempts fall short.
After maintaining the blog WaiterRant.net for the past four years, the writer who identifies himself only as The Waiter — possibly from fear of fanfare (or retribution) at his restaurant — has written a book of the same title and theme: How much it sucks to be a waiter. In 10- to 15-page doses, The Waiter reveals the minds behind the ostensibly sane restaurants you dine in, all the while illustrating a variety of insolent, Napoleonic customers whose after-work recreation is treating waiters like their personal plantation workers. The most satisfying moments of the book come when The Waiter takes vengeance on these diners, but unfortunately, the chapter that exclusively focuses on revenge is also the shortest.
Although the book is an enlightening look at a venue most people take at face value, Waiter Rant will likely appeal more to servers looking for a brother in the cause than it will to diners. While some chapters are highly rewarding, other stories are unfocused and lack unifying themes, which The Waiter attempts to haphazardly remedy at the ends. He easily gets lost in tangential autobiography about his personal life and aspirations as a writer. Often, meaningless, protracted dialogue fills the pages, and The Waiter includes too many quotes to highlight his own wit. Instead of describing scenes and personalities, the narrative gets weighed down in mildly clever similes. And even though the book is funny, it probably won’t make you laugh.
Despite its shortcomings, Waiter Rant is still worth reading. If you’re a waiter, there will be plenty of “That happened to me!” moments. If you’re a diner, you’ll learn why you should leave your fascist tendencies at the door (and why you should always tip 20 percent). And for both, you’ll buy the book happily knowing that you’re helping at least one waiter escape the tyranny of restaurants.
