Admit it, you want more from this week’s Movies section.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon — C

New Moon didn’t screen in time for publication but Drew Lazor went anyway:

Let’s start out by saying there’s no real point in criticizing Twilight. Complaining about the pointlessness of Stephanie Meyer’s bizarro Mormon fantasy world, populated by pouty, eyelash-fluttering studmuffin vampires, steroid-abusing American Indian werewolf boys and the screamingly self-absorbed teenage girls they lust after is akin to punching a tidal wave — it may make you feel like you’re fighting the good fight, but your ass is still going to drown. This series, for myriad reasons, has an unrelenting stranglehold on American pop culture and is not going to let go until the last drop of blood (money) has been drained from the veins of America’s shrieking tweens. So what exactly does Chris Weitz’s New Moon, which picks up right where Catherine Hardwicke’s 2008 smash left off, accomplish in terms of advancing our understanding of this arcane mess? Nothing in particular. Bella (Kristen Stewart, the No. 1-ranked lip biter/melodramatic sigher in Hollywood) still treats her friends and father like garbage because she’s so fixated on thousand-yard-stare-factory douchevamp Edward (Robert Pattinson), who abandons her early on after an ugly incident at his family’s house. Jacob (Taylor Lautner), tormented by Bella’s incessant mixed messages (“You’re beautiful! I love you! But I still like vampire guy better, he’s mad sparkly!”), lifts a shitload of weights, discovers he’s a werewolf and starts wearing nothing but jean shorts and running shoes. (We also learn that werewolves, while in human form, enjoy muffins for breakfast.) We eventually meet the Voltari vampire council, all of whom dress like they’re in a porn version of Immortal Beloved. The acting is crappy, the plot is stupid and Meyer seems to want every young girl in America to believe it’s OK to screw over everyone who cares about you in the name of restraining-order-worthy love. But this is the movie that made $26.3 million in a single night, so I’m going to go ahead and holster my haymakers and let that saltwater rush into my lungs real slow like.

The Messenger — A-

Just in case you missed it, Gary M. Kramer talked to The Messenger director Own Moverman and its star Ben Foster:

CP: So, Ben, how did you immerse yourself in the role?
BF: Oren set up a field trip for Woody and myself to go to Walter Reade Hospital before we started shooting, to spend time in the amputee ward. That was a life-changing experience. You can read things in the paper, and see things in the news, but to be in the amputee ward and touching a 19 year-old boy’s stump, it roots you. It becomes, in itself, its own kind of humble service trying to get out of the way of yourself and serve these men and women and represent them warts and all, scars and all.

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Jessica Kourkounis

We told you about the Philadelphia Art Hotel, a super-short, quirky artist residency that breaks all kinds of rules, this summer. PAH’s proprietors, Krista and Zak Peel, have since moved into the Kenzo house they spoke about, complete with three floors for the married couple, live-in artists and a gallery, and — perhaps one day — an artist-made mini-golf course. They announced today that they’ll be holding a benefit/gallery exhibit at the Walking Fish Theater (2509 Frankford Ave., 215-427-2822) on Fri., Dec. 4 from 5:30 to 10 p.m., and OH MY GOD, can you please go and donate so they can get that golf course? HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE??

Anyway. The exhibit features “12 miraculous, miniature, museum models” by artists including Karl Erickson, Matt Bergstrom, Cara Levine and Ross Martens. The works have been photographed for a 2010 calendar, too, which will be available for $30 at the benefit and $40 online.

Photo | Mark Stehle

It looked dire for the 941 Theater for awhile. The NoLibs movie theater/concert venue/weird-ass event space was shut down by L&I in October, making things like rent, bills and daily operative costs nearly impossible to cover. But the boys at 941 are picking themselves and holding a series of fundraisers. They’ve already raised $1000 via private donations. If they raise another grand, they have found an investor who will match the donations dollar-for-dollar.

The string of events kicks off tonight with a Mad Division DJ night featuring Joker, Nomad Subdivision Crew and more at the Mausoleum (12th and Spring Garden), where there will be a $2 suggested donation going to the 941. In fact, K. Ross Hoffman gave you the skinny on it in this week’s issue.

Without venues like 941, filmmakers, musicians and other artists lose an important avenue to present their work. Go out and support your local art scene! Click For More »

Wikipedia Commons

Go to the Municipal Services Building Courtyard (1401 JFK Blvd.) at exactly noon today and you’ll see a strange sight: More than 500 people will be reading books while freezing in place for two minutes. Hosted by the Center for Literacy, this demonstration is meant to raise awareness of illiteracy, surely a social issue that’s easy to forget — unless 500 frozen people are reminding you about it.

Skip lunch; go do something good and fun.

A sneak peek at the next episode of The Cleveland Show.

Amazon

On a normal day, I’d judge this cover.

Don’t know what to do tonight? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

— What makes Mad Men, a sometimes grating show, good? What do Germans think of our war in Afghanistan? How did Ted Kennedy manage to move past his family name’s glamour and be one of the people? These are just a few of the topics George Packer has tackled lately on his Interesting Times blog, a place full of pithy essays on how weird and cool and awful it is to live today. Similarly, his book of the same name addresses the past 10 years and all their funkiness. He’ll be reading from it tonight at the Free Library, Central Branch (1901 Vine St.215-686-5322) at 7:30 p.m. for free.

— I’m in an odd mood: I’m listening to Jacqui Naylor, a gal who wears cowboy boots and digs soft lighting on her album covers, sing the blues, the kinda cheesy blues, and likin’ it. She’s at the World CafĂ© Live (3025 Walnut St.215-222-1400) at 9 p.m. for $20.

— South Moon Under’s Shopping Spree is like a mini-Black Friday for all you BF freaks. There’s 20 percent off all merchandise, complimentary gift wrapping, and free drinks. Free drinks. Now that’s what the Friday after Thanksgiving needs. It goes down from 6:30 to 9 p.m. at South Moon (1731 Chestnut St., 215-568-2170).

Not satisfied? Check out today’s listings for more and more and more events.

Buy us this.

gizmodo.com

Holy E. Honda, Batman! How much do you want this Street Fighter snuggie, confirmed by Capcom as an actual product? Because I want it a lot.

Or maybe I’m just nostalgic for JCVD Week. But, honestly, who isn’t?

Also, if you want to buy us that Elvis snuggie on the right, we’ll take that too.

h/t Rajiv

Wesley Willis, Chicago’s answer to Daniel Johnston, was a schizophrenic rock ‘n’ roll troubadour and outsider artist. His songs are simple, often just a drum machine or keyboard, all under Willis’ endearingly tone deaf voice. Incredibly prolific, Willis recorded over 50 albums. Filmed over the last four years of his life, the documentary Wesley Willis’ Joy Rides premiered at the 2008 Slamdance Film Festival (where Philly-set The New Year Parade took home top honors) and went on to the win the Gold Hugo for Chicago Award at the Chicago International Film Fest. The title refers to how Willis famously saw rock ‘n’ roll — as joy ride music.

In anticipation of Joy Rides‘ December 8 DVD release, National Mechanics will host a a free midnight screening of the doc on Monday, November 30. Trailer is above. What’s your fave Wesley Willis song? Nothing beats my frist experience with Willis, which was “Rock ‘n’ Roll McDonalds.” Enjoy.

 

Wesley Willis Joyrides, Mon., Nov. 30, midnight, free, National Mechanics, 22 S. Third St., 215-701-4883.

Sulekha

Every Thursday, we give you this week’s LGBTQ to-do list.

— Get fired up for the weekend by attending a free discussion led by Iraq veteran Lt. Dan Choi tonight at 5 p.m. at UPenn’s Houston Hall (3417 Spruce St.). Choi will be talking about his experience being ousted from an impressive tenure in the military after “coming out” on the Rachel Maddow Show. He will also discuss awkward cultural differences he endures as a gay Korean-American and how the Army’s decision, based on the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, catapulted him to become one of the country’s most outspoken gay activists. I’m getting pumped just thinking about it.

— On Sat., Nov. 21 from 7:30 to 10 p.m., Giovanni’s Room (345 S. 12th St., 215-923-2960) is holding the LGBT Read-a-Thon as a continued effort to fund its building project and the Lambda Literary Society. Packed in the two-story edifice will be 20 LGBT authors, including Thom Nickles, S. Renee Bess and Perry Brass, reading, signing and chatting about their current published works. I know, I know, who wants to spend Saturday night with her nose stuck in a book? I just figure it’s a good idea keep it low-key before the hectic holiday weekend approaches, and who knows, you just may run into one of those cute, nerdy, book-huggin’ types to share an intellectual chat/drink with afterward. The admission price of $50 is donation-based.

— Kick off your holiday drunkfest at the Pink Pub Crawl, which begins at Stir (1705 Chancellor St., 215-732-2700) on Wed. Nov. 25 at 9 p.m. After downing a few stiff ones, and maybe exchanging a number or two, the flaming caravan will then wind its way around the Gayborhood, stopping in Q Lounge (1234 Locust St., 215-732-1800) and Woody’s (202 S. 13th St., 215-545-1893) before hitting up Voyeur (1221 St. James St., 215-735-5772) for a late-night dance party. The price of one ticket ($20-$30) will get you a free beer or wine in each location plus admission to the dance floors at Woody’s and Voyeur. This will be a fun opportunity to meet new people, become acquainted with the ‘hood and build up a tolerance so you can avoid getting inappropriately tanked at aunt Dorothy’s Thanksgiving dinner. She just can’t handle it like she used to.

Itching for more gay events? Check out our LGBTQ listings.

Oren Moverman	Ben Foster

Directed and co-written by Oren Moverman, The Messenger stars Ben Foster as Sgt. Will Montgomery, a soldier wounded in the Iraq war re-assigned to the Casualty Notification Office. With Capt. Tony Stone (Woody Harrelson), Montgomery informs next of kin about their family members who have died in war. When he meets Olivia (Samantha Morton), Will develops a strong connection with her—one that prompts him to make some discoveries about himself. Cindy Fuchs reviews the film in this week’s issue but I sat down with Moverman and Foster to discuss The Messenger and what they learned making this film.
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