Friday: Head over to CP’s neck of the woods for a little First Friday action; Carolyn Huckabay’s got the goods on what to see (we’ve also got some sweet new gallery listings you gotta check out). But art in Old City? Old news. Be bold and try another artistic locale with the Strawberry Mansion Art, Jewelry and Fine Craft Show.

Saturday: Esquire writer A.J. Jacobs wouldn’t miss the First Person Fest for the world, even after he met A.D. (who also rocked this week’s cover story on the Top 10 Spectrum Music Moments). Show up in style by traveling along with the Tweed Ride. It’s a good this thing is happening on today, rather than tomorrow because these riders would most certainly have to start a to-the-death brawl with the participants in the…

Sunday: …Snuggie Crawl. Do not scoff, haters. Mama Omnibus alway, always, always wanted a Snuggie and it wasn’t until Art Department angel Allie bestowed one upon me that I felt my life was complete. Needless to say, it’s glorious. But too many Snuggies and not enough substance leads to trouble so check out Life Without Parole, where excerpts of Mother California: A Story of Redemption Behind Bars by the incarcerated Kenneth Hartman will be read.

Friday: James Spooner and Matthew Morgan’s idea for the Afro-Punk fest came out of their 2003 doc, which is apt because your Mischief Night is going to be movie-themed. In addition to hitting up music/lit/sometimes sports fest, you can check out Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist, which I guarantee will show you more than any Saw movie could hope to do. Or go for the OG of horror, Nosferatu, accompanied by the lovely former covergirl T. Desiree Hines (and had a cameo on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia last night!).

Saturday: Please, like Mama Omnibus even needs to tell you what day today is. Of course, Rodney Anonymous and the Dead Milkmen hold it down tonight at the Troc. Read his pre-show diary. Seriously. It’s beyond hilarious. But don’t forget Holly and Lauren’s suggestions, like Revival Burlesque or the Day of the Dead Festival. Erin’s got some foodie suggestions over on Meal Ticket as well, and Pat’s got Making Time’s Halloween for you over in Music.

Sunday: But Halloween doesn’t have to end when November starts. Josh Middleton has the Name that Tune lowdown in Critical Mass’ Art Phag, not to mention the darker than the darkest dark sounds of Dethklok and Mastodon hitting the Electric Factory (study up by reading A.D. Amorosi’s interview with Dethkok creator Brendon Smalls). Mama gets it if this ghoulish weekend tuckered you out so how about a little Dia de Los Muertos menu from Xochitl.

Friday: Last weekend was a shitshow in terms of weather and no one wants a repeat of that. So it might seem counter intuitive to go see a band called Rain Machine, but it’s worth it. Even if it does ’cause a little drizzle. Because there’s nothing better to do when it’s raining then watch a movie, like the ones shown at this weekend’s FirstGlance Film Fest (if you can’t make it today, how about Sunday when Joe Leonard’s How I Got Lost premieres).

Saturday: Give it up for the King of Pop zombie-style at the Piazza with Thrill the World. Don’t forget to bone up on your dancin’ moves.

Michael Jackson - Thriller (Official Music Video

But even zombies need to eat (even if all they crave is braaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnns), so get your fill at Bloktoberfest and the Harvest Fest at Reading Terminal before you go.

Sunday: It’s not very often that Mama Omnibus endorses an event at Cheerleaders, but is there anything better than naked ladies and puppies? Naw, most definitely not, which is why you need to hit up Pin Ups for Pitbulls, where high glamor meets doggy-love. High and low art also mixes at former Sex Pistol’s guru Malcolm McClaren’s Shallow 1-21 movie/pop song mash-up. Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? Not this weekend.

Friday: Ugh, it’s gross to the max outside. Mama Omnibus calls movie night. Good thing the Philadelphia Film Fest is this weekend.! Or keep warm with giggles with Jill Bernard’s singing-dancing-hilarity extravaganza Drum Machine.

Saturday: Pick up some t-shirts, jewelry and the other DIY-ables on hand at the Squidfire Art Mart and then wear them to see Paramore/Matt Haimovitz/the Arutro Stable Quintet. Your choice, Mama don’t discriminate.

Sunday: Tattoos are a dime a dozen, but how many people can claim being tatted-up on board a Cruiser? Hop on the Landmark Olympia Cruiser for the Mighty Warship Olympia Tattoo Festival. Then strap on the lederhosen (is that German!?) for the Franconian Beers at Memphis Taproom. Firkins for all!

Jessica Kourkounis

The Squidling Bros. swallow

Friday: The freaky folks of the Olde City Sideshow and The Squidling Bros. Circus give you double trouble tonight with two different shows. Check ‘em out at National Mechanics or the Ellen Powell Tiberino Museum, respectively. If you choose to hit up Nat. Mechanics, stop by the “It’s All in the Glass” Whiskey Tasting at Hudson Beach Glass before you get freaky.

Saturday: Artist Jun Kaneko goes avant garde with the East Coast debut of his production of Madama Butterfly. Before the fat lady sings, pizazz up your wardrobe at Philadelphia Fashion Week. Or just hit up the just opened Men’s Mezz.

Sunday: Have you read Brian James Kirk’s new nerdcore column Peer-to-Peer? You should, ’cause if you don’t, you won’t know about Video Games Live where Super Mario is a symphony and Sonic the Hedgehog a work of art. If you don’t would rather just be out than geek out, OutFest is this weekend and our fab Art Phag columnist Josh Middleton gives you the scoop.

Shawn Brackbill

The Vile One

Friday: Book nerds rejoice! The 215 Fest is back with events ranging from a hot-to-trot library dance party to musical interpretations of your fave books. Check sites.google.com/site/215festival for more info. But before you get down and dirty with some about-to-turn naughty librarians, take a stroll through Old City before First Friday becomes to cold to endure. Chucks gives you the hook-up this week.

Saturday: It’s Design Philadelphia time! Nathaniel Popkin’s got the scoop and gal-about-town Lauren F. know what’s up events-wise like the TAZtetris. Check out this abandoned lot-cum-gallery space Flickr photos. Tonight is your last night see it so get to it. Is Kurt Vile the most important man in music today? Decide for yourself when the hometown hero does Philly up right at Kung Fu Necktie.

Sunday: It’s getting oh-so-cold outside but warm up with a viewing of Allens Lane’s Psycho Beach Party, about a Gidget-y surfer chick who just wants to fit in — too bad her split personality transforms her into Ann Bowman, dominatrix goddess. Then head to the revitalizing South Street for the Harvest Beer Dinner at Supper or just curl up by the TV and watch Jose Garces own on The Next Iron Chef.

lebowskifest.com

Friday: Break out the jelly sandals ’cause tonight marks the first night of Lebowski Fest. Tonight, view the movie at the Electric Factory with other Urban Achievers (stick it out for tomorrow and you can hit up the bowling party at North Bowl). But first raise, your White Russians to the Rotunda, who celebrate their tenth birthday with a weekend chock full of events and happenings.

Saturday: if you’re not off hanging with Walter and Donny at the lanes, choose between Flying Lotus‘ deeply dubby hip-hop at the Painted Bride or the quadrupled (+1) Toy Soldiers at the Fire. But if you’re more the to-the-teeth competitive type, check out the Gayborhood Games where the fairy folk go at it to see who is the best of the best.

Sunday: Mama Omnibus doesn’t like bread. Crazy, no? I’ll eat the sporadically eat an Amoroso and I’m never one to pass up Sarcone’s but white, wheat, rye? Blech. But Sandwich Smash 2009, put on the by the good folks at Unbreaded, looks like a winner even to me. Then gather your formal wear and douse it in blood and guts because it’s time for Zombie Prom! Just don’t forget the corsage, or your date may eat your brains.

Note: Britta Phillips does not look like this.

Friday: While Mama Omnibus was (ahem, for work) researching Jem — she of the Holograms and being TRULY OUTRAGEOUS — I found that Britta Phillips — she of Luna and Dean & Britta — was the singing voice for Jerrica Benton’s rock star alter-ego. If that’s not enough read to see Dean & Britta’s 13 Most Beautiful … Songs for Any Warhol’s Screen Tests, I don’t know what is. Not into Dean & Britta’s Velvet Undergroundisized dream pop? Then break out that thinning Black Flag tee and get nostalgic for that time Greg Ginn totally said he’d listen to your shitty band’s demo at the Barred for Life fundraiser.

Saturday: ‘Cause you’re already rockin’ and rollin’ how’s about you check out Philly’s own Glidon Works? We’ve got tracks up on the site for your aural pleasure. Not feeling it? All good. Fabolous and Seth Meich & the Big Sound Ensemble hold it down on other ends of the musical spectrum. But before, pre-game at Philly Oktoberfest because great things are born out of beer, such as a today’s Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Sunday: Continue Friday’s punk rock nostalgia and hit up Zine Fest. The medium ain’t dead yet and these cats want to prove it to you. Finally, cap off your weekend by railing against corporate greed in Steven Soderbergh’s excellent The Informant!

Pat Aulisio

Click to enlarge

Mama Omnibus walked to the Fortress of City Paper as per usual, enduring the most miserablist of weather. It’s hard not to get down on plans with rain slowly filling my new apparently-not-waterproof boots but weather be damned! This weekend’s forecast will toughen you little Omnibussers up for the cold grueling months ahead. So break out the jeans, sweaters and rain slickers and work it out!

Friday: Ah Fringe, it ain’t over to the fat lady sings a tuneless aria about the oppressive nature of YouTube, the Bush Doctrine and Lolcats. That hasn’t happened yet so you’ve still got a lot to choose from. Here are some best fest choices from our panel of experts and, as always, a litany of picks to choose from like 4Play. But before you hit all things Fringe, make sure to fill your belly at the White Dog’s Dance of the Ripe Tomatoes. Roast pig sandwich, lamb Bolognese stations and tomato gazpacho shooters?! Oh my!

Saturday: Timewarp back to the ’80s and give love to the pong-playin’ technology of you’re at the Vintage Computer Festival. Then it’s off to Johnny Brenda’s for the antifolky sounds of Jeffrey Lewis, opening for Akron/Family, who prefer their folk with a side of freak.

Sunday: Set off Sunday with the Philadelphia Alternative Comic Con, which features funnies populated by the likes of bong smoking anti-heroes, like fest organizer Pat Aulisio’s strip above. So much more relatable than your average orphan billionaire bat! And even though Mama told you it was time to toughen up, remember the dog days of summer with Green Fest. Hey, why not bike there?

Oh shit, it’s about to get Fringe-y up in here. You have so many shows to choose from, but may Mama suggest a microcosm of the whole fest, or what about a torrent of social media shows? Check out some and report back. There will be a test.

Friday: Holy art deluge, Batman! In addition to all of the Fringeness, it’s also First Friday and, as per usual, our gal Lori Hill gives it to y’all straight up. But it’s lonely gallery hopping by yourself, so head of to Tritone to find your own Punk Rock Girl (or Boy) to hold hands with and talk about the merits of a Dez Cadina-led vs. a Henry Rollins-led Black Flag at the Punk Rock Dating Game.

Saturday: Get all of those suck puns out of your system with Dracula’s Ball, proving that preserving that palid pallor was worth the time and effort for the goths and goth-ettes. If you’re trying to avoid getting black lipstick on your teeth, check out he newly opened Sa Va, which houses all local, all the time clothes and pays it’s employees a living wage.

Sunday: Even though you have the duds, you’re certainly not going to need them for the Philly Naked Bike Ride, which is … exactly like it sounds. But for god’s sakes, put your clothes back on when you go to Johnny Brenda’s for tonight’s Benjy Ferree show.

Friday: Get all of those “whoas!” and “no ways!” out of your system in at Trickadelphia, when you watch “tricking,” a combo of martial arts, gymnastics, breakdancing and, apparently, awesome. The get your bumping and banging on at new the West Phil hotspot when you hit up Philadelphyinz at Blockley.

Saturday: But keep those dancing shoes on ’cause it’s the King of Pop’s bday, and you’re gonna honor him right by learning the choreography to “Shake Your Body Down” at the Michael Jackson Birthday Celebration.

Sunday: Fill your afternoon with Sake Sunday at World Café Live, where you’ll get the lowdown on all things rice wine. It’s all capped off by a staff-judged karaoke contest. Then settle down, drink lots of fluids, turned to your loved one and say, “How ’bout a movie?”

Neal Santos

This is what salmorejo is, BTW.

Friday: Are you XPNerienced? It’s Folk Fest time again and Mary Armstrong gives you her faves of the fest. Today, you’ll catch the Rebirth Brass Band, Dante Bucci and among a plethora of others setting up camp in Schwenksville this weekend. Then brush those pearly whites to impress the folks over at That Bites: An Oral Fundraiser, filled with chomper-themed works of art.

Saturday: Block parties are Mama’s fave part of summer. Who doesn’t like shooting the shit with the neighbs you normally just shoot awkward smiles at? But the only thing better than one block party is three, with a race between each one so hit up Block to Block, withc special consideration to the banging bill at the Mad Decent Block Party. Then it’s off to the Ibrahim Theater at IHouse for the Philly premiere of the cult fave Dillinger is Dead. The ending is totally “curious,” as our main man Gary K refers to it as, but…

Sunday: …not nearly as curious the work of Marcel Duchamp, whose étant Donnés is examined in this PMA exhibit. Then head to market for so ‘matoes, garlic and xantham gum ’cause you’re going to make some salmorejo with Meal Ticket goddess Felicia D. and Amada chef MacGregor Mann. He has possibly the best name ever (think of the nicknaming possibilities! Mama calls dibs on Big Mac) so his food has gotta be good. Don’t forget to watch their sweet vid…

A piece from 8-Bit and Beyond, but how much would this little guy own at UFC?

Friday: Veg out at the National Constitution Center with a seasonal cooking lesson from sous chef Derek Steel of Max and Me Catering at their Vegetable Garden Party. Can’t make it? Stay for their “Into the Open” garden exhibit. You’re already lean, mean and green so hop on over to Bartram’s Gardens, and with wish Chuck Darwin a happy birthday at the insectivorous plant-themed art show Little Show of Horrors. Try not to get eaten, please because then you be able to experience:

Saturday: Singer/songwriter/all-around nice guy Joe Pernice playing the soundtrack to his debut novel, It Feels So Good When I Stop. Since you went lean, mean and green yesterday, you might as well become a fighting machine today. So, thank Mars that Philly gets to host an Ultimate Fighting Championship.

Sunday: Now that you’ve seen destruction, how about a little creation? Try Make Philly Barbecue, where DIYers of all shapes and sizes get together for some lip smackin’ fun. With a full belly and creativity on the brain, check out Brave New Worlds’ 8-Bit and Beyond, a video game-inspired art exhibit. It’s best to study up, ”cause if these boys have their way, Philly may be a video game town yet.

Friday: Let’s keep it musical tonight with three very nice choices: Foreign Born, Cass McCombs and Gildon Works. Good and all, but can you write a haiku about them and subsequently win Guitar Hero? Probably not, but some already written in the comments section are pretty funny … not unlike the new one from dick-jokes-with-heart auteur Judd Apatow. It’s, aptly enough, called Funny People (word on the street is that In the Loop delivers on those goods, too).

Saturday: Your first stop on the newly anointed SaturDIY is UArts for DIY Days, where a litany of sisters (and brothers) are doing it for themsevles. The lectures will discuss everything from the future of comics to making major movies. Then hit up the Convention Center (nom nom) for a screening of Handmade Nation and a Q&A with director (and DIY-er herself) Faythe Levine.

Sunday: While Prison Escape Weekend is meant for educational purposes only, you may find yourself in some type of Dr.-Richard-Kimble-I-DIDN’T-KILL-MY-WIFE type of sitch, at which point you’ll be happy you went. (And if you meet Tommy Lee Jones, tell him Mama thinks U.S. Marshals is totally underrated.) Then light up your Lucky, slick back your hair and start referencing Eisenhower ’cause it’s time to head to South Philly for the Fourth Annual Doo Wop Car Show and Street Festival where you can eat freebie food and dance your bobby socks right off.