This just in:

I’d like to start by saying how much I love the improvements to Franklin Square Park. It’s been part of my walking commute for years and has become one of the favorite parts of my day. With summer here, there is now a huge problem of cars illegally parking on the sidewalk on the eastern side of the park. Often times cars will park diagonally across the sidewalk, forcing pedestrians into the street. This is especially frustrating for me because it means pushing a baby in a stroller down 6th street. It extremely dangerous. The other day my son was riding his bike down the sidewalk when a car came driving down the sidewalk toward him to pull in with the other parked cars. I should not have to worry about my kids being hit by cars driving on the sidewalk. It may be the "best park for kids", but that is only if your kids survive the trip.

Meters have been added on 6th Street all the way to Callowhill Street. The meters would certainly see more use during the day if cars couldn’t illegally park closer to the city for free. Why spend so much time and money making the park so beautiful only to use the surrounding sidewalk as a parking lot?

Michael Krumrine

Responses to my initial Editor’s Letter were generally positive. But you can’t please everyone. Especially the old-timey folks at Franklin Fountain, who, it would seem, long for more than just the tonics and confections of a simpler time — but also the language. They take umbrage, i assume, at my colloquial use of the "S" word to describe the City Paper.

Your objection is noted, gentlemen.

Barbara Tarvydas writes in response to our call for inexpensive tips for home improvement:

I have a barbeque that I’m not using and turned it into a small desk. I put a square board on top and use the space inside to store office supplies.

I also have a table with one shelf and used an individual drawer from neighbors’ discards and put the drawer into the table space. Fits perfectly.

Thanks Barbara!

For more quick-and-easy tips for enhancing your abode, check Jason Tomassini’s guide on the cover of this week’s City Paper.

Well, we’ll have a new mayor-elect by the time our next issue comes out, which makes it rather illogical to run any Nutter/Taubenberger related letters then. So, here are a couple that we’ve received in recent days. (Vote Milton):

The police commissioner is a really nice guy, but under his watch, the city is a “war zone.” He should not say Nutter’s plan won’t work, because I feel Johnson’s plan hasn’t worked. Any plan would be better than what is currently being used now. Another thing: keep the race crap out of the story. All people will be subject to the stop and frisk plan. If more minorities are arrested after being searched then it must mean that more minorities are walking around Philadelphia carrying a weapon! I firmly believe Nutter’s brain is working in the right direction [Cover, “Congrats, Mayor Nutter,” Tom Namako and Doron Taussig, Oct. 25, 2007]. He will do what is necessary to lower the crime rate. Give him a chance. Maybe after Nutter gets things straightened out, I will feel safe again when visiting the city. I may even leave my gun at home. William Chippendale Warrington, Bucks County

Until this week I, a lifelong Republican voter, was going to vote for Nutter for mayor because I liked him so much in the primary and since then. But this week, he gratuitously inserted into a campaign ad a picture of Bush and Cheney saying that Philadelphia deserves better. What do they have to do with this city’s problems? It was a cheap shot and ugly of Mr. Nutter to do this. I am sad to say that I will not be voting for Mr. Nutter for mayor, after all. He is less of a man than I thought he was. I have not been as displeased with Bush and Cheney as he seems to be. Whoever is mayor, I hope he is as successful as that pair has been in keeping us safe. Certainly Street has nothing to brag about in this department. Janet Cantor Northeast Philadelphia

Marrazzo

glenspringfield.com

Presented here, in its entirety, a letter from "A Group of Dedicated WHYY Employees" to their uber-paid CEO and President William J. Marrazzo. Seems things still aren’t all that happy over on Sesame Street (and special thanks to new CP Intern Eileen Talone for transcribing all five typed pages. Atta gal):

September 1, 2007

An open letter to William J. Marrazzo, CEO and President, WHYY

Dear Mr. Marrazzo,

We are a group of WHYY employees with an accumulation of 109 years of service. Many of us have worked for a number of CEOs over the years, but never has someone with your title and responsibilities impacted the company in such an adverse way. You have displayed a serious lack of understanding when it comes to creating an environment that is conducive to a healthy work place.

This letter is to inform you of the growing negative climate created during your ten years as CEO. Your lack of leadership has contributed to an atmosphere of low morale, virtually no teamwork or cooperation between departments, and an overwhelming feeing of distrust between senior management and the rest of the company.
 
Under your direction, the ability to get things done in a speedy and timely fashion has slowed to a snail’s pace. You and Bruce Flamm, CFO/COO have created a workplace filled with anxiety, trepidation, and despair when it comes to getting any funding or budgets approved. This attitude has negatively affected our company in a variety of ways. You and Mr. Flamm have instilled a culture that never existed prior to your arrival. During your tenure, there has been a common saying among our staff—“That’s just the way it is around here.”

(more…)

(Click for full letter)

Last year we brought you the story of Jonathan Lee Riches, a guest at the Federal Correctional Institution Williamsburg in Salters, S.C. who had come to our attention when he filed a law suit in Philly in which he was suing, well, everyone and everything he could think of. 

The list went a little something like this: George W. Bush, Hillary Rodham Clinton, James Hoffa, www.google.com, Pope Benedict XVI, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, John Deere, www.accuweather.com, Adolf Hitler’s National Socialist Party, Roc-A-Fella Records, Shawn Carter (doing business at Jay-Z), Japan’s Nikkei Stock Exchange, Gambino (crime family), Three Mile Island, Tony Danza, Islamic Republic of Iran, University of Miami, GEICO Insurance, Jewish State of Israel, Soledad O’Brien, Tsunami victims, The American Red Cross, Jessica Alba…

It’s good reading, and you can download a pdf of the full defendant list here. 

Then, a couple weeks ago, we received the attached letter from Riches: "I filed numerous other lawsuits throughout the country and I’m filing more soon…"  The list includes JLR v. Defcon; JLR vs. Uniform Commercial Code; and JLR v. Government Snitches and Informants Inc.

Well, he wasn’t kidding. Last week, our piece on Riches shot to the top of our most popular stories on the strength of Google searches on his name.

Turns out one of Riches’ other suits, JLR v. Michael Vick — wherein Riches accuses Vick of, among other things, pledging allegiance to al Qaeda, stealing his identity to sell shirts and mugs, and subjecting him to microwave testing — got picked up by the national media (and this blog who linked to our pdf without even crediting us! It’s called netiquette, people!)

no skate zone

phila.gov

From: "Bald Mermaid"
Subject: NO SKATEBOARDING IN KONRAD SQUARE PARK?

Recently there has been an injustice committed in Konrad Square Park. I am not referring to the, unfortunately, everyday occurrences of drug abuse and dealings, the unruly mobs that often rumble there or the blatant disregard for a clean and sanitary recreation space. The horrible offense I speak of was apparently skateboarding, or in my eyes, the banning of skateboarding.

Who decided that the few kids in the neighborhood that are not out getting into trouble should be punished? Were there that many complaints against the skating that action had to be taken? I find that hard to believe since just recently a group of 14 year old girls were busted for selling drugs and nothing else has been done to curb that more serious problem.

The kids being punished are the kids who arent breaking into cars and houses, who arent doing drugs, who arent hurting anyone! These skateboarders do not damage the benches or flower beds (unlike other children and adults who run loose in the park pulling flowers and tagging any surface they can) because they have their own ramp and rail! Usually when they are done they either drag the ramp to it’s storage space, gratefully donated by a neighbor or if they can’t store it for the night, they put it along the curb in a "parking space", taking up less room than a car!

These are not the kids who hang out on other peoples stoops and don’t move when you open your door, if by chance they are on your stoop, they always move out of the way and apologize. These kids are not old enough to go to FDR park everyday so they have created their own park in our neighborhood where in all honesty they are safer because the entire neighborhood can keep an eye on them!

I have lived here with my husband for years directly across from Konrad Square and it amazes me that instead of dealing with the crack heads, drug dealers, and in general the SLOBS who ABUSE the park, the city has decided that these kids who made their own decision to stay out of trouble cannot skate in their own neighborhood, your kidding right?

We are lucky enough to have a beautiful park that is maintained regularly and provides pride and recreation for everyone in the area. I agree whole heartedly that it should be protected against vandals and miscreants but lets actually look at the parks problems and work together to solve them instead of cracking down on the kids who are simply enjoying the park and excercising, albeit in an non traditional way.

Rebecca Sloan
The Bald Mermaids

Dude, I’m so craving some foie gras.

savethemanatee.org

This one’s for all you fine folks who want to know how better to treat the manatees we run into every day here in Philly:

Animated Character Inspires Alec Baldwin to
Speak Out for Manatees

 
Amidst a busy, demanding schedule that rarely lets up for a moment, prominent Hollywood actor and producer Alec Baldwin set aside some time recently to help Florida’s imperiled manatees. Donating both his time and talent to Save the Manatee Club, the Golden Globe winner of NBC TV’s Emmy award-nominated comedy series 30 Rock, recorded several audio public service announcements in a Manhattan studio.

Save the Manatee Club had contacted Baldwin after The Simpson’s 2005 season opener, “Bonfire of the Manatees,” where he starred as the animated guest voice of “Caleb Thorn,” a biologist who is passionate about protecting manatees.  At the recording session, Baldwin remarked, “Who thought that, like my Caleb Thorn character, eventually I’d be saving manatees, too!”

Yeah, that’s cool and all, but when I went to the site, something else grabbed my attention: When Paul Vallas Jon Lithgow talks, people listen – or die. By the way, if anybody has his children’s book, my wallet’s open.

She let the dogs out.

microsquish.com

Dear Form-Letter Filler-Outers,

We appreciate the 100 emails about Pennsylvania and its puppy mills. So much so, in fact, that, if I get another 100 letters like I have in the past four hours, I may open one up myself and name it after Michael Vick.

XOXO,

Hickey 

Check out the never-ending letter after the jump. 

(more…)

This one just came over the email transom and boy am I hungry now:

Beheaded, Barbecued Christian Baby Served on Rice

 Read all about it after the jump. If you dare…

(more…)

Guns don't kill people … oh wait, yeah they do.

Homevideos.com

If this letter writer's account holds true, it's not even safe to go near the water:

My girlfriend and I swung by Great Plaza at Penn's Landing last night around twilight for the "Commerce Bank PRESENTS Screenings Under the Stars" showing of Jaws. The event was full of mostly families and young people relaxing on folding chairs or sitting on the steps leading up from the screen; seemed like a nice laid back atmosphere for an outdoor movie. Unfortunately, as the opening credits began to roll, a big, mean, ugly menacing looking character strolled up to a few paces from where we were situated, sat down on the steps, and readjusted his McNabb jersey to reveal the handle of what was unmistakably the handle of a revolver poking out of his back pocket. We immediately took a hike, and on the way out of the venue I thought to scan the crowd for a police officer to report what I cannot imagine to be a legal display of arms in public. None in sight. At a public gathering of probably 500 people, one might hope for at least one uniformed officer present. What is wrong with this picture?

Fresh off the letters-to-the-editor pile comes this heart-breaking tale of illicit sex-romp fields gone to pot. The name has been omitted to protect the horny:

I am writing to complain about The disapearance of black gay acres without any debate.

The brouhaha about the new skate park masks the fact that there will no longer be a place for gay men to cruise in. In addition to all the other gay men who have wandered down to the railroad tracks to see the sights. I never partook myself but I thought it was a beautiful place. It was the abandoned armpit of downtown philadelphia four bridges and the hidden valley below the art museum.

There were allways men hanging about and in the summer a few queens in bikini underwear getting the sun. The funniest time when I saw this guy dressed up as a boy scout and the scariest a man with a black visored motorcycle helmet and bloody hands all walking down beside the railroad tracks hanging out within the cool shadows under the bridges and overpasses. The straight world would stream to and from work and underneath another world unfolded.

(more…)