To start off my day, I received a Web site feedback e-mail that said simply:

Why don’t you show this and let the country know if you are selling us out

Followed by a link to the YouTube video entitled “IF YOU THINK OBAMA IS NOT MUSLIM WATCH THIS.”

It’s a 98-second clip of Muammar Gaddafi saying that the United States is a dictatorship and that Barack Obama is Muslim (and therefore good).

First off, if I take this at face value, are you saying the United States is a dictatorship? What does that make the Republican party, then?

Secondly, I do think I will let myself be swayed by this. Two years of presidential campaigning, four years as a U.S. senator, 12 years as a constitutional scholar, etc. All meanlngless!

I am going to believe Gaddafi (pick your own spelling).

So thank you, thank you, thank you for opening my eyes to the truth — from such a reliable source.

I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s a shame Muammar can’t run in a few years — he’s got a TON of executive experience. And does he ever know about dictatorships. And he can’t be all that bad, since George Bush’s administration lifted all sanctions on his regime, right?

The quaint, pre-Diamond Castle days.

This just in from our friends at Universal Studios Home Entertainment:

Universal City, CA, July 9, 2008 – For the first time ever, Barbie^TM teams up with best friend Teresa™ to co-star in a movie together, Barbie™ & The Diamond Castle, premiering exclusively on DVD on September 9, 2008, from Universal Studios Home Entertainment. An all-new princess tale with a modern musical twist, Barbie™ & The Diamond Castle is an exciting adventure that combines everything Barbie^™ fans love—best friends forever, contemporary music, adorable puppies, gorgeous dresses and sparkling gems—all in one magical, lavishly illustrated movie. A highly anticipated, must-own addition to any Barbie™ collection, Barbie ™ & The Diamond Castle is the first Barbie™ true best friends movie and the newest release in the successful Barbie™ Princess series. The delightfully rendered tale of friendship, empowerment and perseverance will have fans of all ages cheering and singing along with the unforgettable music each time they watch the movie. The DVD is priced at $19.95 SRP.

Now, it’s been 10 years since I’ve picked up a Barbie, but “adorable puppies, gorgeous dresses and sparkling gems” still sound like a good time. A damn good time. This might not be a “must-own,” but it’s nice to hear Barbie and friends are still living it up.

What I’m having trouble with are the special features:

MAGICAL BONUS FEATURES

Hilarious Bloopers from the Movie

Magical Music Video “Connected”

Sneak Peek of “Barbie™ In A Christmas Carol”

Trailer Gallery

How are there bloopers in an animated movie? Did they further distort her proportions in one scene? Draw her in flats?

Let’s just assume Barbie’s head pops off and Teresa’s dog gnaws at it just long enough to ensure that her neck will always be a little too short.

Take my public transportation system … PLEASE!

brownstoner.com

First it was our fabulous skyline, now it’s trashing our public transport system? Jeez, Brooklyn, what are you gonna claim for yourself next? The Liberty Bell? Cheesesteaks? Comcast’s cable monopoly? …Wait, you can totally have that last one.

A retired SEPTA trolley car had gone off to greener pasture to live in a vacant lot on Fourth Avenue in Park Slope, BK. All would have been fine for ol’ 2739 if the lot in where it resided hadn’t just been sold to a developer in the ever-gentrifying borough. Rather than sell the trolley so it could live out its days in a sparsely attended transportation museum, the city instead decided to simply throw it away. 

How’d this bad boy get to NYC in the first place? Who would seriously want a SEPTA car of their very own? Via the comments section of Brownstoner:

Owner here.

Trolley came to be there when we thought a diner would work well. SEPTA was selling, so we purchased it and brought it here. Neighborhood was much more problematic back then (1995) so it didn’t get much traction. For a time it was even in the adjacent Lyceum (when it went by its original name Public Bath #7).

Unfortunately the local architect we had used for the lot was not appropriate for that and other Lyceum related jobs. Litigation ensued and is still in progress.

The architect sold the trolley illegally (he isn’t the owner) to a group from Lancaster PA where they have thoughts of doing what Brooklyn can’t or won’t do, implement light rail. When they came to take it away (Jan 25, 2008) we were here and let them know it wasn’t the architect’s to sell. They gave us a bill of sale and a canceled check. We immediately went to court to enjoin the architect from any more shenanigans. Judge heard oral arguments in chambers with no court reporter, parties, press or public present. Then, 98 days later, judge finds against us in a decision that we believe is faulty.

Once that decision came in, architect hired scrappers to cut it up. On this past Tuesday we went back to court for an injunction. Same judge happened to be on the bench. Gave us seven days to remove it.

We will be appealing the decision. Hopefully in time to save old number 2739.

Alas, the owner’s efforts were in vain. Apparently, though, some Brooklynites are pissed at at the destruction of a “landmark.” “A terrible shame to see that go away like that, unloved,” says one commenter on the Gowanus Lounge. Dude, it died like it lived.

Look, Brooklyn, stop your whining. We have to deal with SEPTA on a daily basis, so we should be the only ones to rightfully shit on it. Take it from us, you want no part of it. You’ve got a good thing going with the MTA. You don’t want public transport that stops running when it’s too hot, too cold or slightly windy outside and can’t even get their Philly “places of interest” straight. Quit the bitching and go build another condo.

Thanks to CP alum Ted Hesson for the tip!

Short notice on this, I know, but the Bush Legacy Tour is at the Natty Constitution Center NOW

The shit-talk express? The talk-out-of-both-sides-of-your-stupid-face express?

www.americansunitedforchange.org

45-foot, 28 ton Museum on Wheels Makes Latest Stop on National Tour as Local Labor Leaders Hold Rep. Jim Gerlach Accountable for Enabling Disastrous Bush/Conservative Policies That Have Harmed Our National Security, Ruined the Economy and Sacrificed Key Domestic Priorities

Washington D.C. - In what supporters of the President have dubbed his “legacy year,” Americans United for Change, the progressive issue-advocacy group best known for leading the successful fight to beat back President Bush’s effort to privatize Social Security in 2005, has hit the road its latest effort, the Bush Legacy Bus: a 45-foot long, 28 ton, clean bio-diesel powered museum on wheels featuring several interactive exhibits on how two terms of failed conservative policies supported by Bush and his allies — including Sens. John McCain and U.S. Rep. Jim Gerlach - have weakened America’s security abroad while neglecting and undermining important priorities here at home.

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This just in:

I’d like to start by saying how much I love the improvements to Franklin Square Park. It’s been part of my walking commute for years and has become one of the favorite parts of my day. With summer here, there is now a huge problem of cars illegally parking on the sidewalk on the eastern side of the park. Often times cars will park diagonally across the sidewalk, forcing pedestrians into the street. This is especially frustrating for me because it means pushing a baby in a stroller down 6th street. It extremely dangerous. The other day my son was riding his bike down the sidewalk when a car came driving down the sidewalk toward him to pull in with the other parked cars. I should not have to worry about my kids being hit by cars driving on the sidewalk. It may be the "best park for kids", but that is only if your kids survive the trip.

Meters have been added on 6th Street all the way to Callowhill Street. The meters would certainly see more use during the day if cars couldn’t illegally park closer to the city for free. Why spend so much time and money making the park so beautiful only to use the surrounding sidewalk as a parking lot?

Michael Krumrine

Dedication of Bio-composting Toilet CANCELLED! 

Philadelphia May, 2008 — The Friends of the Wissahickon has cancelled the dedication of the bio-composting toilet on Forbidden Drive in Wissahickon Valley Park on May 29. The event will be re-scheduled for a date in June, 2008.

That’s the whole press release. Any guesses what happened?

Got a piece of mail today, from someone at 1001 Lev-terriblehandwriting-hen Road, Philadelphia PA, 19128, to my attention.

Inside was a special treat: clips from the pages of our paper, one strategically placed atop the other, decoupaged to torn Domino Sugar Package boxes. Whoever can best guess what this craftsman meant to convey by sending this to me wins a prize.

I’m not sure I can deal with a toilet paper bus before noon:

Cottonelle’s "Be Kind to Your Behind Tour" is coming through Philly today. You can catch the "puppy bus" at the Convention Center between 11 a.m. and 6 p.m. for massages and exercise demos, and then at surprise locations Friday and Saturday. Says Cottonelle:

Although 81% of Americans agree that they deserve a little comfort everyday, few (10%) are afforded the pampering they need. And when it comes to pampering, a certain body part routinely falls to the bottom of the list: 94 percent dish out kindness everywhere but their behinds.

This most certainly does not qualify as bootylicious.

Responses to my initial Editor’s Letter were generally positive. But you can’t please everyone. Especially the old-timey folks at Franklin Fountain, who, it would seem, long for more than just the tonics and confections of a simpler time — but also the language. They take umbrage, i assume, at my colloquial use of the "S" word to describe the City Paper.

Your objection is noted, gentlemen.

 

Barbara Tarvydas writes in response to our call for inexpensive tips for home improvement:

I have a barbeque that I’m not using and turned it into a small desk. I put a square board on top and use the space inside to store office supplies.

I also have a table with one shelf and used an individual drawer from neighbors’ discards and put the drawer into the table space. Fits perfectly.

Thanks Barbara!

For more quick-and-easy tips for enhancing your abode, check Jason Tomassini’s guide on the cover of this week’s City Paper.

Well, we’ll have a new mayor-elect by the time our next issue comes out, which makes it rather illogical to run any Nutter/Taubenberger related letters then. So, here are a couple that we’ve received in recent days. (Vote Milton):

The police commissioner is a really nice guy, but under his watch, the city is a “war zone.” He should not say Nutter’s plan won’t work, because I feel Johnson’s plan hasn’t worked. Any plan would be better than what is currently being used now. Another thing: keep the race crap out of the story. All people will be subject to the stop and frisk plan. If more minorities are arrested after being searched then it must mean that more minorities are walking around Philadelphia carrying a weapon! I firmly believe Nutter’s brain is working in the right direction [Cover, “Congrats, Mayor Nutter,” Tom Namako and Doron Taussig, Oct. 25, 2007]. He will do what is necessary to lower the crime rate. Give him a chance. Maybe after Nutter gets things straightened out, I will feel safe again when visiting the city. I may even leave my gun at home. William Chippendale Warrington, Bucks County

Until this week I, a lifelong Republican voter, was going to vote for Nutter for mayor because I liked him so much in the primary and since then. But this week, he gratuitously inserted into a campaign ad a picture of Bush and Cheney saying that Philadelphia deserves better. What do they have to do with this city’s problems? It was a cheap shot and ugly of Mr. Nutter to do this. I am sad to say that I will not be voting for Mr. Nutter for mayor, after all. He is less of a man than I thought he was. I have not been as displeased with Bush and Cheney as he seems to be. Whoever is mayor, I hope he is as successful as that pair has been in keeping us safe. Certainly Street has nothing to brag about in this department. Janet Cantor Northeast Philadelphia

 

Marrazzo

glenspringfield.com

Presented here, in its entirety, a letter from "A Group of Dedicated WHYY Employees" to their uber-paid CEO and President William J. Marrazzo. Seems things still aren’t all that happy over on Sesame Street (and special thanks to new CP Intern Eileen Talone for transcribing all five typed pages. Atta gal):

September 1, 2007

An open letter to William J. Marrazzo, CEO and President, WHYY

Dear Mr. Marrazzo,

We are a group of WHYY employees with an accumulation of 109 years of service. Many of us have worked for a number of CEOs over the years, but never has someone with your title and responsibilities impacted the company in such an adverse way. You have displayed a serious lack of understanding when it comes to creating an environment that is conducive to a healthy work place.

This letter is to inform you of the growing negative climate created during your ten years as CEO. Your lack of leadership has contributed to an atmosphere of low morale, virtually no teamwork or cooperation between departments, and an overwhelming feeing of distrust between senior management and the rest of the company.
 
Under your direction, the ability to get things done in a speedy and timely fashion has slowed to a snail’s pace. You and Bruce Flamm, CFO/COO have created a workplace filled with anxiety, trepidation, and despair when it comes to getting any funding or budgets approved. This attitude has negatively affected our company in a variety of ways. You and Mr. Flamm have instilled a culture that never existed prior to your arrival. During your tenure, there has been a common saying among our staff—“That’s just the way it is around here.”

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Last year we brought you the story of Jonathan Lee Riches, a guest at the Federal Correctional Institution Williamsburg in Salters, S.C. who had come to our attention when he filed a law suit in Philly in which he was suing, well, everyone and everything he could think of. 

The list went a little something like this: George W. Bush, Hillary Rodham Clinton, James Hoffa, www.google.com, Pope Benedict XVI, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, John Deere, www.accuweather.com, Adolf Hitler’s National Socialist Party, Roc-A-Fella Records, Shawn Carter (doing business at Jay-Z), Japan’s Nikkei Stock Exchange, Gambino (crime family), Three Mile Island, Tony Danza, Islamic Republic of Iran, University of Miami, GEICO Insurance, Jewish State of Israel, Soledad O’Brien, Tsunami victims, The American Red Cross, Jessica Alba…

It’s good reading, and you can download a pdf of the full defendant list here. 

Then, a couple weeks ago, we received the attached letter from Riches: "I filed numerous other lawsuits throughout the country and I’m filing more soon…"  The list includes JLR v. Defcon; JLR vs. Uniform Commercial Code; and JLR v. Government Snitches and Informants Inc.

Well, he wasn’t kidding. Last week, our piece on Riches shot to the top of our most popular stories on the strength of Google searches on his name.

Turns out one of Riches’ other suits, JLR v. Michael Vick — wherein Riches accuses Vick of, among other things, pledging allegiance to al Qaeda, stealing his identity to sell shirts and mugs, and subjecting him to microwave testing — got picked up by the national media (and this blog who linked to our pdf without even crediting us! It’s called netiquette, people!)

no skate zone

phila.gov

From: "Bald Mermaid"
Subject: NO SKATEBOARDING IN KONRAD SQUARE PARK?

Recently there has been an injustice committed in Konrad Square Park. I am not referring to the, unfortunately, everyday occurrences of drug abuse and dealings, the unruly mobs that often rumble there or the blatant disregard for a clean and sanitary recreation space. The horrible offense I speak of was apparently skateboarding, or in my eyes, the banning of skateboarding.

Who decided that the few kids in the neighborhood that are not out getting into trouble should be punished? Were there that many complaints against the skating that action had to be taken? I find that hard to believe since just recently a group of 14 year old girls were busted for selling drugs and nothing else has been done to curb that more serious problem.

The kids being punished are the kids who arent breaking into cars and houses, who arent doing drugs, who arent hurting anyone! These skateboarders do not damage the benches or flower beds (unlike other children and adults who run loose in the park pulling flowers and tagging any surface they can) because they have their own ramp and rail! Usually when they are done they either drag the ramp to it’s storage space, gratefully donated by a neighbor or if they can’t store it for the night, they put it along the curb in a "parking space", taking up less room than a car!

These are not the kids who hang out on other peoples stoops and don’t move when you open your door, if by chance they are on your stoop, they always move out of the way and apologize. These kids are not old enough to go to FDR park everyday so they have created their own park in our neighborhood where in all honesty they are safer because the entire neighborhood can keep an eye on them!

I have lived here with my husband for years directly across from Konrad Square and it amazes me that instead of dealing with the crack heads, drug dealers, and in general the SLOBS who ABUSE the park, the city has decided that these kids who made their own decision to stay out of trouble cannot skate in their own neighborhood, your kidding right?

We are lucky enough to have a beautiful park that is maintained regularly and provides pride and recreation for everyone in the area. I agree whole heartedly that it should be protected against vandals and miscreants but lets actually look at the parks problems and work together to solve them instead of cracking down on the kids who are simply enjoying the park and excercising, albeit in an non traditional way.

Rebecca Sloan
The Bald Mermaids