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The Clog. The City Paper Staff Blog
City Paper's Staff Blog

Archive for the 'Arts' Category



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August 22

J.C.V.D. coming to America to roundhouse kick you in the crotch

What would J.C.V.D. do?
variety.com

Are you ready for the greatest movie of all time? Actually, scientists have done hours upon hours of fake research proving that it’s impossible to be ready for how awesome this movie is going to be. Yeah, that’s right, people, J.C.V.D. found an American distributor and will (fingers crossed) be hitting a theater near you.

J.C.V.D. is, of course, the return to movie screens for Best Actor Ever Jean Claude Van Damme, star of such classics as The Quest, Timecop and Bloodsport. Here’s what you have to look forward to according to Variety:

“JCVD” stars the Brussels Muscles as himself, who returns to his hometown licking the wounds of a tanking career. He gets involved in a hostage situation, whereby the muscles are re-introduced.

Okay, hyperbole and admittedly frightening fascination aside, this movie is actually supposed to be pretty good. Variety has Rob Nelson’s review (he’s a legit film critic) from the Cannes film fest where it premiered:

Van Damme is back! Combined with recent news that the Muscles from
Brussels will soon turn auteur with “Full Love,” Gaumont’s “JCVD,” a
French-language meta-movie parody par excellence, constitutes the
headiest stretch of the beefy star’s career since, well, ever. Playing
“himself,” i.e., an international action stud whose bruising child
custody battle has him literally going postal , exec-producing
Jean-Claude Van Damme reveals heretofore hidden third dimension to his
monosyllabic persona.

Ho-hum hostage crisis mayhem serves to buttress co-scripting helmer
Mabrouk El Mechri’s more experimental stunts, including a tonally
opposite pair of longish takes — one a wonderfully absurd ode to
star’s martial-arts moves, the other a tear- and prayer-filled Van
Damme monologue that must be seen to be believed. An adventurous U.S.
minimajor could reap modest B.O. following a June 4 French release.

Check out the super-meta trailer below:

Via Vulture


August 20

Am I the baddest mofo lowdown around this town? Sho’nuff!

haacked.com

The Shogun of Harlem is dead.

Actor Julius Carrey, who played the Sho’nuff in the ridiculous(ly awesome) 1985 movie The Last Dragon, passed away yesterday at 56. Produced by Motown head honcho Berry Gordy, The Last Dragon follows Leroy Green (aka Bruce Leroy) on his quest for “The Glow,” which will make him the greatest fighter in the world. Sho’nuff is his arch-nemesis who gets to say things like, “Kiss my converse.” Carrey is the best part of the movie, hamming it up any chance he gets. Check out highlights below:


August 14

Nutter Wild for Wilder

Reasons to go see nonstop chucklefest Young Frankenstein tonight at the Schuylkill Banks:

1) That scene where Gene Wilder goes, “What knockers!”
2) It’s free.
3) Michael Nutter’s gonna be there.

Wha? From the press release:

On Thursday, Aug. 14, at 7:30 PM, Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter will yuck it up with hundreds of Mel Brook fans for the screening of Young Frankenstein. This 1974 film featured the collective comedic genius’ of Gene Wilder, Peter Boyle and Marty Feldman, and quickly became a cult classic.

Maybe he’s trying to win back some cred after attending the premiere of all-around poopy Sex and the City?

I went to one of these Schuylkill movie things a few years back and it was all smelly breezes and messed-up DVDs, but it looks like they’ve learned a few things — promising free pretzels, popcorn, ice cream and goodies courtesy of IKEA (meatballs?! pleasepleaseplease).


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City Paper (alum) gets a movie deal!

Loyal City Paper readers remember Duane Swierczynski as our erstwhile EIC.

Via Variety:

Lionsgate
has acquired the Duane Swierczynski novel “Severance Package” and has
hired helmer Brett Simon (”Assassination of a High School President”)
to write the script with the author and direct.

Marc Platt and Adam Siegel will produce the action comedy.

The
protag is a media relations director of a financial company who learns
that the firm was a front for a covert intelligence agency that is
being shut down immediately, with every manager scheduled to be
terminated–literally. The novel is a recipe for a Tarantino-esque,
stylistically violent film, and it was discovered by Marc Platt Prods.
prexy Siegel and Lionsgate veep Jim Miller. Novel was published May 27 by St. Martin’s Minotaur.

Nice!


August 13

Cheesesteak Anthropomorphologist: The Philadelphia Personification Experiment

Jim Horwat

Had an e-mail chat with artist Jim Horwat, creator of the Cheesteak prints we hipped you to a few weeks back. He was kind enough to answer our questions, and send some much nicer-looking versions of the prints.

Do you have plans to continue this series?
Yes, there’s definitely solid plans to continue with new prints in the
“Philadelphia Personification Experiment”. The big three cheesesteak prints
were my first venture with this last fall and the response to these has
been nothing short of encouraging.

What do you plan to caricature next?
The Trocadero Theatre and Tattooed Moms are next in line. I feel they
are sacred to the Philadelphia experience and the buildings themselves
have so much character. For many people these places trigger fantastic
memories. (When I was a teenager the Troc was seriously my Mecca.)

What drew you to depict the cheesesteak places?
This whole idea actually germinated from a visit I had last summer to
Detroit. My pop-culture brain was stuck there on the movie “Robocop” —
abandoned factories, scrap metal and chemical plants everywhere. It was
a little bit depressing, but on the flipside Philly is so different. It
has “Rocky” and cheesesteaks… and these make you feel good! I am
gracious to live here because I know Philly is a great city.

Do you have a favorite cheesesteak in the city?
I think the whole cheesesteak thing here is really more about the unique atmosphere/experience and that is why they are all rightly successful. That being said, my personal favorite is Pats.

We’re also quite fond of Horwat’s Fightin Phils piece. He tells us to keep our eyes open for another sports-related piece in the not-too-distant future.

(more…)




Mickey Rourke will pile drive you to death

Rourke at New Alhambra
City Paper | Scott Weiner

Remember a couple months ago A.D. had the skinny on The Wrestler, which was shot at the New Alhambra in South Philly? The kids over at /film have the first promo pics of the Darren Aronofsky (Pi, Requiem for Dream) flick.

/film describes The Wrestler thusly:

Aronofsky’s The Wrestler tells the story of a old professional wrestler (Mickey Rourke) barely making a living on the independent circuit, who is told by a doctor that he could die if he wrestles again. It’s a film which attempts to do for wrestling what Rocky did for boxing. Marisa Tomei plays a stripper friend named Cassidy and Evan Rachel Wood plays his estranged daughter Stephanie.

Even though they admit to the connection between this movie and our city’s ultimate hero, but doesn’t that sound exactly like a combination of Rocky and Rocky V? Like, add Paulie and a pain-in-the-ass Adrian and this movie could win an Oscar.

The Wrestler premieres at the Toronto Film Fest next month.


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August 11

“Even great men have to pee.”

They don’t make ‘em like Walter Matthau anymore — the curmedgeonly guy, sans movie star looks, who seemed old even in his prime but remains totally watchable and charming. Nor do they make movies like The Taking of Pelham One Two Three anymore. It’s a cop-action-thriller, with little in the way of cops, action or thrill. But it’s also hilarious, tightly written and one of the best portrayals of city on a film.

A group of master criminals, all using color aliases (why, hello, Reservoir Dogs) and led by the icy, dryly witty Mr. Blue (Robert Shaw — the badass sea captain who gotten eaten in Jaws), take the six train hostage. Matthau, playing a transit cop who actually looks like a transit copy, must foil their plan before the city loses the $1,000,000 ransom (oh, the ’70s!). There are no huge explosions to speak of, Matthau doesn’t do any crazy stunts and he does most of his detective work away from the hijacked train. But it’s a testament to how well Pelham is made that it remains engrossing throughout.

And now you can watch it for free! Hulu just put it up in its entirety. Check it out after the jump or go here.

(more…)


August 9

Fun is fun, jokes is jokes: RIP Bernie Mac

“Comedian-actor Bernie Mac died early Saturday morning from complications due to pneumonia, his publicist has confirmed.”


August 7

Monsters of Miami on Current TV

Before coming to the City Paper, I worked as a reporter for the Miami New Times, where I broke the news that sex offenders had been sent by their probation officers to live under a bridge. The story was picked up by the AP and carried in most major U.S. newspapers. Later, I wrote an in-depth