Staff Blog
Demon Weed, Be Gone!
 |
| How long's it been since you had a nice burn, Vincie? |
| NBC-10 |
The text from a co-worker at 8:49 p.m. read, "Tonight on NBC10: why 4:20 p.m. may be the most dangerous time for your kid." He was serious. So I watched NBC10 to see what I could learn.
Turns out, if you can believe this, that those crazy, crazy kids apparently consider 4:20 p.m. the perfect time to smoke marijuana (which some of them call "weed" or "maryjane;" they may smoke it through an instrument called a "bowl," "pipe" or "bong") Having somehow stumbled across this amazing scoop, I'll let NBC-10 Super Reporter Tim Furlong take it from here, because my mind is thoroughly blown.
"You may disagree," Furlong started, "but I consider myself a relatively hip guy..."
"...but I'm not going to lie to you. I had no idea about what 4:20 was all about until" he started researching this story after which he learned that it could be the most dangerous of the 1,440 minutes in a day.
Hip. So, so hip
"I ask you, do you know what the significance of 4:20 is?"
He then asked the two dudes in Philly who didn't know what it meant and put them on camera, to the likely ridicule of anybody who knows them before going back into Woodstein mode. But instead of taking down Nixon, Furlong found a random dude named Evan in rehab who broke it all down for the parents of Philadelphia.
"It's one of those 'we know about it and you don't' things."
You know, like the men's bathroom double-toe-tap.
"It's considered the best time of the day to get high."
What time is it now?
From there, Furlong broke down the fact that April 20 is "something of a pot-smoker's holiday," and that 4:20 references appeared, in all places, in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Pulp Fiction. (The horror!) Then, he enlisted the help of a counsellor, who told all 10 viewers that kids as young as 8, 9, 10 years old are getting high! And that parents need to start paying attention to the lingo their kids throw around, because it might mean they're peddling mescaline to orphans or raping the animals in the petting zoo.
Finally, Evan told Furlong that he's happy he went to rehab because otherwise, he'd "be dead."
Because weed is deadly now!
All I'm sayin' is Bravo, Channel 10. A true high point - get it, Tim, "high"? - for broadcast journalism. But why, why, why don't you have the segment available on your Web site. We got ourselves some children to save!!!
URGENT 10:18 A.M. UPDATE: THE STORY'S UP ON THEIR SITE. CHECK IT.
Coming next week: Some women sell their bodies for money, but did you know they may be spreading genital warts!?!"
April 20th… a holiday. What a novel idea. Why not add the Monday prior to the 20th to the list of celebratory 3-day-weekend holidays? At 4:20PM on that Monday everyone can have a moment of reflection as the zip-zip sound of igniting lighters fill the air. NBC 10 can have a contest to name the holiday. (unless they are too busy working on their next big story… “Birth is the Largest Cause of Death”)
Furlong’s new “Life” series of “special reports” is so lame it put me off watching NBC10 news. I switched over to channel 6 and realized what real news is - or at least, something way closer to not insulting my intelligence.
Furlong was not the only thing - NBC overdramatizes, leads with shamelessly exploitive stories reported in a breathless but brainless style, saying nothing with many words.
I watch lots of NBC shows, so NBC news was what I kept the dial tuned to. But it’s soooo bad now … I see why that news has been in 3rd place for so long.
Where is there a 4:20 reference in Fast Times? I’ve seen this movie like a million times since it came out, and until now I thought …
Wait a sec, what was I just saying?
I love how “Going Green” is a story on that hip stations website, right next to the video.
Actually, I didn’t notice either of those movie references. Must’ve been too, um, distracted.
And wait, there’s no birthday party for me in here.
Having had several friends overdose on deadly marijuana, I know how deadly it can be. If only some hip newscasters had let my friends’ parents know about this deadly time of day, things wouldn’t have turned out so deadly.
That’s horrific, Johnny, but I know your pain. The evil, evil marijuana practically wiped out my entire hometown one April. I’ll cry myself to sleep again tonight, foresaking the God that didn’t make Timmy available to us until now. The lives that could’ve been saved, even if just Evan showed up, y’know?
It’s 3:20 here in Philly… does that mean that teenagers in Iceland are firing up now?
Note that this segment was preceded by a piece on Paris Hilton including an interview with the heir-ass. Praise the coke queen. Damn hemp. I was going to say something else, but I totally forgot what it was…
I don’t mind the forgettin’ anymore… You get used to it. What bothers me is… is… um…
[...] [...]