Staff Blog
It’s Over
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My friends might disagree, but I know when to throw in the towel. With the news of Cole Hamels' elbow ouchie, leaving exactly one (the Ancient Mariner, Jamie Moyer) of the six starting pitchers the Phillies started the season with in the rotation, I'm gonna come out and say that there's just. no. way. the team can overcome this. Unless, y'know, Chase Utley goes reverse Ankiel and starts snapping off wicked curve balls. Or if the brass wakes up and realizes that you kind of have to put your team's second best starting pitcher, current closer Brett Myers, in the rotation when your staff ace is suddently Kyle Kendrick.
Anyway, it's been a fun season, but I don't think Hamels' injury qualifies as Shakabuku. Is there a word for a quick, spiritual kick to the nuts? And because maybe I don't know when to throw in the towel, I'm seriously considering going all Hickey on y'all and pulling for the Cubs.
The force is strong with you, young Howard.
You’re seriously considering pulling a Hickey? Pathetic nonsense. One, cross yourself off as being a Philly fan. Two, I’m calling in the hounds, including Sabatini.
Although I do agree that it is very gloomy that the ace is out for some time lets be honest with each other here, it is not over. It wasnt over when howard was on the DL, it wasnt over when chase AND victorino AND bourn went on the DL in the same week, it wasnt over when 3/5 of the rotation went on the DL so why would it be over now? I agree it doesnt look good, but if anyone could do it that team is the Phitin Phils! A teams like San Diego, the Dodgers, Miliwaukee etc would be done but not a team that can put up 10 runs easy. By the way they have been winning with slop in the rotation and they are now getting utley and victorino back. Missing those two guys they are STILL ahead of the Cubs. Pitching wins championships but batting gets to the playoffs. Dont believe me? Just ask the New York Yankees of the past 5 years.
I can’t believe he is injured too. This is ridiculous. I can understand one key player being injured, but this is just insanely bad luck right now.
To go and start rooting for another team - that’s just disgusting. You should only hate the cubs, and any other team in the mix, even more right now because you know their chances of going farther than us just increased. Of course I probably should be careful with the use of “us” in the previous sentence - I don’t think you should be categorized with other Phillies fans if you’re going to jump ship because of more poop hitting the fan.
P.S. this is real bad news for my company because I have a lot of work to do this afternoon, but I have the distinct feeling that a large percentage of my time will be devoted to banter here.
Again I will chime in with the only comment needed to solve this nonsense that is being written.
J.D. DURBIN
you can do another write up tomorrow when he dominates the dodgers tonight.
REAL DEAL DURBIN OUT
Please refer to them as the “first-place Cubs” in all future posts. (At least through the end of action today)
Thanks for talking me off the ledge, everyone. My faith wavered momentarily (I mean, how many injuries can one team take). But I’ve survived 27 years of baseball’s equivalent of the thumbscrew (aka being a Phillies fan). Hopefully you’ll forgive me my moment of doubt.
You are forgiven. It is understandable to have such thoughts in times like these. The key is you didn’t act on those thoughts, like one Brian Hickey.
You are allowed to doubt. You are allowed to boo. You are even allowed to describe in detail “how they’ll lose”. But you are not, under any circumstance, allowed to switch your allegiance to another team, especially as a means to finding a silver lining. Your silver lining as a Philly sports fan? That you’re not a god forsaken Mets, Cubs, Boston, or any other crap team/town’s (or in the case of anything Texan, state) fan.
that’s “god forsaken first-place Cubs.”
Well, I am something of a closet Red Sox fan. They’re my third-favorite team, after the Phils and the A’s. My A’s fandom has less do to with the fact that they trace their roots to Philly than it has to do with how well Billy Beane’s run the club with no money for the last decade and those too-awesome unis and mustaches in the 60s. I justify my soft spot for the Sox in that it stems from an intense hatred of the Yankees. I’m sure you can all appreciate/excuse that.
The Yankees are my AL team. Screw the Red Sox. What a bunch of whiners. Of course they are doing great now, but what sore losers they were for about 10 years before winning that world series. And yet, everyone just loves them.
See, Paul, we Cubs fans just take our 99-year losing streak and bury it deep down inside. Kind of like Buscemi in Happy Gilmore with his kill list that nobody else knows about. Except, in our case, there’s one name and one name alone on there: Bartman.
By the way, F- the Yankees. You’ve just surrendered all rights to criticize.
First of all the Steve Buscemi charecter you speak of was in Billy Madison not Happy Gilmore. That statement is everything that is wrong with Cubs fans, Bartman is the enemy. The real enemy should be the shortstop alex gonzalez for making the error right after that, or the Cubs bullpen who couldnt protect a lead, or Kerry Wood for not being able to nail down game 7 at Wrigley. Bartman did a stupid thing, yes. But find me one person who in the same situation wouldnt do the same thing. And who knows if alou would have really caught it. I lose so much respect for Cubs fans when they blame that guy for their misfortune or a stupid Billy Goat. Cubs fans desperately try to be like Red Sox fans and try to make up curses to why they dont win. I mean Yo Choch, maybe the teams havent won cause they werent good enough.
Yeah, I realized that driving in this morning. (As I debated myself on which was better, Madison or Gilmore. I decided Madison.)
True, they totally crumbled after that. But here’s my thing: Would Gonzalez have had a chance to make that error if Douchey McHeadphones stayed home that night? Nope. Because Alou WOULD have caught it, which would’ve gotten Wood’s tired arm out of the game (After all, Grady Little wasn’t coaching them), which would’ve put the Cubs in the Series, at which point they’d have probably found an even more extravant way to blow it all. (Like, say, a walk-off homer in Game 6 Oh wait …)
Cubs fans don’t try to be like Red Sox fans. This, because Red Sox fans are arrogant morons for whom there’s a special place in hell.
And curses are real. Like the one I just put on Rick Ankiel.
There are only 2 teams in baseball by my recollection that whine about curses as the reason why they hadnt won championships 1) Red Sox 2) Cubs. They both cant look at the obvious that they werent good enough… WAAAAAAA steve bartman touched a baseball WAAAAAAA we choked against the padres in 86 WAAAAAAAA they wont let a billy goat in the stadium… It makes the fans stupid and childlike. The White Sox hadnt won a series since 1919 you didnt hear them saying there was a curse on them. Thats why Philadelphia fans arent wimps cause we just realize our teams arent good enough and get mad at management and each other.
Curse of Billy Penn, anyone?
I would love to know what jackass first coined this Curse of Billy Penn and when. I don’t think you can call the drought a “curse” when it’s 20 years young, compared to the 90-year old Bambino and Billy Goat ones. I do not support it and quite frankly, don’t know any real Philly fans who do. Bandwagon fans and maybe some City Hall PR whores who love draping Billy with a jersey/hat, yes.
It’s 20 years young, sure, but it’s city-wide. While the Red Sox and Cubs went championshipless, the Patriots, Celtics, Bears and Bulls all won. No one in this town has won jack since that old gentleman’s agreement was sullied. Not that I necessarily believe in the curse myself, but the 24 years since the Sixers won has been darker in that the winlessness has been spread over four major sports teams.
I guess you don’t consider the Phantoms as part of this “curse”? Or that kid who won Project Runway?
It’s crap nonetheless and I can’t even half-heartedly entertain any support of it, as doing so implies that Philly would be better off without its skyscrapers and the businesses in them.
I’m done with this thread until they’re properly referred to as “the first-place Cubs.”
A little late in the game/day to be chiming in, but I can’t help myself. Kudos, Matt, for pointing out the whineyness (yes I’ll take credit for that word, thank you) of the Red Sox and Cubs, and for so keenly liking them to children. Yankees fans, on the other hand, are not like children. And the Yankees are the greatest sports franchise ever. So I do not believe I lose any right to criticize for respecting the Yankees organization. If they play the Phillies in the World Series, I will not root for the Yankees because so-and-so is injured on the Phillies, like you probably would, Hickey. In fact, the only team I would turn on in that situation is the Yankees - I would go from liking them to disliking them (but still respecting them) - while playing against the Phils (oh what an awesome world series that would be).
And there is no curse on Philadelphia, just like there were/are no curses on Boston and Chitown. Besides the fact that there is no such thing as a curse, Matt is once again right in pointing out that going championship-less has everything to do with not having good enough teams. And that’s why Philly fans are awesome. We recognize that and will point it out Then we simply vent our frustration by ridiculing beating up fans of other teams.
I’d just like to point out that this whole first-place Cubs/Phillies mess started when I’d noted that the first-place Cubs hat I retired after wearing it for 22 YEARS had given way to a new first-place Cubs hat that has the Cubs - you got it - in first place.
I’ve never turned on anything; I’ve always been the beacon of sanity in this sea of almost-rans. In fact, the Phillies should be licking my feet in return for my even having watched them. (Before you ask, it’s 2-1 in the title contest).
I can only presume the Yankees are your back-up team because it’s nice to have a championship every once in a while? Or is it simply because we like supporting the “greatest”?
Oh, and Paul B, I just got done performing a little something-some with a squirrel, Jaegermeister, Whiz and some incense.
Consider yourself cursed.
Your presumption is bogus. If I supported a team simply to “have a championship every once in a while”, I would also support teams like the Patriots and the Red Wings. But I don’t. I support the Yankees because they have unparalleled tradition and mystique. They are the reason baseball is baseball. You have to embrace that (even if it doesn’t seem to make sense after typing it). Quite simply put - they are really cool. Unlike the Red Sox - who are hypocrites, by the way. I love how just a few years ago everyone was hating the Yankees because they were going to extreme measures to sign great players. Everyone was saying how they “bought” championships. Well, not only has it been proven to be un-true that you can “buy” a championship, but the Red Sox are now doing exactly the same thing. What did they offer that foreign pitcher in the offseason? I don’t remember the figure exactly but I know it was insane. The same thing that they ridiculed the Yankees for doing all those years, they are doing now. Hmmm. Interesting. Sounds like some children decided to grow up and realize that they were hating the player and not the game for too many years. Now they’re deciding to man-up and play the game. I’m sure they’ll find something else to whine about, though, the next time things don’t go their way.
“they are really cool”? Somebody just landed on the dead-to-me list.
Paul is write and I mean me and him have discussed this. I used to like the Red Sox in my younger years before America had a rated XXX lovefest with the team. All the sudden they are “America’s team” Get the heck out of here. This whole curse nonsense is a cheap way to get the name out for guess what… A PROFIT… hats, clothing, bumper stickers, license plate all that nonsense. And if you dont believe it then you are nieve and stupid. Boston is such a hypocritical town for what Paul said. They whine and whine and whine about how the Yankees are the “evil empire” and just buy championships. Yo Ace, last time I looked the Red Sox were the team that put up 50 million dollars JUST TO HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK TO matsuzaka. So all in all they paid 100 million dollars+ on a pitcher that sounds fair and “Un-evil empire esk.” I was in Boston this past weekend and their real fans are great “baseball” fans. They know the game and all but something funny happened as i left fenway. I went up to a street stand with baseball shirts… The man was selling 6 shirts… 1 Red Sox shirt and 5 negative yankees shirts. Get a life serioulsy. I once told my friend from Boston that I looked at Boston (and this pertains to Chicago fans also) as spoiled brats: They whine and whine about the Red Sox never winning a world series and think life is tough… oh wait no team has won more championships the the celtics, the patriots were a dynasty (and still are) and the bruins have multiple championships. The same goes for Chicago fans, the bears won in the 80s and Michael Jordan… enough said… Spoiled Brats. Win
Christ, stop lumping first-place Cubs fans in with the dirtbag Sox. If I was a Bears or Bulls fan, I’d understand where it’s coming from. But I’m not. I’m actually a Cubs fan in a town where nothing’s won in 24 years. Hadn’t T.D. come along for Elway (twice), I’d have jumped off the Walt Whitman by now.
The only thing that I could imagine being worse would be having a Yankees hat on my head.
Im not saying Cubs fans are as bad as Red Sox fans cause in my experience they are not. Although Id imagine if I was in the Middle of the country I could feel differently. The reason they get lumped together is because they are the only two whcih celebrate “curses” and part of their mystique is their losing years. The yanks mistique is their 27 world championships and their unreal players. The Red Sox and the Cubs mystique is their losing mentality and years of futility. Im not saying YOUR a bad cubs fan or all red sox are bad fans cause they are but its the mentality that detracts me. As long as your not a blood sucking cowboys fan its fine with me… yes, cowboys fans do suck blood
Well put, Matt. Well put.
Hickey - the Yankees are really, really cool, and you know it. They’re even cooler than the A’s mustaches (but not as cool as the Phillies mullets).
Remember, please, it’s “first-place Cubs.”
And since we’re getting into hair and whatnot, I mean, let’s keep it real: It begins and ends with Rollie Fingers.
Oh, and Hickey, by the way - I put you on my Never-Born-To-Me list as soon as I read your profession of love for the Cubs. And I wrote it in INK, son.
Nice list.
I can’t wait for the end of the season when I can remind you every day that it’s still the “didn’t-win-the world-series cubs”
Paul B. — you can just refer to them as the “not gonna win the world series cubs”. No need to wait.
Oh, believe you me, I know the inevitable will soon manifest itself, though I’ll constantly retort that they’re actually the “won-one-more-World-Series-than-the-Phillies” Cubs.
As for the list, ink’s good, bro. But it’s not as good as the Morandini blood I scribble mine in.
I hear ya about the 60s/early 70s oaktown A’s where skin was literally the enemy. They wanted hair everywhere. And Rollies Stach is legendary, but is there anything more rebellious then having a little business on the side and party in the back?… http://media.scout.com/Media/NHL/375005_williamsmitch.JPG
Rebellious? No. But, think about the love and care and time dude put into them handlebars. Probably had to use some Dapper Dan pomade or something.
Paul B. circa 2004 would certainly say no, there is nothing wrong with that look. (But really, Dutch was the only one Phil who wore it well.)
Yea all the girls thought Dutch was the hottest of the group… great look where that got him… he walks around talking to lizards now
Yeah which is exactly what makes good ol’ Rollie a little “questionable”, if you catch my drift.
Man, I don’t know about all that. Dapper Dan’s a man’s-man product.
WHO WANTS A MUSTACHE RIDE????
I just did a quick poll. Turns out most people want a mustache ride.
Many would love a mustache ride utilizing those handlebars. But Nothing can compare to the power and glory of the mullet/mustache/fat guy combo of one Pete Incaviglia.
http://www.darowski.com/inky/image4.htm
This thread is taking a horrible turn for the gutter…
Can one get a mustache ride in the gutter?
Apparently if you run into a German down there
Let me explain… that was not a cheap shot or anything… if anyone has seen Super Troopers they know what im talking about