Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

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Published: May 13, 2009

I'm no hypochondriac; an ex-drug bunny, yes, but not a guy prone to hitting hospitals for reasons other than to spread sunshine. You hit a 102 degree fever, get pummeled by radical aching and start shivering in this swine-y climate, you get yourself checked. Yet upon hitting two Philly hospitals and going through triage units, I and (in both cases) several mask-wearing sickos never moved in line. For four long, sweaty, teeth-chattering hours. Several mask-wearing souls left, including me who was lucky enough to find my Dr. Benway finally back from a long trip in the Peruvian mountains. I'm hip to the idea that the media (don't looga me!) blew the pig flu out of proportion. I know hospital emergency wards are overbooked, understaffed and way underappreciated. But if y'all're going to tell the public a "rapid flu" test is readily available — pony it up. If President Obama wants to socialize medicine as he wants the monetary system, that's awreet by me.

► While I wrestle with my hospital bracelet,let's mention former sick person, the pneumonia-struck harmonicat and gut-shot blues belter Wharton Tract. Like a lot of us Sout' Phillyians, he's pissed that May 16 to 17's annual Ninth Street Italian Market Fest has lost the odd Stringster cheese mascot and Sorrento's sponsorship. There goes the stage Tract and his new cute-boy Grinderman-like backing ensemble (Swinging Dicks) were to play on. "They got a DJ there now ... arg," barked Tract, who's hawking the awesome Five Bullet & Nine Lives, recorded at his Spice House studio with Rick Iannacone and Tom Donovan. Tract ain't crying mozzarella tears. He's setting up a pirate stage somewhere between Annin and Ninth and Christian and Eleventh. Follow the sound of the roaring harmonica.

► When Green Line booker Rich Wexler isn't fending off the media clowns like me from bugging coffee-shop regular Mark Erlbaum who wrote the screenplay to Café there (Upper Darby's Jamie Kennedy and girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt have been cast and will shoot there soon); gathering socio-conscious steam for the Best Fest's fifth anniversary (June 6, Clark Park); and getting peeps to save arts 'n' culture in Pa. from zero funding (ga1.org/campaign/FY10_PCA), he's actually booking things you should attend. Like two shows with sensationally bitchy hot-wired singing/songwriting/electric guitar-slinging Emily Bate Monday, May 18. One performance is early (7 p.m.) for the coffee kids at Green Line's 45th and Locust location. The other is at National Mechanics that same night (9 p.m., co-hosted by me, A.D.) for the boozers and with El Malito/John Cecil Price's new duo swinging swaying Latin prog folk sound and Les' Mes' movie-olas.

► When 1973-’79 Phillies manager Danny Ozark passed away last week, my prayers were with him and his family. My other prayers were for my comic pal Peter Goldman who adopted the late great Ozark’s name as his nom de quip. Ozark the comic will be in action May 16 at the Jokers NYA Mummers Club Comedy show and May 24 at his music + comedy open mic with Dani Mari at National Mechanics (and always On Demand at Comcast), I say we must find an appropriate new name for Danny if he chooses that route. My vote is for “Vukovich.” Write me with yours. (Ed. note: “Lonnie Smith”)

► After celebrating Cheerleaders 13th anniversary party May 13 (his DJ turntable job), Jackie BamBam heads to his first official act as a full-time on-air WMMR DJ (‘‘You mean WMMR full-time vampire?” screams BamBam) at the MMR-BQ at the SusqueTweet Center in Camden, May 17, with ZZ Top. “I am spinning all the songs I call ‘too good for radio’ up on Jaxon’s Party Deck on the lawn, and you can bet your ass there’ll be a lot of strippers on board.” Yipe.

► On the opposite end of the spectrum or stripper pole, Alex Strang of Puppet Karaoke fame is sending out an open invitation to anyone who likes board games. Founded by game designers Strang (Cybergecko Games) and Jason Tagmire, the New Jersey Pennsylvania Boardgame Alliance will specialize in board games, card games, miniature gaming and any form of tabletop games. There’ll be game testing, too. The NJPA Boardgame Alliance is on Facebook, or check cybergecko.com.

► Da Vinci Gallery CEO Dr. Debra Miller is going at her favorite topic — Andy Warhol: The Artist and His Critics — when she visits Fleisher Art Memorial May 17. For those who thought of Warhol’s Pop as lite-bite art, she’ll pit his work against Rembrandt and Caravaggio, show how Andy followed their lines of tradition, and stick it up non-believers’ asses. I’ve seen her do it.

► Taylor McFerrin, OP Swamp 81 and La Melodia perform together at Johnny Brenda’s for Eavesdrop Sessions on May 20. That’s a big deal. While everyone knows Dave and Junior’s Eavesdrop radio show at WKDU 91.7 FM (Fri., 6-8 p.m.) is a “house party” with all meanings of the phrase in play, their guests are the special-est part of the program. OP Swamp 81 is from D.C. and use political speeches from Martin, Malcolm and Angela Davis and the Sound of Philadelphia in their music. And the Philly/Brooklyn-based McFerrin is the vocal hero of soul-house whose one-man show of beat-boxing, singing and Fender Rhodes tickling has been wowing heads since 2004. Yet, he only just put out his first EP, Broken Vibes. Karmalux Creative has hooked up with the Eavesdrop radio cats and these new Sessions should be swank. Expect brilliance.

► Sadly, the gay community and the straight community and the world community lost a gentle friendly soul when Keith Gray passed away. Keith was a funny, flirty, outrageous boy who was a hit on dancefloors and informal runways between here and Manhattan for over 20 years. Friend and publicist Dan Contarino wrote to tell me that Gray was admitted to Methodist Hospital on April 5 and stayed, with his friends by his side, until April 24 when he taken off life support. On May 17 at O.N.E., a celebration of life, “Cutting It Up on The Runway” featuring Tronco, Quincy, Paris and a host of other gay crowd alums, will follow a 5 p.m. memorial service at St. Luke’s (330 S. 13th). The O.N.E. event benefits payment of Gray’s final expenses and local AIDS charities TBA. Give until it hurts.

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