Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

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Published: Apr 29, 2009

HEY, JERKOFFS. May is National Masturbation Month. I know for you persistently wanking monkeys, that's every month. But wear something fancier this season. Find Masturbation-A-Thons in the planning stages. And give till it hurts.

► Now, talking about giving — cash, not fluids — these next weeks are a dag-gone good time to donate to Philly theater companies. They give to you, damn it. Think American Buffalo grow on trees? They do not. 1812 Productions' "Eventa du Schmancy" fundraiser is May 4. In her comic guise "Patsy," Jen Childs leads a tour bus through Souf Philly (get offa my block, Childs) and welcomes 1812 performers along the drive, then lands at Popi's Italian Restaurant. Oh you'll pay. But you'll eat and yuk it up (pay in, fuckers: 1812productions.org).

► On May 7, positively-Fourth-Street's Bus Stop is hosting a benefit bash for SCRAP Performance Group with dancers and shoes at L'Etage. They're raising cash for SCRAP's TIDE that'll première at the Live Arts fest 2009. Be the first on your block to say you turned the TIDE (scrap-performance.org).

► Nichole Canuso's Dance Co. hosts its first benefit cabaret May 9 at Johnny Brenda's. Canuso'll do bits of her Live Arts smash Wandering Alice plus bowler-wearing Geoff Sobelle, Grey Garden-er Kim Carson and more contribute their aaaacting (nicholecanusodance.com).

► But first: May 1, at the Wilma Theater's 30th Anniversary Gala honoring board chair Peggy Greenawalt and Blanka and Jiri Zizka. No word on who's performing, but who cares? Get drunk with Blanka (wilmatheater.org).

► Keep your wallets out, cheapos, The Rotunda just got robbed to the tune of $5,000-plus worth of equipment and cash, to say nothing of fixing what I hear is a faulty alarm system. Determined to help? Write me.

► All PR mistress/sign seller Ali Waks wanted to do when she walked into the Italian Market's Bebe's Barbecue last week was sell owner Mark Coates a sign. Like me, she had just happened upon Bebe's (at 1017 S. Ninth St.), a Carolinas-style barbecue pit. But 6-foot-5-inch Coates had lots of Southern tales to tell, and Waks (who previously did everything but grill at Food Network-star Adam Gertler's Smoked Joint) was hooked. She's helping Bebe's with PR while Coates gets his dry-rubbed-then-brined ribs ready for a mega-grand opening by Italian Market Fest time.

► Writers and producers of Napoleon Dynamite, its star Efren Ramirez ("Pedro") and art director Stan Harris (This isSpinal Tap) are currently filming on Montgomery Avenue in Bala Cynwyd for a yet-unnamed indie flick. Painter Joey Feldman is working under Harris for a few weeks before he and his pricey murals up-n-move to Los Angeles.

One-man-band/smooth-as-silk crooner Stephen Bluhm gathers his troops for his first monster curatorial effort at National Mechanics May 4. We've mentioned Bluhm's lullabies previously and won't stop until he raises Bing Crosby's bones from the grave. Bluhm'll host Kiss Kiss Kill (the band he plays synth in and produces), sweet folkstress Emily Bate and 11th Street Spice House studio owner/ harmonicat Wharton Tract. Do. That.

► The Bob Dylan/John Mellencamp/Willie Nelson 2009 Ballpark Tour of Minor League Baseball stadiums (free admission for kids 14 and younger) has two area dates: July 13 at Washington, PA's Consol Energy Park and July 14 at Allentown's Coca-Cola Park. Batter up.

► Things happened when I lectured/blabbed manically at Ropeadope's Andy Hurwitz's Digital Label Digital World class at Temple. I found out he and TU are doing a grassroots label, signing locals and putting them through the stages of recording through promotion and releasing. And that he's got a class full of cool female promoters and dude producers ready to take on the Cashmans and Timbalands of the world. Hurwitz is the man behind programming free nights out at the Piazza at Schmidt's in Northern Liberties starting in full May 15 with displays from Minima, Creep Records and Very Bad Horse. And that Hurwitz has guys like me, A.D. , commencing their once-monthly nights — plus bands, comics, Jumbotron films — either June 13 or June 20. Isn't that latter date the big Second Street Fest up north with even more vendors and galleries, and participation from Alexis Rosenzweig's reconstructed Popped! showcase with Blood Feathers, Heavy Hands and more? Yes.

► Speaking of booking, the much-discussed-but-little-written-about Fishtown Collective art and music house-space at Front and Jefferson is nearly finished. Temple theater kids helped artistic director Victor Genarro and Kat Sullivan put up planks. And the 350-person capacity space will get booking cues from Armchairs' Andy Molholt whose band plus Toy Soldiers and You, Me, & T.Rex christen the finished Fish May 9. Before that, the Armchairs play May 8 for underprivileged children at Joseph Pennell Elementary School in Olney.

► I'm hearing from the top of its food chain (no names, please) that The Trocadero might do some major overhauling and painting come mid-July. It'll be brief, painless and mean some much-needed spackling. But that also means it'll be closed for a few weeks. Stay tuned.

► Elliott Levin e-mailed me from the middle of a jam session in Mexico City with The Last Poets and a bunch of jazz-fusion groups in a converted parking garage/dining area of a five-star hotel (Fiesta Inn) to tell me that he was caught up in the swine flu epidemic watch, where public events had to be shut down. "People travel the city in masks," says Levin who was there with West Philadelphia Orchestra. "I've been in rough spots, but. ... " More with Levin on the Clog.

► When classical/folk guitar goddess Linda Cohen passed on Jan. 23, she didn't just leave fans behind. She left students and teachers with whom she taught at the Classical Guitar Store. And on May 3 Settlement Music School will host a memorial tribute concert for free with instrumentalists Michael Kac, William Newman, John Penn, Carlos Rubio and Paul Eaton.

► Passage to India on Juniper Street is becoming an IHOP? Sad for the naan. But cool for the blueberry crepes.

► The Hollywood agent-y comedy that is Flashpoint's Little Dog Laughed stars none other than 2008 Barrymore winner Karen Getz, Matt Lorenz and Aime Kelly, and starts its run May 6 at The Adrienne.

► Friends of Judy's (the restaurant where Ansill stands) will recognize Ansill's new coupon deal — one good for 50 percent off a second entree of equal/lesser value when you return to eat within two weeks. Judy's used to do something similar. It was marvelous then. And it's Ansill-icious now.

► Our fave painter/Etsy-ian Kristen Stein — currently with several pieces on display at the Comcast Center — will show and be part of the changeover that Saxby Coffeehouse in Abington is making to become Catch A Break Café this weekend. She's already got a whole batch of striking new artwork at the Mew Gallery, Moderne Life Interiors in Jenkintown and, come May's middle, the Curiosity Shoppe in Philadelphia and Square Peg Artery & Salvage at 108 S. 20th St. (studioartworks.com).

► Hey Lou Rogai of upstate PA's Lewis & Clarke who'll play First Unitarian Church May 1: How come your new Light Time 12" EP (500 on colored vinyl!) is all about beauty and disaster in nature? I'm scared. "Don't be," says Rogai. "Take it as a metaphor, the industrial/emotional decay, abandonment, neglect, fear. Then hope sprouts up like weeds through the rubble and grows in to a garden. The heart-muscle is torn and rebuilds itself, and increased its strength and mass. I don't intend this to be too heavy or obtuse. This music is my thoughts and experiences, the people I play with are all part of this. It's our world, and if people relate, that's wonderful."

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

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