Just Do It

Philly Roller Girls Skate Workshop

by Andrew Amundson

Sun., March 22, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., $10, Millennium Skate World, 1900 Carman St., Camden, N.J., 856-757-9460, phillyrollergirls.com

Ever dream of being a hooker? How about a butcher? Or maybe you just want a cool name for your alter ego? If you've got XX chromosomes and are at least 21 years old, you can realize your fantasies at the Philly Roller Girls' skate workshop. As a precursor to their tryouts on March 30, the city's roller derby teams — the Heavy Metal Hookers, Broad Street Butchers and Philthy Britches — will be familiarizing fresh meat with the sport.

Led by training director Maureen Stubbs, a player for the undefeated Philthy Britches, the girls will first deconstruct the game's rules and mechanics. You'll then be able to take laps around the flat track with Beth Mast and Maureen Stubs, two legendary jammers (those are the players who score, newbie), to get a sense of the game's quick pace. The No. 3 roller derby team in the nation, Liberty Belles, will also be on site to assess your speed, endurance and falls. If you later try out for and make the team, you'll be able to join what Heavy Metal Hooker Vanessa Jackson calls "one big, sexy, scary family."

Just because you're a wannabe badass, though, doesn't mean you should forgo your safety. The girls highly recommend bringing your knee, elbow and whatever-else-you-could-fall-on pads. Fishnets and hot pants are optional.