Sports/Recreation

The shark: "I got 2-1 on McNabb not finishing the season."

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Published: Oct 31, 2007

Michael T. Regan The shark: "I got 2-1 on McNabb not finishing the season."

No, it didn't have to do with any local team's annual failure to win a championship. The most inevitable Philly sports moment of the year came after it was announced that an NBA ref had fallen in with the mob and begun fixing games, when the world learned that the ref in question, Tim Donaghy, was a local boy, schooled at Cardinal O'Hara in Springfield. Of course he was. —DT

When B.J. Novak's Ryan Howard character showed up on Scranton-set The Office in 2005, we thought it was cute happenstance. The Phils slugging first baseman with the same name had spent parts of 2004-05 tearing the cover off the ball for the triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons. Then, lo and behold, Novak is new Flyers franchise man Daniel Briere's doppelganger. Now John Krasinski's Jim Halpert character has a Second Life avatar who's a sports writer from Philadelphia, and Halpert does have a certain Todd Zolecki quality. (And we're hearing rumors that Andre Iguodala's real first name is Dwight.) Does it mean anything? Who the hell knows. —BH

The greatest gift the Philly Streets Department gave to bicyclists this year was repaving Spring Garden Street. Now our favorite trolley-free east-west-way is smooth sailing all the way from Columbus Boulevard to the Art Museum — no crazy spoke-bending pits of doom! It makes Spring Garden's preponderance of SEPTArds, cabbies and doorfuckers much easier to deal with. —JS

Say you love your bike but you're tired of conforming to the mob mentality and its circular wheels. Well, just pedal on over to the Streets Department blind spot on Spruce between 11th and 12th, and let the warped asphalt gently massage your spokes and buckle your rims until your wheels take on a more organic, almost amoebic shape. Mere potholes can't compete with this craterous, metamorphic moonscape. And props to the city for letting Jackson Pollock do some drunken paving. —PR

The Flyers traded for goalie Martin Biron late last season and signed him to a two-year extension. Paul Holmgren spent the offseason building a smaller, faster, more skilled team after a dismal last-place finish. The most notable addition was the top free agent on the market, the small, fast and supremely skilled Daniel Briere. With a few other teams offering deals similar to the Flyers' eight-year, $52 million package, Briere decided to come to Philly to play with his former Buffalo teammate, fellow Québecois and best friend Biron. Aww. —MH

To truly annoy your opponent, let out a good grunt or two, then pump your fist ineffectually after every point. Meticulously tuck nonexistent strands of hair behind your ear, purse your lips, stare intently, bounce the ball deliberately exactly two times, then let it rip. Let that eardrum-shattering primal Miss Piggy "HIYAH" loose. The USTA Middle States runs leagues for juniors, adults and seniors. Join a league, practice your grunts and slug away. www.middlestates.usta.com. —CV

In the beginning, PhillyCarShare was a secret — a red Prius tucked away here; a blue Scion hiding there. The next thing you know, they're everywhere. Parking spots have been mercilessly claimed for all eternity. Parking lots are now completely converted — a sea of cars bearing that inescapable insignia of two key-carrying beings. Are they humans, or some projection of future creatures? Needless to say, I love PhillyCarShare and think they are the best. Like I would say otherwise in public. http://phillycarshare.org. —MP

There are a mess of regular weekly bicycle rides, departing from the Italian Fountain, behind the Art Museum. The range of riding styles is wide, from stop-and-smell-the-posies sorts to the ride-like-you-are-being chased-by-a-man-with-an-ax variety. Most of the midweek evening rides are done for the season, including the busy Thursday night schedule, but there are still several Saturday and Sunday rides that will continue year-round. The Bicycle Club of Philadelphia is the main source of the planning, with a schedule on their Web site. www.phillybikeclub.org/current.html. —PB

It seemed like a steal of a deal for the Phils at the time — two problematic minor-league pitchers for a guy who was coming off a 17-win season, had thrown more than 200 innings in each of the last six seasons and was generally known as a gamer. That Freddy Garcia's shoulder would blow up after 58 very lackluster innings resulting in a 1-5 record — meaning that we paid him exactly $10 million per win or $172,413.79 per inning — couldn't have been predicted. Or could it have? Everyone heard the grumblings about Garcia's decreased velocity last season. This disaster of a trade should finally take the shine off GM Pat Gillick's apple ... —BH

... except that the Phillies, through a combination of true grit and dumb luck, ended their 13-year playoff drought by squeaking past the free-falling Mets. Should GM Pat Gillick be praised for this? Yes. And no. He seems to have instilled a never-say-die attitude in a heretofore perpetually underachieving team. He's responsible for Aaron Rowand. And he's to be commended for the many fine, cheap additions listed below. But he's also on the hook for this: When the season started, the team's glaring holes were third base, a thin bullpen and too many starting pitchers. All that's changed is that the surplus of starters is all now injured and/or terrible. —BH

For the same price it cost to have Eaton pitch home-run derby to the Phillies opponents, Pat Gillick used a group of castoffs and career minor leaguers to fill out this improbable playoff team. Former no-names Greg Dobbs ($385,000 salary in '07), Chris Coste ($385,000) and Jayson Werth ($850,000) combined for 167 starts, 23 home runs and 126 RBIs. J.C. Romero ($1.65 million), Kyle Lohse ($4.2 million) and J.D. Durbin ($380,000) were all cast off by their former clubs but won 11 games for an oft-injured Phillies pitching staff. —JT

The Sixers went 17-9 over their last 26 games, going from 20 games below .500 to finish a respectable-by-Atlantic-Division-standards 35-47. Their young players jelled under the guidance of veteran point guard Andre Miller and developed a personality of its own after the departure of Allen Iverson. —BH

The Sixers went 17-9 over their last 26 games, going from 20 games below .500 to finish a respectable-by-Atlantic-Division-standards 35-47. Staying the course would have all but guaranteed a plum pick in a loaded NBA draft, providing a much-needed infusion of superstar-caliber talent. Instead, by finishing just out of the playoffs, the Sixers wound up with the 12th pick, and went with high-risk/high-reward project Thaddeus Young, a freshman at Georgia Tech. Young'll take a few years to develop, if he does so at all, meaning the eighth seed and an early playoff exit is the best we can hope for over the next few years. —BH

The Mets-epic-collapse/Phils'-first-playoff-appearance-in-14-years phenomenon notwithstanding, the Strawberry Mansion All-Stars baseball league kept dozens of children from a rough pocket of North Philly safe during yet another violent summer. In other words, Commissioner Rick Ford and the dozens of coaches and parents who kept the league backed up their words with positive action, offering hope in a sometimes hopeless place. —H

Most Inane Coverage in the History of a 169-Year-Old Sport

The homepage read, “Philebrity will be liveblogging from the first game of the Phils vs. Rockies at 3 p.m.” We’re all for pertinent liveblogging, so we checked it out. Here’s a sampling of the insights we found. “Never seen so much red at a game.” (Deep.) And, “Yo at this time i’d like to thank the weblinc and national mechanics posse very very much for the ticket hookup. Go to their quizzo, have them build your”… (So this is the future of advertising recruitment?) When I dropped a drunken line to MLB correspondent Joey Sweeney that night noting that he’d have to “do better than that,” he responded, “Dude you try blogging via cel phone.” And then, “If you were here [in parking lot section ‘fuck u’] right now i would beat the cirrhoses out of you.” Classy. Shame I wasn’t there; bigger shame that I didn’t show up at his “faggot” office in the morning as threatened and just accept my 36 Roundhouse hours. The lesson? Just because we have the technology, don’t use it unless you have something to, y’know, actually offer. —H

MAJOR LEAGUE: The Strawberry Mansion All-Stars offered hope where it was in short supply. (CLICK IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Say what you will about 610 WIP's Howard Eskin — moron, genius, anything in between — but the quick-to-hang-up-on-someone minkman celebrated the 5,000th sports-talk show of his long, winding career this year. So get up off those knees, Howard; you needn't kiss the coach's ass anymore. Lasting that long in this town is an accomplishment worthy of recognition, more so than what any of the local pro teams you cover has reached. —H

Say you're a former NHL player who got caught up in a gambling ring. In about a month, you're going to get sentenced. Next move? Go to Vegas and play in the World Series of Poker main event, of course. Rick Tocchet, you madman! Things didn't work out at the Rio for old No. 22, who didn't finish in the money, but four weeks later, he took down the biggest pot of his life. While a co-defendant landed a five-year sentence, Rick got two years probation. He shot! He scored! —H

Championship-parade drought notwithstanding, there was one dude in red pinstripes we wanted to see get a ring before his way-too-long-already career ended: Jamie Moyer, the 44-year-old who cut classes at Souderton High to go to the last Phillies parade. He's signed through next year, but woe is all of us for him. —H

We all remember where we were that night in late October 1993. I was in a Georgetown U dorm room, visiting a friend who didn't have a television. So, over the radio came the pitch from Mitch Williams. Then, the announcers went silent. The crowd told the rest of the story. A story we needn't get too deep into right now, because it still hurts. That said, it's nice that Williams is getting much love as an occasional co-host on 610's morning show and Comcast's Phillies Postgame Live. And that nobody's showing up at the studios to pelt him with eggs and whatnot, like they did his house that horrible, horrible night 14 years past. Yeah, it's nice. But remember this: We can forgive, Mitch, but we never forget. —H

Does Joe, the chatty proprietor of Everyone's Racquet, listen to you when you request a specific tension for your tennis racquet? No, not so much. On the other hand, he does want to know your level of play, style of play, frequency of play and then he'll check out your current tension. Then he'll ask you a few more guru-like questions. Then, and only then, will he string your stick. It'll work, too. 130 S. 12th Street, 215-665-1221, www.everyonesracquet.com. —CV

Tapography is the area's only dance studio to offer adult-only tap classes for everyone from absolute beginners to advanced hoofers. For $15 and the cost of shoes — as little as $25 through a studio discount — you can tap your way through a Monday or Saturday class, or a monthly master class taught by Broadway pals of owner David Pershica. Students can also participate in a yearly recital at the Arts Bank. 2111 Sansom St., 215-694-7109, www.tapography.bravehost.com. —GM

Apparently, the Avenue of the Arts is supposed to be some sort of cultural epicenter. So why must I park my bike somewhere on Sansom, when I all want to do is buy some stamps? You want me to go to your fancy restaurants and stores and whatnot? Get some bike racks, the nice, shiny, black semicircle ones, please. Or, y'know, have some artists design some like up in NoLibs. —MP

With a comedy club, a record store, a refurbished Laundromat and restaurants, the 2000 block of Sansom Street has quietly emerged as a surprisingly eclectic strip. All the more reason it could use some bike racks. Maybe I don't feel like parking on 20th. You think the scaffolding outside Helium is always going to be there? (Actually, it probably always will be there.) —MP

I'm raising my glass to whoever rescued the Wings season. Look, I don't care enough to Blackle why the NLL season is suddenly uncanceled — I also couldn't give a crap about standings, stats or players' names when it comes to lacrosse. But I'll tell you, when you're actually at a Wings game, it's damn fun. There's really bad air metal blaring nonstop and people yelling "Sucks!" and lots of really strange, fan-driven traditions and, no lie, a come-from-behind win so often I've wondered if it's scripted. Not that I care either way. www.wingslax.com. —PR

The Onion sports section headline after the Eagles dropped their opener read: "Eagles Fans Give McNabb Three-Week Deadline to Win Super Bowl." Which pretty much sums up the collective mind-set of WIP nation. Never mind that McNabb is coming off a devastating knee injury. Or that he was at the height of his powers before he went down last year. Or that Andy Reid continues to surround his franchise quarterback with B-list receivers. McNabb's tenure in Philadelphia is obviously a failure. And we'd probably be better off if we'd have drafted Ricky Williams all those years ago. —BH

Temple's football team started the season 0-5. Which is how they started 2006 on their way to a 1-11 record. And 2005, on their way to 0-11. And then Temple's football Owls did something they haven't done in a long, long time. They won three. Games. In a row. Sure, they did it against Northern Illinois, Akron and Miami (Ohio), and by a total of 12 points. But they did it. Bring on Penn State Nov. 10, which should all but end any winning streak the team may or may not have extended this weekend against Ohio. —BH

Bonus Online Choices!

It has to be tough for Coach Andy to focus on football given the, um, questionable decision-making of his kids, Garrett and Britt Reid. On the same day in January, Garrett got into a nasty car accident while on heroin and Britt pulled a gun on a guy in an on-road dispute. Then, last month, Britt (allegedly) got drugged up and went over to Dick's Sporting Goods (always a great time) where he smashed a shopping cart and picked up a DUI. Not to be outdone, Garrett missed a mandatory drug test a couple of weeks back and, for a couple of days, joined his brother in a Montgomery County jail as rumors swirled around his father's job security. —JT

You'll have to wait until the spring, or better yet, the dead of summer, for white-water rafting on the Lehigh, Delaware and Brandywine rivers when there is no better way to beat the heat than capsizing into the cool, swirling waters of gushing river currents. You can choose your level of excitement, from the gentle and beautiful Brandywine (bring the kids), to the wild, scream-inducing fast waters of the Lehigh at dam release time. —PB

The goals, the bench doors, the dasher supports, the gates, the warped fences — just about every surface at Rizzo Rink's outdoor hockey rink (Front and Washington) is clad in heavy-duty rust. The brown, fraying nets hanging from the oxidized frames sport enough gaping holes to allow half of the goals scored to pass through untouched. And it's just dirty. Everything. Rainwater draining across the playing surface leaves a thick layer of silt. Discolored sticky spots of indeterminable origins appear randomly. The shabby goals disappear for weeks at a time. If the caretakers don't change their ways, the rink will end up like the dilapidated warehouse behind the eastern net. —MH

The hater would say, "Donovan McNabb. You know, the good one." The cynic would say, "Jeff Garcia." But for the dudes who bleed green, it's be the other guy who, like Garcia, went the way of Tampa, Jeremiah "The Axeman" Trotter, for the passion he brought to the Birds on, and off, the field. —H

Two people were booed at the Phillies City Hall pep rally after they clinched the National East Championship. One was John Street; the other was Adam Eaton. After signing a three-year deal worth more than $24 million (which, OK, isn't exorbitant as back-of-the-rotation innings-eaters go), Eaton had the highest ERA in the National League among pitchers who threw enough innings to qualify; was apparently nursing a sore shoulder for most of the season; was completely left off the playoff roster; and once sucker-punched the Phanatic. All right, one of those things isn't true, but he had a tough year. —JT

When Phillies manager Charlie Manuel moved Brett Myers from the rotation to the bullpen, his hands were tied. Of their then-surplus of starting pitchers, Myers was the only one who profiled as a throw-gas-for-an-inning-a-night type of pitcher. Myers was good but not great as a closer. Save for a couple of rough starts before he left the rotation, Myers has been an outstanding starting pitcher. But Myers says he likes closing. And the team says it's keeping Myers in the bullpen. If this isn't a bargaining-position bluff and Gillick can't find a way to bring in a closer and move Myers back to the rotation where he'd be a co-ace with Cole Hamels, the GM's tenure will start to look pretty suspect. —BH

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