Just Do It

Jen Kirkman

by Ben Kharakh

Thu., Oct. 25, 8 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., Oct. 26-27, 8 and 10:30 p.m., $20-$29, Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St., 215-496-9001, www.heliumcomedy.com

Jen Kirkman's debut comedy album, Self Help, established her as a masterful storyteller whose tales are both honest and hilarious. It also landed her an opening spot for Mr. He's Just Not That Into You, aka Greg Behrendt. It's a good thing — her backup career wasn't nearly as much fun.

City Paper: How have the day jobs treated you?

Jen Kirkman: When I lived in New York, I spent a day at Airs Magazine: The Magazine for Millionaires. I answered an ad in the classifieds that said I could make $100,000 per month, showed up for the interview, and discovered a makeshift office with a pencil, a phone and a sheet of paper. The magazine was all ads like, "Hey millionaires, I'm a really good dentist," or, "Hey millionaires, use our private jet company the next time you need a private jet." We'd ask businesses, "Would you like to advertise in Airs Magazine?" After they'd say they never heard of it, we'd answer, "Of course you haven't, you're not a millionaire. But you could be advertising to them!" It was a total scam.

CP: Did you go in the next day?

JK: I got on the subway and thought, "What am I doing?!" Then I got off, crossed the tracks and went straight home. I just never showed up again.

CP: Were you able to go back to your old job?

JK: No. I was temping, so they quickly replaced me. Plus, I left on bad terms. I may have told them, "See ya suckers, I'm about to make $100,000!"