Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

My favorite art joke ever? The Rockford Files. James Garner's PI character asks some Venice Beach painter just what the helluva mess he's executed onto canvas. "Man, I paint what I feel," says the hippie doofus. Rockford's response? "You must not feel very well." With that, let's discuss Philly's wonkily wondrous Philly art scene. Take my fave wife/hubby team of mezzo-soprano Martha McDonald and curatorial mensch Alex Baker. If you got Kahuna-worthy waves — Melbourne, Australia — you get the legendary young PAFA curator Baker heading your contemporary art department at your encyclopedic National Gallery of Victoria and his opera diva missus. "It's a great career move for him with the international perspective and a much-needed change for both of us," says McDonald. "And the surfing's great." Sob. Icepack loves merry Martha and values Baker. Though they're outty in January, catch McDonald's last U.S. show, Dress me slow, I'm in a hurry, Oct. 25-27 at Evergreen Museum in Baltimore (410-516-0341), where she'll croon to the moon in an amazing historic mansion. Or get some mod mezzo to-go: Buy her Lament photo book based on her 2006 grassy knoll performances at Bartram's Garden.

► At the same time Penn prez Amy Gutmann announced the U's $3.5 billion fundraising campaign in West Philly, blocks away at Clark Park's Gallery 13W stood the last Philly exhibit from local gelatin silver-print photographer Bob Asman. He's moving to North Carolina. His brand of hand-printed stuff is rare. That's what made seeing Asman's display of stark lurid nudes so elegant and led his old pal — photog Frank Stefanko — to come to the show and utilize Asman's talents for a book on Patti Smith, another upcoming tome on Bruce Springsteen and his new "The Swamps of Jersey" exhibit in the U.K.

► Is it true light sculptor Warren Muller is moving his bahdeebadhu gallery in the OC to NoLibs in January? That's da rumor. Is it true Copy Gallery-ian Nick Paparone from Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction T-shirt design got yanked from his gig by the label's owners Gyro Worldwide? Yup (http://artintheage.com/post.php?x=254&m=10&y=2007). Didn't everyone know Grasse owned AitAoMR? 

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► Sure Ben Morgan booked Stinking Lizaveta's half of Damo Suzuki's Oct. 25 improv extravaganza at Mill Creek Tavern (the other half: Bardo Pond, Rotunda, Oct. 25). But Morgan'll be working at UPenn's School of Nursing as an assistant to a dean of academic affairs and won't be doing POPPED!, the local rocker fest he booked with Alexis Rosenzweig. "My vision of POPPED! as a local band event doesn't match with Alexis' ambition to make it bigger with national acts," says Morgan.

► UNCUT's Drunken Spelling Bee at Bob & Barbara's (Nov. 5) and The Balcony (Nov. 19) features Tony Spectacular — reigning Bee king who'll step down to become a boozier judge. "Perfect time to take our dough," says UNCUT's Jena Serbu. 

► Not only do we hear Jon Yates is opening a second Beautiful World Syndicate used record store at 48th and Pine (BWS1's on Passyunk Ave.), but Yates bought out WPRB DJ Lizbot's Ninth Street Books and Records to stock his new shop. Aw. We liked seeing Liz 'n' George Korein in the neighborhood. Lizbot's old landlord Greg Pastore, owner of Queen Village's late Dessert, is reportedly turning that property into the new cafe La Golosa.

► Next time you see Bruno Pouget poking at something, figure he's going to buy it. We saw the Caribou Cafe creator pointing at an abandoned 13th and Drury Chinese restaurant six weeks ago. Now it's Apothecary — a bistro-lounge not to be confused with Rx at 45th and Spruce, FARMiCiA at Third near Market or a drugstore. Not to be confused with his career as a private caterer/chef, Phil Roy, ever-loving songwriter for Mavis Staples, Ray Charles and Wyclef Jean (who'll sing a Roy song in an upcoming documentary narrated by Matt Damon), just signed to Decca/Universal for a 2008-due CD. And he moved from 16th and Arch to Chestnut Hill. "There's less noise there," says Roy. Big congrats.

Academy of Natural Sciences: Family Four-Pack of Tickets | Mango Moon | Prive | Bliss | Raw Dawgs Saloon | Cream and Sugar | S & H Kebab House | Cafe Nola | Copabanana | Hollywood Tans: $50 for $25

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► Big dates: Before he loud-opens 18th Street's Vango Nov. 10, look for Diaa Sawan to introduce mystery chef Michael See (Nobu) at a soft-opening Oct. 27. Look for 20th and Market neighbor Level (which had a soft opening Oct. 20 with dad-to-be DJ Rich Medina: DAG!) to open its door Nov. 3 with special 611 mixes. Before he opens Barbary Nov. 15, look for John Redden with DJ Frosty, Gravy Thomas and Billy Martin/Calvin Weston at Arts Garage's spook-house jamboree Oct. 26. 

► WHOWHATWHERE: Ba-da-bing shrink Lorraine Bracco licked her chops at Chops before signing new Bracco Wines at PLCB Wine & Spirits, 12th and Chestnut. Harry Jay Katz and Frank Stallone watched the live 'n' local boxing match at the Wachovia Spectrum (congrats, Mark "Oak Tree" Brown, who was spied punching meat at D'Angelo Bros. before the fight). Bamboo Lounge's first anniversary and its Pagoda Room opening hosted NBC weather dude Dave Warren and G club (under Davio's) resident DJ Neil. Philly director Lee Daniels spent last week at the Harlem YMCA on 181 W. 135th St .looking for children, trannies 'n' drag queens for his next film Push. Ye olde "creative differences" sends Ryan Gosling out and Philly-ubiquitous Mark Wahlberg in to Peter Jackson's Radnor-iffic The Lovely Bones this week. When Eve hit World Café Live, Dave Hollister, the kids from Kindred and the very literal kid, Bianca Ryan, showed. Toots Hibbert got a city of Philly citation from Mayor Street and the Philadelphia Foundation for World Music and Arts before his E-Factory gig. "I wrote and picked up the citation from the City Reps' Office," said PFWMA's Terry Lee Barrett before the show. "No word from the mayor, so yours truly will stand in. Got an Afro wig on ya?"

► "One sure way of being in the company of friends is coming home," Kenny "Stinker" Gordon reminds me in regard to Philly's Pure Hell — punk's first black band — and their "ghost ship with black sails" reunion at El Bar Oct. 27 with Scareho. 

► To celebrate the deliciously macabre paintings and sage wisdom of the late Germ Books + Gallery CEO Jennifer Bates, Germ's David E. Williams published a catalog Igni Natura Renovatur Integra as part of the through-Dec. 2 tribute art exhibit in the gallery's J-Bates' wing. Be there.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)