Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

When Jerry Seinfeld came to talk Bee Movie, he clowned our town about William Penn looking like he's peeing when it rains. He joked about the Mummers that accompanied him and Bee-day PR-gent Jesse Cute to the Ritz 5. I even think his bit about using "small-time Mob boss levels of intimidation" against his kids was meant toward Philly wiseguys. But when PNI guy Brian Tierney left front pages of his papers behind on the Ritz stage where he introduced Seinfeld to the morning preview crowd, all Fusilli Jerry from NYC could say was, "Thanks for the Phillies dreck." So commenced the horn-honking, mook-hooting reign that is Phillies fever. No, I won't call it "phever" until we hit the Series. Even then, not so much.

► WHOWHATWHERE: At Four Seasons, Seinfeld teased a buncha juntas that we merely read into any Jewish bent regarding Seinfeld's yellow-striped role ("he's Bee-ish") despite its progenitor being Ben from The Graduate. "I crave organization. I envy utopian society," says Jerry. Meetings of the separate tribes occurred when Philly's funk 'n' freak folk folks celebrated brands of ritual separately. While Philly's Fern Knight-bachelor party was at North Bowl (think nice psych-folk go for strippers?), Jill Scott got a Tayyib Smith/Mark Bee (everyone's Bee-ish) Silk City party/ball for her nasty 'n' nice The Real Thing: Words and Sounds Vol. 3. Jill, working a fab frizzy-puff doo, got visits from DJ Dozia, producer Chauncey Childs and realtor Rachel Crowl. Common and Q-Tip hit Jill's bash after their Electric Factory gig. Mark Wahlberg ducked into Denim before his cooler head prevailed. Jessica Simpson passed on the "Chicken of the Sea" plate at Alma de Cuba Monday, noshing on calamari. After his TLA show, Devendra Banhart hit Philadelphia Eddie's Tattoo, where a weird girl followed to get her face drawn on his arm. "I'm getting 'A.D.' tattooed on my cheek," kidded Dev.

► Oi. Dev's TLA show was where I found out TLA bar manager, Michael "Dirty Diamond" Hans, was taking his wigged wonky foul mouth on its first weeklong tour Oct. 7. "Down South no less," says Hans.

► RitRow ruh'-ro: While Level at 21st is having so-soft Saturday openings with 611 Records until its Oct. 20 "debut" (we thought it'd been open for months, silly rabbit), Vango at 18th should debut between Oct. 27 and Nov. 3 with legendary bar-dude Seth Hogan flipping Grey Goose bottles not stuck into Vango's walls (you have to see it). Plus, we hear sad-so-sad that bartender/manager Billy McGhee is out of all Avram Hornik bars. Not only does this leave Bobby Startup as last man standing in terms of Bar Noir originators (McGhee, Hogan, David Carroll), but McGhee's no longer at Lucy's or Drinkers in the OC. Dag.

► Stephen Starr, Billie Jean King and Elton John host a party at Villanova U. And it's not a kegger. It's at the Pavilion Oct. 10 for Philly's ActionAIDS org's 15th Annual Advanta World TeamTennis Smash Hits reception. Anna Kournikova'll be there — the only thing yummier than Barclay Prime Kobe. Call 215-981-3346 or 215-336-2000 for info.

► Surreal estate: Diplo bought my favorite unused property in Philly: the ex-headstone/mausoleum factory at 531 N. 12th. It'll be a studio/HQ for his nonprofit music initiative, Heaps Decent. Do-gooder! I was gonna make headstones.

► Girlfriend in a Coma, Philly's fave Smiths tribute band, hits Khyber Oct. 5 for the Moz karaoke/ Broadzilla DJs unhappy 20th anniversary of the Smiths demise. Crying is permissible. 

► Look for Philly comics/painter Joey Feldman (last seen via Grace: Kingdom at the Fringe) to be in Details mag's Ten American Artists to watch for in 2008 soon.

► Scary Halloween art's in full force First Friday Oct. 5 as ex-World Famous Crawlspace Brother/illustrator Rich Hillen Jr. kicks off his month of new-band gigs (Hellside Wranglers) with DJ A.D. and an exhibit of his bloodcurdling best and a gore-'n'-goo-filled fashion show at Glam on South Second at 6 p.m. Feel fear when Psydde Delicious links with painter/pal Paul Palcko for Clowntastrophe Oct. 6 at Delicious Boutique. Palcko brings sobbing clown oils ("How could you not respect a guy in full clown face riding a motorcycle?" asks Psydde of Palcko, whose work embraces homoeroticism in the circus). Psydde brings sword swallower Barry Silver and sweet puppies (Pee Wee Martini). Which reminds me: I like dogs much more than people. PAWS of Philadelphia is hosting a mile-and-a-half-long Mutt Strut Oct. 6 at FDR Park to raise awareness 'n' cash for their good work. See www.phillypaws.org and let your pooch walk you.