Been There/Done That

Drunken Spelling Bee

by Monica Weymouth

Every first Mon., 9 p.m., $3, Bob & Barbara's, 1509 South St., 215-545-4511, www.uncutproductions.org

The last spelling bee I participated in was moderated by Sister Mary Anne. It was an orderly affair, and the winner was awarded a homework-free night. Bob & Barbara's — home of the infamous $3 PBR and Jim Beam special — hosts a very different contest.

The Drunken Spelling Bee was started in March by local artists' collective UNCUT Productions. The rules are simple: Get drunk (your registration fee includes a beer) and "Say it, spell it, say it." Hosts Chic and Buzzy Rogerio escorted me to the stage and asked — in thick, faux-South Philly accents — where I was from. The Northeast gave them plenty to work with. "You know what that means," replied Chic quickly. "She'll screw ya for a bus token!" Buzzy consulted an enormous dictionary and threw "bourgeoisie" my way, which I can't blame my vodka and cranberry for misspelling. Our judges — local band The Beast Infection— booed loudly when I missed the "r." A recent Penn grad followed and correctly spelled "chutzpah, " while "chandelier," "grotesque" and "miscellaneous" sent others to their seats. My obviously Irish Catholic friend Erin O'Donnell was harassed for not drinking enough before being assigned "hallelujah."

After a couple of rounds of insults and banter between the hosts, it's apparent that the Drunken Spelling Bee is as much as a comedy act as a contest. The Rogerio Brothers are actually Chris Osbourne and Eddie Austin of the comedy and filmmaking troupe Shabadelphia. Not everyone, however, appreciated their routine. Jason Barron, a bartender at Rock Lobster, had some trouble accepting that he had just butchered "daiquiri." "Now I can only hope for the demise of the hosts," he slurred. Kevin Connelly would eventually be declared the winner and take home two cases of PBR, although producer and shot girl Jena Serbu says no one knows what word he spelled.