These were busy times for CP. April 1, 2004, fell on a Thursday, and City Paper published its first-ever April Fool's edition: SEPTA reduced its bus fleet to one Ryder truck. Stephen Starr turned the Betsy Ross house into an eatery called FLaG. The Ballet did Dirty Dancing (hed: "Swayze for You"). Bruce Canon admitted "I was raised by bees." The Rocky statue got moved to the Art Museum!

Patrick Rapa reported on the House of Blues buying the Troc and A.D. Amorosi was all up in the World Café Live venue. Amy Webb reported that one in 12 teenaged Philly girls had chlamydia and then got inside Señor Rattlers/Club Kama Sutra for a story we regrettably, confoundingly called "Sex and the Witty." Helen i-Lin Hwang and Brian Hickey exposed Philly's human trafficking ring and Mary Patel reported on GLBT delegates at the DNC letting their agenda take a backseat in hopes of a Kerry win. Weedman crept into the paper, as did Nick Sylvester.

Future staffer Doron Taussig debuted. He would write about Suburban Station's blind a cappella quartet and later chronicle the resurgence of 1970s street gangs. Rapa interviewed Joey Sweeney, who then interviewed Tim & Eric. For a Juliet Fletcher cover story about local restaurants' response to the low-carb craze, we put Jeffrey Bouchard in a nudie suit at the foot of the Ben Franklin Bridge looking to hitch a ride (we Photoshopped a roll onto his body later). Deborah Bolling and Michael T. Regan captured the scene at the Althea Gibson Community Education and Tennis Center at 10th and Girard, the site of the former Cambridge Plaza projects. Hickey boldly predicted the Eagles would lose every game, and the plan almost worked. Under the Rock debuted with a piece on Dylan, natch.

Recidivism was high as Rick Valenzuela (briefly) and Brian Howard returned. Mike Newall and Tami Fertig joined the team. On a strange and painful day in May we said goodbye to Howard Altman. In October we gave Duane Swierczynski the keys to the editor's office.

In the oh-five Newall reported on the city's faltering EMS and Rick Santorum, and continued CP's ongoing series "Better Know Racially Charged Grays Ferry." Taussig put "Jesus Freak Superstar" Michael Marcavage under the microscope, wondered why we can't keep young talent in Philly and got schooled in basketball by Andre Iguodala ("I'm giggly. For some reason, I keep thinking of cotton candy," Taussig wrote of the experience). Howard made Victory beer. Neil Gladstone dissected the Phillies' problems in the clutch. Newbie Jenna Portnoy profiled Michael "the man who would ban smoking" Nutter. J. Edward Keyes hopped on board, as did Trey Popp and Nick Norlen's Running Numbers. The decision about whether to predict the Eagles' Super Bowl loss on the cover cleaved the staff, nearly tearing it asunder. A photo of Santa on the shitter made everyone feel a little nauseated. And Sam Adams' description of Truman Capote as "a role so juicy any actor could drown in it" made us all gag a little bit.

And speaking of queasy, we welcomed the prodigal intern/eventual Paper Doll Ashlea Halpern back to the fold, where she ratcheted up our Agenda coverage and pumped out pieces on cadavers (Body Worlds), foot fetishes and vomit porn in stride.