Fri., Sept. 15, 6:30-8 p.m., free, Voices & Visions, The Bourse, lower level, Fourth and Ranstead sts., 215-625-4740

Ayun Halliday is one busy lady. The mother of two writes her own zine (East Village Inky), is a longtime columnist for BUST magazine and is about to embark on a U.S. tour promoting her latest book, Dirty Sugar Cookies, which explores her riotous and often less-than-savory misadventures in the kitchen. Did we mention she even spent a day playing Bert from Sesame Street?

For tomorrow's reading, the New Yorker will hop the Chinatown bus to Philly and crash on a couch or in a hostel because, in true punk rock fashion, it's just cheaper that way. And although she's only been to Philadelphia once, she's done her homework and has a milelong to-do list.

Best Place to Perform Bert's Signature Dance, aka "The Pigeon": "I'm going to suggest The Monkey Bar. It's this really fancy hipster bar that I would have a really bad time at unless I was doing 'The Pigeon.'"

And for "Clean" Desserts: "Franklin Fountain. I found it on this food blog, Messy and Picky. It's an old-fashioned soda fountain. I like having a good root beer float."

Most Embarrassing Book to Be Caught Reading at the Bookstore: "It's gotta be, like, some New Age title of how to improve the goddess in the bedroom with your marriage. I'd much rather be [seen] carrying tampons around in the drug store."

Philly Landmark She's Dying to See: "I was really interested in going to the Mutter Museum. Oddities in anatomy—they have photographs of premature babies. These little malformed babies are arranged in really beautiful ways."