In Philadelphia a gritty alt-weekly was preparing to move on up, packing up its roach-frequented digs on 13th Street for deluxe offices in Old City. Leaving behind co-ed bathrooms, a computer network connected by wires strung high across 13th Street, and a Death Star window overlooking a bagel-and-leather shop. Moving to restrooms with solid-gold plumbing, desk-side massages and two-martini lunches at the Continental. Oh, we would have it all!

What? Oh right. The paper. We introduced our award-winning series "Dispatches from the Drug Wars" with Frank Lewis' investigation into the nefarious "Dr. Yes," an alleged drug-dealing doc. Howard Altman penned "Heroin Highway," one of his trademark two-part cover stories, on the drug pipeline between Lancaster and Philadelphia. Mark Naymik continued with "Homicide #126," the story of a Germantown man killed over drugs and his mother who made sure we remembered he was somebody's son.

Inky wine scribe Deborah Scoblionkov got on Dresher, Pa.'s "Spam King" Sanford Wallace. Gwen Shaffer got inside West Philly pirate radio station WPPR. The aforementioned Frank Lewis got behind the tension between the Inquirer and the Archdiocese. Intern Elva Ramirez got in front of the camera for erotica photographer Tony Ward. Christopher McDougall got into it with the controversial Journal Register Company. Margit Detweiler told us what it was like to be in a band called Rockula.

But CP 1998 was also about personalities. "Joltin' Jen" Darr got in the ring, fought a three-round bout at the Blue Horizon and lived to tell. She also penned the confessional "I'm With the (Hair) Band" about her days as a Cinderella groupie. Brian Howard got inside the head of Nate Wiley, got down to brass tacks on artist Ray King's mysteriously not-built Avenue of the Arts light towers, and flew to the Beverly Hills press junket for Dead Man on Campus ("I Was a Virgin Junket Whore"). Howard and Darr, dolled up in formal wear, posed for the cover of a dining supplement called "Boogie Bites." The former dipped the latter tenderly, and purported to feed her shrimp. Aw.

CP said hello to Sara Sherr's column "Yeah, Sherr," Michael Pelusi, Lewis Whittington, Ogbonna Hagins, photographer Jay Matsueda, Sono Motoyama, copy editor Lori Hill, smut queen Toni Flynn, suave designer Mark Evans and our dining supplement, Dish. But most notably we said hello to "The Bell Curve," City Paper 's weekly quality-of-life meter. Things were different back then. It had all the stinging political commentary of a Maude rerun, and could often be summed up by the phrase "take that, idiots!" But even in its first week, July 3 (13 total minuses, 22 total pluses, plus 9 on the week) there were signs of the acerbic spark that, we're told, defines the column. Witness:

Boys II Men will headline the July 4 show at the Art Museum. Finally — we were beginning to think ALL the beach boys would have to drown before we got a different act. Plus 3