July 27-August 2, 2006
City Beat : The Bell Curve
The Bell CurveCity Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life
SEPTA says it could take a decade and millions of dollars to install a "cab signaling" system on its regional rails to prevent crashes. That's funny, we've been avoiding train accidents for years by signaling cabs and we usually end up spending about 15 bucks. Minus 3
About 3,000 people from Lebanon have been repatriated in Philadelphia. "Yeah, I guess we're trapped here," says one Lebanese evacuee. "At least until they build a safe regional rail line back to our bologna stands." Plus 2
Legendary journeyman super-catcher Sal Fasano, a god among men, is dumbly released by the stupid Phillies. Minus 1,000,000
Michael Nutter announces his candidacy for mayor. Metro announces: MYSTERY OF NUTTER'S COUNCIL RESIGNATION — SOLVED! Even
Will Smith marches against violence in West Philly. "And if things don't improve," says Smith, "just move in with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." Plus 2
Lancaster native Floyd Landis wins Tour de France. Says Landis: "I'm going to Dutch Wonderland!" Plus 1,000,006
Citing disagreements with publisher Tom Rice, editor John Secor quits The Evening Bulletin. Can anyone tell us who the fuck these people are? Even
Harry Olivieri, co-creator of the cheesesteak, dies at the age of 90. He's wit God now. Minus 10
Total Pluses: 1,000,014
Total Minuses: 1,000,013
This Week's Total: 1
Last Week's Total: 2
