Port Richmond's New Wave Café (2620 E. Allegheny Ave., 215-634-3224) is so damn Polish, JPII gives it two papal thumbs up from heaven.

Polish cuisine is rich (sauteing in loads of butter is par for the course), so diet-savvy diners might find it too heavy. Regardless, the hearty, home-style culinary traditions of Eastern Europe come alive in the hands of an able chef. Simple flavors rule in the Polish kitchen—meals are highlighted by a multitude of meat stews, kielbasa dishes, and sauces both savory and spicy. Favorites include bigos, a kraut- and meat-based main course; frighteningly delicious pork shank; and borscht, a beet-colored soup made of … beets.

Although many Slavic cultures are rich in dumpling heritage, the most ubiquitous variation is the pierogi. In America, these crescent-shaped dough pockets are usually stuffed with seasoned mashed taters, but sauerkraut, cheese and fried onions are common as well. New Wave does 'em three ways: a potato/cheese blend, a meaty chicken version and one with mushroom/cabbage. They're usually pan-fried in butter and served with Warsaw-sized globs of sour cream. Fun game: Mention the name "Mrs. T's" to some local Poles, and watch the hair on the back of their necks stand at attention. "Mrs. T's are not fucking pierogies," hisses my girlfriend, whose father's side is Polish to the golabkis (stuffed cabbage). "They're sad, stupid dough sacks."

Flaki is a common Polish stew that combines fragrant marjoram with everyone's favorite beef part—tripe, the stomach lining of a cow. In my book, eating body matter closely associated with the digestion process is a great way to bring a meal full circle.

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New Wave's wide selection of authentic Polish beers and vodkas provides ample ammunition for toasts. Whether you're saluting Copernicus or Carl Yastrzemski, a simple na zdrowie (na SHTROV-i-eh), or "cheers," should suffice.

Many modern Poles still drink mead, a sweet alcoholic beverage brewed with honey. Shout-out to Grendel. Give your mom my best.

First off, don't make lame Polish jokes, you cad. Second, try your best to clean your plate: The chef might take unfinished food as a sign that you weren't satisfied with the meal. Wimp out enough, and you'll be banned to an eternity of screwing in lightbulbs by yourself.

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