Racist cheesesteaks? Catholics littering the front page? Lucky Strike bowling next to Olive Garden? Atza nize: The blue-collar Philly I remember. All we need's Ortlieb's. And Kevin Bacon—who done came home to talk up directing his missus (Kyra Sedgwick) as a smothering unwed mom in the dark indie Loverboy. What's to learn from Bacon, shooting breeze at the Ritz-Carlton? That directing's loud. Not like Mystic River under Clint. "Eastwood's process is churchlike. Me, I was pulling out hair and screaming." That Bacon loves lensing his wife (first came Losing Chase for Showtime), but won't do it again. "Nothing against her. I'd just like to do something more male. ... When we work apart I can tell her how much of an asshole the director is." That Loverboy's parents-just-don't-understand scenes are totally the opposite of life with late great dad, Ed Bacon. "I was an artsy misfit. But my parents supported it." That David Bowie likes him. "He told me at a party he uses my movies to try to get accents from." That getting older—looking for work—ain't what it's cracked up to be. "I go to work now with people who weren't even born when I made my first movie." That Bacon doesn't mind watching his wife have sex with other men—like in Loverboy's opening sex scene. "I wanted the movie not to kick off dark. I wanted it to be hot, funny. ... Kyra's down; ready to go. The hardest thing was for the guys ... you know, with me there." That he's going to do something good with that asinine Six Degrees game. "I have a concept that's charity-based. That we all crawled out of the same swamp is beautiful in a way. We wouldn't be quick to destroy our planet or blow each other up." Fin.

BREAKING/SOBBING: Stacie George is leaving Heyday for Live Nation—in DC. Who's filling her shoes? Joe Lekkas.

What's the celeb-u-tante scoop on July's Philly Gay and Lesbian Film Fest? That the gay porn flickscreening of The Making of Michael Lucas' Dangerous Liaisons (July 22) will feature stars Bruce Vilanch, Michael Lucas and Michael Musto after the screening. That Chloë Sevigny'll introduce the film she stars in, 3 Needles (July 15 and 16). That I'll look faaaabulous.

How do you build a better (David) Byrne-yelping mousetrap than Philly's Hand-Clapping, Python-Flashing Alex O? Make yours tougher, Iggy-er, garage-ier! That's what Philly's brawny psychedelic The Bottom Lip's White Dot Warlord—courtesy the renegade Drexel label, L Cast—sounds like. Say yeah and hear it and see it at The Wiggle Room at Raven Lounge June 15, and The M Room June 22.

What's da roomah we hear about Frank Palumbo Jr. easing up/leasing out his Signatures space at 13th and Locust—to relatives looking to sprout a dance club instead of a stripper joint?

WHOWHATWHERE: Bone china skulls? Cast china skateboards? That'd be the work of wild-maned cock-rocking sculptress Candy Depew, the been-away-from-Philly artiste who debuted stuff at Falling Cow Gallery to her faithful, including curator Alex Baker and his missus, songbird Martha McDonald. I'll see Rufus Wainwright at Carnegie Hall this week getting all Judy. But Pennsylvania Ballet fans spotted him at the 11:11 opening. If you're cry-baby Nick Lachey and you threw a pity party at the Borgata, you had guests like bitch-hugging Jeremy Piven (who had his own party going on), Wayne Brady, Tyson Beckford and Michael Jordan. And if you're electro-grind rawkers Genghis Tron (which dropped the diabolical Dead Mountain Mouth on 6/6/06), you've been spied house hunting in Philly. "Yes," says an unnamed source. "They could be settled by fall."

As of today—June 15—you are but one month aaa-way from a big, sex-ed up, oiled-up weekend benefiting nonprofit Brat Productions and New Paradise Laboratories. So they tell me.

Rich Wexler likes cyborgs and wood. That's why he's having a release party, "Robots," for the new Robotrake CD, Our Dying Christmas, guest-starring the barely human Kilroy/Bilwa pairing and WPRB's DJ Lizbot June 19 at Bar Noir. And then a meeting of members of Wooden Wand (the Hawkwindish Zodiac Mountain) and The Doctor and Philip/Make a Rising (ditto The Burrs) June 21 at 20th and Frankford's Circle of Hope.

Speaking of things you miss: Shai Halperin, the Capitol Years-er who happens to be in Tel Aviv, playing solo shows. "Last night I played Cafe Mers—an intimate cafe with large glass windows and a crowd of Israelis; insanely easy target for a bored suicide bomber," Shai wrote me. Curious to hear some Philly plugs in Hebrew? www.106fm.co.il. Curious to know the name of CapYears' Park the Van debut? Dance Away the Terror is due Sept. 12.

Old New Wave guy Robert Drake celebrates his b-day hooray June 20 at Fluid. Science Fiction's Jay Medley may've quit John Torres Band (sobbing!) to play blues with Hired Guns, aged punk with Pure Hell (their CD/DVD retrospective sells tons in Japan) and visceral funk with crooner Allure, the dancing fool who used to front Crush Boy backinaday, in SoulKing (they debut at Abilene June 17). But what new old music's got me ramped up? The reunion of The Shimmers—the once-upon-a-time Buffalo Springfield-like meeting of the once-dating Eden Daniels (Baby Flamehead) and Dave Bielanko (Marah) with Gimme-guy Andrew Chalfen and Marah's Ronnie Vance. There's a lot of Philly history here. Flamehead featured theater musos Chris Unrath (who produced a new Shimmers CD, The Way You Shine), Andy Bresnan and Dean Sabatino. The Transit of Venus label that The Shimmers' debut comes out on (in 2007) is Jim Moran's—who used to play in the Wishniaks as well as DJ on Yesterday's Now Music Today at WXPN, where Drake works. That's six degrees!

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)