You give this Jimmy Buffett character an inch, and he takes a frickin' mile. Seriously, we cringed when one CIP location opened in Langhorne near the Oxford Valley Mall. Now, you're sending your evil Corona-swilling minions to engulf unassuming Exton? Is nothing sacred?Bite This: I found your lost shaker of salt, Jimmy. Yeah, it's back here, in this dark, abandoned alley. Right there, behind the… Pow! Pow! Pow! Bitch.

Rebecca Michaels is Philly's undisputed dessert queen. That's why it's no surprise that her brand-new Terminal space is bursting with delectable confections. The Monkey follows a simple credo: "No bread, all sweets," says her majesty. If you think there's something wrong with this, then you suck and will hopefully suffer an ironic diabetes-related death. Bite This: Michaels' signature "monkey bar" features layers of brown sugar, pecans, bananas, chocolate and coconut.

Vince Termini Sr. opened this lunch and coffee spot on May 16, right across the street from the original Termini Brothers Bakery. Mr. Joe's is named after his father, who established the South Philly institution in 1921. Vince has filled the walls with dad's memorabilia; the menu features light fare, including pasta and panini plates. Bite This: One of Vince's favorites is fresh-made pasta topped with simple marinara and Parmesan. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to spell the dish's name. "You don't mind, do you, Drew?" he asked. Usually I would, but for you, Vince—fugghetaboutit.

This exhaustively informative Web site, which caters mostly to the give-me-Chimay-or-give-me-death crowd, recently polled users to compile a list of the best watering holes in America. Philly was well represented—Monk's Cafe (264 S. 16th St., 215-545-7005) broke the top 20 at No. 18, while Germanic haven Ludwig's Garten (1315 Sansom St., 215-985-1525) took No. 28. Other honorees included Tria (123 S. 18th St., 215-972-8742) at No. 39 and the Grey Lodge Pub (6235 Frankford Ave., 215-625-2969) at No. 43.