Baby Face Justice

Curious what they know that the rest of us don't, I spent an evening learning at the feet of the masters. Apollo says women equate your moves onstage with what you can do in the bedroom. And so, I present to you, a cheat sheet featuring five of the Heat Seekers' signature moves:

This is the most basic of basics, and the move any man seeking a career in stripping must master. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, bend the knees, lean back and pump the hips forward and back very quickly. This works best when you have a song that speeds up in parts for short periods of time.

There are two ways to learn this one. Put your hands on a wall like the police are going to frisk you and rotate your hips, first to one side, then to the back, and then to the other side. Another option: Stand with your legs shoulder-width apart, bend your knees deep, relax your arms, push your hips to the side, then to the back, and then bring it back around to the left and repeat. Then do it very fast. Apollo says newbies shouldn't panic if they're not hip-winding stars. "This is a very hard move to do well, and all of a sudden, one day you'll be able to do it, and you won't want to stop."

Yeah, you read me right. Apollo says that all of their dances and moves are based on sexual activities. "It's all about stimulating a woman's mind." Obviously you're not actually going down on the girl, but it's as much fun as you can have clothed. Get creative, or try one of Justice's moves: Bend the girl over on all fours, get down on your knees, lean back with your stomach in the air and stick your head through her legs and go to town. It's good, clean fun for everyone.

This is one of Apollo's favorites, and Baby Face says it works like a charm every time. Drop down to a low squat. Pop up fast, and in one movement get on your hands and feet, with your ass in the air. This is called a leaning rest position. Swoop down in a curved movement with your head first like you're going to do a push-up. Bring your head up, curving your back, and then rock back and forth on your hands and knees. For the killer finish, lean forward and gyrate your hips. It should look like you're humping, so make it sexy, not disgusting.

Apollo can't stress it enough: "Women are like dogs, they smell fear." Remember your moves and just fake it like the ladies always do with you.

Do the moves work? If you follow them to a tee and use charisma and personality, you bet. And these guys know—"You think a baker eats his own cake?" asks Baby Face with a mischievous grin.

Apollo's '70s Birthday Show Fri., March 3, 8 p.m., $20-$25 (includes buffet dinner), America's Best Inn, 2015 Penrose Ave., 800-609-9811 or 888-408-0533.