If I had to be any other manly man journalist, it'd be Geraldo Rivera. Aw, it was something to watch during his few moments in Philly last week: the porn mustache flying high over buildings, cape aflutter, corralling wiggers in "Stop Snitching" T-shirts just by aiming a Super Geraldo Stare. Maaaaaaaaaam. I don't want to wake up. Ever.

In the wake of Sundance, spring's regional film fests across the country are having problems getting studios to confirm stars and films. I'm surmising this is why April's TLA Philadelphia Fest ain't announced its stars (though the company's Feed from Brett Leonard'll be an entry for sure). That hasn't stopped Scott Johnston from not only booking his Fest Indies affair (at ye olde cabaret space on American Street, rather than the Troc. Boo!) but also a big show from Tim and Eric (Tom Goes to the Mayor on Adult Swim) premiering a new live show April 7. As if that wasn't enough, Johnston insists on asking, "Are you ready to make a movie?" via his Philly 48 Hour Film Project March 24 to 26. If you're ready: www.48hourfilm.com

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Buried Beds' Empty Rooms will debut Saturday at North Star. After reading their e-mails about going back to their roots, I had to ask: what's a cello-nated chamber outfit doing to go back to its roots? "We didn't actually feel like going back to our roots, so we made our friends go back to our roots and play as duos," says Eliza Hardy—who got The Capitol Years, The Teeth, National Eye, Mitch Fiction, Like Moving Insects, Fan of Friends, Red Heart the Ticker and Galactic Federation of Love to slim down to twosomes for their opening slots. Asked if anyone was a pain in the ass, Eliza claimed, "Doug Kirby from National Eye came on to [Brandon] Beaver and tried to get us to keep quiet about it." Dear Eliza: If you shot your friend after you'd been boozing, how long would you wait to alert the police and media? "If our best friend was Dick Cheney we'd argue self-defense."

It's a label. It's a store. It's a performance space. Tequila Sunrise Records at 525 W. Girard will be all that—officially—by the Ides of March.

The weirdly chocolate-painted Ansill—David "Pif" Ansill's refiguring of the once-great Judy's space I offered a "First Look" at in November—is ready and serving funny eggie things. WHOWHATWHERE: While ladies can't wait to know where Paul "Eight Below" Walker stopped during his time here, this will suffice for now: old guy Robert Towne (the Chinatown scribe who directed Ask the Dust) hung at Four Seasons and Geno's, Seether supped at Morimoto before shooting a new video and Terrence Howard played with kids at Dave & Busters. (I saw Hustle & Flow: Watch out!) Anyone wondering how ancient pub-punk Wreckless Eric ended up on World Café Live's Cynical Girls bill with Marti Jones and Amy Rigby, take post-Valentine's heart: Rigby-n-Wreckless is a new couple. Oasis producer Owen Morris concluded his weekend with Philly's nervous jangle-pop best, Eastern Conference Champions at Bryn Mawr's the Lot recording studio, by hanging at their TLA show where he was heard to exclaim he's "been here two times and both at the Lot" (recording that dreaded Marah Brit-pop thing).

Scowling howler Nero Catalano splits hairs at Bar Noir, playing with his skronkity 722 and debuting as part of the elegant Franzschubert Feb. 27.

I'm disappointed. When the Kimmel Center named its $6.4 million Verizon Hall organ I really thought they'd call it something juvenile. Like "Dick." Nope. They made it sensible: Fred J. Cooper Memorial Organ. Dude? Know how many people would've checked out an organ named Dick?

Clear Cut, out of the Pacific Northwest, publishes boo-tee-ful bound paperback books, with silken strings attached via mail-order (www.clearcutpress.com). Cut's Stacey Levine and Matt Briggs hit Space 1026 Friday to read and sing as We Two & the Universe.

When Dave Chappelle announced a Tower show to anticipate his Block Party flick with The Roots, Kanye West and The Fugees without naming participants, you had to wonder: We getting West and Lauryn (yay) or Pras and Mos Def (eh)? Rumor has us in between: with MC Chapelle, ?uestlove, Black Thought, Talib Kweli, Erykah Badu and Mos. Fine. And if you wanted to know what else ? was up to—other than making Babies Making Babies 2—you had to head to the party at Filo's. That's where we found out about The Roots' "Boom" featuring Big Daddy Kane and Kool G. Rap; that ? is producing Chappelle's new comedy record; that Roots' Game Theory is due out in October, and that his Randy Watson duo with James Poyser is covering Radiohead for BBE.

Brentwood Estates drummer Tony Catastrophe (also of Fathead and Ursula Rucker) got a new jam going on weekly at Five Spot: Tuesday's Big Picture. Tap dancers. Punks. Tap-dancing punks. The gamut. Go.

We're dizzy about Wellness Community's Locks of Love Bald Ball March 2 at Di Bruno's Center City and thrilled Di Bruno's Bill Mignucci brought childhood buddy/TV style maven David Evangelista home to roost as bald MC. No, the loyal Sagittarius won't reveal Mignucci secrets ("Unless you're paying," he laughs). But the Packer Park native, involved with Locks since his stint on Rosie O'Donnell's show, does mention one local whose locks he wouldn't have minded as his own. "Oh—Patti LaBelle. I mean, hell, did you see her hair in the '80s?" he says in envy.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)