1 Sweetest House Special

Blarney Stone, 3929 Sansom St., 215-222-5340

You know it's a college bar when the mixed drinks are served in plastic cups. This light pink blend of vodka, peach schnapps, 7-Up, and cranberry, pineapple and orange juices is a delicious tropical mix that's perfect for all you pansies with the extra-sensitive palates. 2 Cape Codder

Chaucer's Tabard Inn, 1946 Lombard St., 215-985-9663

I was told by a Massachusetts native that a Cape Codder is best when it's pink because the ratio of vodka to cranberry juice is greater. Which is just fantastic if you like the taste of gasoline and wrung-out gym socks. Thankfully, this Codder was ruby red and the bite of the vodka was countered by sweet, sweet cranberry juice. 3 Strawberry Marg

Copa Too, 263 S. 15th St., 215-735-0848

Fresh strawberry juice, tequila and a sugar-rimmed glass is every Kool-Aid lover's mixed drink dream. (OK, assuming you don't live in Waco.) That nasty tequila aftershock is near undetectable, and it'll leave you with a token red kisser. Oh, yeah! 4 Czar Nicholas

Monkey Bar, 2029 Walnut St., 215-557-0296

Hate ethyl burn? Once the Czar's ice starts to melt, the booze is hardly noticeable. Slices of lemon, lime and orange are added to 7-Up and orange-flavored Stoli to make a pulpy, citrusy-sweet concoction. 5 Chocolate Peanut Butter Martini

Red Sky, 224 Market St., 215-925-8080

If you're not tempted by the fruit of another (cocktail), this decadent drink, featuring Godiva mixed with vanilla vodka and peanut butter syrup and served in a peanut-butter-crunch-rimmed glass, straddles the line between drink and dessert.