0 Number of affordable funerals in America before Jan. 11, 1759, date of the first sale of life insurance—sold in Philadelphia. Sorry folks, the numbers are really not going to get any more interesting. Whatever, you're still hung over anyway.

1 Number of marriage proposals witnessed whilst ice-skating at Penn's Landing's RiverRink last Friday. Bride-to-be turned out to be my girlfriend's sister's friend. Um, and then I found 10 dollars …

15 Number of games in the Phillies' spring training schedule, which will take place in Clearwater, Fla., in March. Tickets go on sale Jan. 9. People still care about baseball? It's 2006! Unbelievable. (Ed. note: Why you little … !)

78 Number of chancellors the Philadelphia Bar Association had before their newest, Alan M. Feldman, who will be welcomed at the Park Hyatt Philadelphia at the Bellevue, Jan. 10, at 5 p.m. Ahhhh! The borror! The reception is free and open to the entire legal community.

700 Approximate number of properties advertised to be sold in Philadelphia's largest known sheriff's sale of real estate, Jan. 6-7, 1879. Meh.