Police say young kids recently have been discovered carrying cocaine belonging to their parents. Another successful career day!
Minus 7

The Parking Authority will soon warn drivers with six or more unpaid tickets that their car registrations will be suspended if they don't pay up. Years from now, when everybody who worked for the Parking Authority is roasting on a spit in the depths of hell, they can look back on this as the nicest thing they've ever done.
Plus 1

Vince Fumo says the Inky is obsessed with him. "He's our last reader," explain reporters.
Even

The Eagles retire Reggie White's number. "We planned to lose by 92 points," says quarterback Mike McMahon, "but we can't do anything right."
Plus 7

Jerry Mondesire, head of the NAACP in Philly, accuses Donovan McNabb of "hiding behind excuses dripping in make-believe racial stereotypes." He has to hide behind something, Jerry. Have you seen his offensive line?
Minus 6

New ordinance aims to reduce noise pollution in the city. Ordnance exchanged on street corners has opposite effect.
Even

Controversy surrounds Daily News editorial cartoon wherein a travel agent directs KKK members to Philadelphia to watch black-on-black crime. Jerry Mondesire too busy to comment.
Even

Ed McMahon says he was only joking when he dissed Philly in his recent autobiography. We had a really good joke, but we're afraid he'll die while this issue is still on the stands.
Minus 1

Total pluses: 8
Total minuses: 14
This week's total: -6
Last week's total: -19