If your Halloween plans include Terror Behind the Walls or the Henri David Ball again, it's high time you learned what other scary events are brewing in Philadelphia (drive-by shootings excluded). Here we've taken liberties to separate the fun-size Snickers from the Sun-Maid raisins and rounded up the best apple martinis for adults and tricks for the kids.

What's Going On: Terror at Sea: The Legend of Augusto's Curse haunted ship (Through Sun., Oct. 30, $3-$6, Penn's Landing, Columbus Blvd. and Market St., 215-238-0280, www.gazela.org) What to Wear: Go heavy on the layers for this frigid riverside event, but leave the eye patch at home. Who to Bring: Your bitter pal who lives to torment tourists — they haunt anything remotely historic. Why It's Scary: Board this ship with caution, as haunted hands are on deck. Should the crew of swashbuckling ghosts leave you unconvinced, the sewage-y fog coming off the Delaware will definitely give you the willies. Fear Factor: 7 — Be prepared to piss in your pirate pants; we hear the line for the bathroom is going to be deadly.

What's Going On: Phreak-Out Costume Party (Fri., Oct. 28, 9 p.m., free) and Halloween Rocks! (Sat., Oct. 29, 8 p.m., $8, both at The Khyber, 56 S. Second St., 215-238-5888, www.thekhyber.com) What to Wear: Something lame, cumbersome/inconvenient or flammable. No, really. These are some of the categories for the costume contest. Who to Bring: Your zombie co-worker who plays D&D in his cubicle when the boss isn't looking. Why It's Scary: Pumpkin smashing and a "Thriller" dance-off that'll have PBR-swilling hipsters looking more heroin-chic than ever. Fear Factor: 9 — You'll be hiding under the bed from whatever bar-ling you drag home.

What's Going On: Glamour to Gore Mischief Night Dance Party and Masquerade Ball featuring Le Cabaret Mélange (Sun., Oct. 30, 6 p.m., $12-$25, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400) What to Wear: Top hats, gowns, capes, masks, flesh wounds and slashed tracheas. Who to Bring: Your gay friend who dresses mannequins for a living. Why It's Scary: The cabaret freak show and costumed strangers make for an eerie evening. Fear Factor: 5 — There's no telling who's behind that Cyrano de Bergerac mask.

What's Going On: Dracula's Ball (Mon., Oct. 31, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., $13, Club Shampoo, Seventh and Willow sts., 215-922-7500, www.draculasball.com) What to Wear: Go vinyl- and latex-wild at Passional, grow some wings and don't forget your custom fangs from Bump in the Night Creations. Who to Bring: That ghostly pale wench from MySpace you've been meaning to sink your teeth into. Why It's Scary: Pagans, Anne Rice fans and boa-bedecked DJs spinning industrial are sure to hex you. Fear Factor: 8 — Dracula is really ticked off about global warming.

What's Going On: Day of the Dead Festival and Voodoo Vampire Parade (Sun., Oct. 30, 3 p.m., free, South Street from Fifth to Front, www.southstreet.com) What to Wear: Your Grateful Dead T-shirt over a skeleton costume. Who to Bring: Family members. You can always lose them in the crowd. Why It's Scary: Voodoo vibes, a hearse parade and fire eaters electrify the air. Fear Factor: 6 — It's still South Street.

What's Going On: The Count's Halloween Spooktacular (Sat., Oct. 29, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., $39.95, Sesame Place, 100 Sesame Road, Langhorne, 215-752-7070, www.sesameplace.com) Why It's Not Too Scary: Play it safe with a costume contest (beginning at noon), trick-or-treating, pumpkin painting, hayrides, a maze and the new musical Countdown to Halloween. Fear Factor: 2 — Unless your toddler suffers ornithophobia, the kids will be alright.

What's Going On: Please Touch Halloween Family Festival (Daily through Mon., Oct. 31, 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m., $9.95, Please Touch Museum, 210 N. 21st St., 215-963-0667) Why It's Not Too Scary: Face-painting, a play and festive treats served with spice tea will keep your hellion tame for the afternoon. Fear Factor: 3 — Caution! Hot beverages are dangerous.

What's Going On: Boo at the Zoo Trick-or-Treat Party (Sat., Oct. 29, 9:30 a.m.-3 p.m., free with admission, Philadelphia Zoo, 34th St. and Girard Ave., 215-243-1100, www.philadelphiazoo.org) Why It's Not Too Scary: Turn the young'uns loose to trick-or-treat with the beasts, hear spooky stories and march in a costume parade at a nightmare-free masquerade party. Fear Factor: 4 — Lions, tigers, parking fees, oh my!