A sultry Sunday in RitSquare: The sounds of SUN-DAE at Le Jardin behind me, the best summer ever's best party ever with Lee Jones, Aaron and DJ Dirty laying low house pipe. It's mah birfday, it's mah birfday. I'm having sunfun with friends when a Brooklyn-living pal-o-mine with a part in Invincible ("Wahlberg's a whiner … he has bad hair") begins to laugh. "So where's the $800 brownstones 'round here? Better still, where's the brownstones?" he asks. Arg. A week after The New York Times' goofy "sixth borough" story and the smelly stigma remains. Like the MOVE fires. Only funnier. While he makes jokes about "the Jayson Blair of the real state section" and other sundry Brooklyn Bridge sales pitches, I take one long Marlboro drag and ponder how long must we hang our heads in shame. … Wang Newton — she/he the tuxedoed/mustachioed love child of Connie Chung, boygirl boss of Walnut Room's Puddin Pop monthly — is busting out of RitRow's L7; not only doing her Gung-Ho-sho for Jon Gill's LowLife 'lectrosleaze Bond-themed jam at Transit Aug. 27 (with Dirty Diamond, le Bawdy Girls) but as referee of Philth mag's Aug. 30 oil-wrestling-a-thon at Club 218 starring the ubiquitous boobs of Jenny Balls and Carmen Martella III as "Victor Yza." Eh wot? "In dedication to Uncle Wayne, I'm hosting the License to Kill Lounge, gettin' my Bond on with a fully loaded Wang," says Ms./Mr. Newton. Meanwhile Martella'll bone up for wrasslin' by manning Denim's VIP booth (as "The Sheik") for Aug. 25's "Harem" party with DJ Cosmo. Sweet. There's plenty of oily types there. … Too afraid to audition for Philth? Too scared to tussle with Balls' flailing ta-tas? The Bachelor wants you, pussy. Supplicant women and wimpy boys: E-mail Brenda at creativelolita@gmail.com with your vitals now. … Here's a weird rooomah, hockeypuck: Have several Flyers taken the upper floors of what was once a bathhouse/fitness center on South 18th Street? We hear they removed what used to be a jujitsu ring and added elegant mod furniture. Area workers refer to it as the "Shot Score Nest." Nice. … Corseteer/naughty clown Psydde Delicious is gwan' retail, taking a store slot along the Liberties Walk of Shame. Expect the spiky one's shop to open in September. … Fave new bar name? The under-reconstruction under-basement SoMa on South Third Street is s'posed to go shot-beer-and-barstool-mountain-like under the moniker A Bar Named Sue. Brilliant, that, if so. … WHOWHATWHERE: Whattya do when your boss wants to stay in? When Brian Wilson played the Mann, not only did his shag-haired band sup with Jerry Blavat at Passyunk's Mamma Maria, they stopped by Bar Noir where they sucked face with several top-heavy ladies — when they weren't busy just watching the women sloppily, slurpily making out with each other. Two big egos. Two big parties: That musta been the story behind the two post-Borgata/A.C. Motley Crüe parties thrown by Vince Neil and Tommy Lee. Neil's "Party Like A Rockstar" Girls! Girls! Girls! Hot Body Contest at Trump Taj Mahal's Casbah has yielded no news, except that producer/DJ Diabolic got mashed on the turntables. Lee's "Carnival of Sins" after-party at the Mixx? Oh, so many fish jokes, so little room: Lee was a sushi-hoover ("a vacuum — ate a ton of it and wanted more," says my IceEye). The drummer planted himself square in the center of a floor show involving a mega-corset-costumed Mixx staff and dance crews made up like bad cheerleaders and Pam Andersons and driving Harleys (with a live drum line), all in tribute to Lee. More T&A than a K&A strip bar. … She baaaack: Former WMMR/ WYSP Philly expat Anita Gevinson, home for a visit at 102.9 WMGK from Aug. 29 to Sept. 2, will surely talk up her time nearly married to great-late Warren Zevon. And while we knew she's been working on a book with rocksnob Jon Valania, what we didn't know is, other than Zevon, her "big" conquests were Bob Weir (every Deadhead in Philly I know fucked him), Billy Squire (?) and Maury Povich. As such, neither Valania or Gevinson should give up their day jobs anytime soon. … Partings are sweet. OK, they're sorrowful, too: Bye to slender perf-person Brie Feingold-Africa. Brie's headed to Boulder, Colo., for an experimental theater MFA at Naropa University. Bye to painter Laurance Rassin, so famed for his Real World Philadelphia house painting (www.laurancetheartist.com) that he's moving to Manhattan to be near the company that wants to put his designs on their clothing. At least someone benefited from that affiliation. … Howdy, birthday campers: Kandy Whales + Pig Iron's Emmannuelle Delpeche = what? Kandy Pigs? Iron Whales? Delpeche Mode? Doy. N' matter — they're singing for b-day bartender Classic Mark Sheldon at Bar Noir Aug. 29. The next night, Aug. 30, weighing in at only two years old, DJs Robert Drake and Pussy Galore celebrate their skinny-tie "Sex Dwarf" anniversary at Fluid. Then there's mah father, Saint Alfonso's Pancake Breakfast, having a birthday. You must salute.