What's the Amish trip? Who cares — as long as they keep bringing their delicious chicken pot pies, sticky buns and pretzels to the Reading Terminal Market?

I do, and I'm probably not alone. That's why I took the occasion of the Reading Terminal Market's annual Pennsylvania Dutch Festival, which begins today, to find out everything you've always wanted to know about the Amish at the market but were afraid to ask. Sources included vendors Michelle Fetter of Glick's Salads and Junior Esh of the Dutch Eating Place, and the book The Puzzles of Amish Life by Donald B. Kraybill.

1. What's with the funky duds?

Separation from worldly ways is a foundation of the faith. Nothing communicates this more clearly than their different dress (except in Philadelphia, where they can be mistaken for colonial-era historical interpreters).

2. Do the Amish who work at the market live in Philly?

No, they go back and forth from Lancaster County every day. Since the Amish cannot own cars, most hire non-Amish people to drive employees to and from the market. Add all these pick-ups and drop-offs to the 1-to-2-hour drive from Bird-in-Hand and New Holland (depending on traffic), and stand setup, and 14-hour days are not uncommon.

3. The Amish are not supposed to own phones and yet all the Pennsylvania Dutch market stands have phone numbers. Explain.

Since market merchants only lease their stands, they technically don't own the phones, Junior Esh says. That's also how the Amish get around church rules about using only older forms of electricity (like batteries instead of the PECO juice that's piped into market booths). Amish merchants also smoke like fiends but don't inhale, so that's also OK. (That last sentence is a joke; the rest is true.)

4. Is it OK to photograph the Amish?

Not really, but most market Amish will tolerate it. Just don't ask them to pose with your Reading Terminal Market bag.

5. What's the Terminal's Penn Dutch Fest have that you can't get at Amish stands any old Wednesday through Saturday?

An animal parade down Market Street and free wagon rides; a petting zoo and dunk-your-favorite-Amish-merchant tank, all outside on Saturday. Canning and quilt-making demonstrations, sausage sandwiches, ice cream and doughnuts made while you wait all three days.

Pennsylvania Dutch Festival, Thu.-Sat., Aug. 11-13, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., Reading Terminal Market, 12th and Arch sts., 215-922-2317, www.readingterminalmarket.org. (Send tips and virtual pot pie leftovers to Off the Menu c/o cwyman@citypaper.net.)