Out of Thin Air

I JUST FLEW IN FROM CAMDEN, AND BOY, ARE MY ARMS TIRED: The Helium Comedy Club sidesteps the lame cliches (brick walls, neon) of other laff factories.
: Manuel Dominguez and jr

Helium Comedy Club is ready for yuks.

by A.D. Amorosi

Tell a Philadelphia comic — heck, any layman of live laughs — that a venue for comedy is open and they'll probably think of the hackneyed inclusion of the letter "z" onto every word, brick stages, too many 8x10s of too-many men with frizzy, thinning hair and exaggerated coked-up smiles, and the difficulty of comfortable communal seating at what amounts to picnic tables.

"I despise spaghetti joints that have comics on weekends for their "comedy' night," says local comedian Russell Brand, air quotes firmly in place. "It pulls the perception and value of the performance down to a plate of bad linguini."

Brand should know from bad and good, he being a veteran of cool, monthly comedy events at World Café Live (with his Chapin Kids improv shows through IRB Productions) and Bar Noir (open mic "Notebooks" showcase) as well as Manhattan circuit spaces like Carolines and Gotham.

"Gotham's a great example of an intimate venue that feels like a crowded room," says Brand.

Comics: They care about furniture. And Marc Grossman cares about comics; so much so that he and his wife Jana (a clinical health psychology student) have opened Helium so to carefully and comfortably accommodate A-list touring comedians and nurture a local comic scene. Carefully, because Gladwyn native Grossman — a 31-year-old married man past the days of roses, wine and wasted — is not funny. "I really can't tell jokes," says Grossman, when asked to hit me with one.

He is, instead, a trader of stocks and options for a large Bala Cynwyd concern. (He prefers not to give their name. I'm guessing they're not funny either.) Part of his opening Helium came from the fact that as suburban marrieds, Grossman and his wife yearned for something different to do on weekends. "We've been to comedy clubs in other cities — why isn't there one here?" he says he remembers wondering.

Sure, they're discounting South Street's lesser-of-all-evil Laff House. Everybody does. Heartened by sold-out Tower Theatre shows by Dave Attell, Jon Stewart and Lewis Black, Grossman knew that Philly had a craving for top-notch comics.

"We saw a niche that needed to be filled," says Grossman.

That niche-filler, Helium, is a wide, deep BYOB comedy club that doesn't look like a comedy club. The main space is a 250-seat room done up in tasteful blue leather banquettes and columns topped by perforated aluminum (for white light to blaze through) that frame the audience. While they sit before black tabletops and chairs, the smallish stage — done up with a cityscape behind each performer — is framed by op-art-patterned scrims. The two lounges outside the main room are as relaxed and tony as the performance area but even more impressive. Hipper than your average, everyday, unbearable comedy warehouse, two ramped, low-ceiling bar areas are outfitted with leather banquettes, candlelit conversation bits featuring black leather ottomans, teardrop lighting and inlaid lava lamps for just a smidge of kitsch.

"There's really no comedy club anywhere that looks like this," says Mary Rae Cox, Helium's bar, food and marketing manager.

Before going beyond the glazed, white-brick front, Grossman turned to Louis Lee — owner of the way-respected Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis, Minn. Lee came highly recommended by Randy and Jason Sklar, twin comics and ESPN hosts who happen to be friendly with Grossman. (Booker Rich Miller, brother of snarkster Dennis Miller, has been helping out too, booking features for Helium through the end of August.) In turn, not only did Lee give Grossman great tips (on how low ceilings improve acoustics, on the wisdom of advertising to college crowds, about wide rectangular rooms' superior sight lines), Lee also let him steal Acme manager Cox.

"There's a great chance to make this club the hippest A-list comedy club around, especially since there's nothing else in its league," says Cox. Along with A-listers like David Crowe, Danny Bevins and Ian Bagg, Helium is also trying to raise the profile of local comedy with a weekly open mic.

"We'll take the best of those guys and get them to grow — from three to five to seven minutes and onward to feature-opening status, where they'll actually get paid," says Grossman. "Ideally those openers will eventually become headliners. People would love to come here if they know we've developed comics."

"If they give young locals the chance to play an A-room without bending them over," says Brand, looking forward to what Helium will offer. "Get locals on stage. Instead of just three acts, have a sketch night. Do gay comedy. Just be different. People today have TiVo and the Internet. Watching one person for 40 minutes, no matter how funny, is a tough thing to sit through."

Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St., 215-496-9001.