icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

Other than drinking to naghag Jessica Pressler catching something on her mission-to-seem-less-than-lowbrow tour of Sri Lanka (crabs'd be apt), I've been monitoring the greed of scamming area restaubars looking to clam cash from Live 8. Now I can appreciate Jazzy Jeff's post-8 bash at Denim. Big Willie has to show up. He must owe Jeff sumpin' after the humiliation of "I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson." But I smite the Art-Mu bars announcing Euro-service to attendees; RitRow roués claiming VIP after-parties; and Old City irks tagging their name to the event. Oh, and if your fave Live 8 participant (say Rob Thomas and you're dead!) seems more sluggish than usual, know that along with noshing on Buddakan fare, each will be plied with Tony Luke's sammiches and Dock Street beers, the official totems of the backstage VIP area — one newly crowded with latecomers Ludacris, Justin Timberlake, Black Eyed Peas and Alicia Keys. ("We hear Keys won't like pork," bad-joked one anonymous restauranteur who does not wish to be associated with lesbian innuendo.) Now, in its competitive quest to, um, be with it, Elton John's July 4 Philadelphia Freedom Concert has announced Hollywood squares Bruce Vilanch and Wayne Brady. … Like me, Larry Magid and his EFC crew geared up for Live 8 by getting outta town — to A.C. for the Borgata's Maxim mag party, hosted by the now-outta-Live 8 rap-multi-hyphenate P. Diddy looking snap in black Gucci. But seeing the tackily attired Maxim demographic (is there an EXPRESS in the Borgata?) splayed sloppily across beds was nearly better than the celeb-watch: Chubby Entourage lacky Jerry Ferrara and Fat Joe were there, as were Denzel Washington and mightily mono-browed Adrian Grenier. Seeing a loosely bloused Heidi Bressler (Philly's reality-show answer to a question never asked) after Carmen Electra rolled by was like watching a pig following a butterfly. That's no metaphor, either. Jay-Z and Beyonce were about, but remained well-shrouded. Only Bam Margera seemed into chatting, telling me he was too sore for scandal. "I just leapt off an 18 wheeler in Albany and hurt my ass really bad. Unless I get heavily drunk, I won't be pulling any kind of stunts," said Bam, who was sporting a new tattoo (of Uncle Don Vito) and new girlfriend Missy Rothstein but neither of the white-trash tag team of Jessica Simpson and longtime hanger-on Jennifer Rivell. … After a two-day swing through Philly for the WYSP Babefest at Electric Factory (with stops at Marmont and Smith & Wollensky), over-tanned elder Gene Simmons wound up at Cheerleaders with DJ Jacky Bam Bam. Surrounded by all manner of the scantily clad in the Bubble Lounge, I asked Simmons, 55, what he was doing still being feted in strip clubs. "This is why," he said, as one particularly buxom babe lifted what little there was of her top for him to permanent-marker her breasts. … Not only did The Teeth make it into The Fader (prolly due to its new EP, Carry the Wood, and documentary, Bones Grow: An Introduction to the Teeth, debuting at the Ethical Society July 7) and Jersey interiorist Brad Ascalon make it into Wallpaper as one the mag's 10 "Most Wanted" designers of 2005, Mummer/South Philly blog-bachelor Jason Mulgrew got a nod as one of People mag's sexiest bachelors because of his lonely, silly www.jasonmulgrew.com. … Anyone waiting for the Goth couples-only Pleasure Club scheduled to open this week (can't say where yet) now must wait until September. Ain't easy installing custom hot tubs and koi fountains. … Exploit, enrage: We love that Philly1.com's Harry B. Cook and designer galpal Emmie Goldenbaum made Doylestown's fave infamous pervert, ze Naked Zorro, into hip-in-the-'90s-items like sleeveless T's and trucker hats available through his Web site. But Harry, where's the BTK Killer Zubaz? … Not only is Philly-rockabilly-er Charlie Gracie working with HBO directors Shawn Swords and Conrad Zimmer on a documentary of his life (including interviews with Gracie fans Paul McCartney and Graham Nash), Camino Books' publisher/author John Cappello and Charlie Jr. are working on dad's biography. … While I'm turr-ble sorry you missed Undead filmmakers Peter and Mike Spierig over the weekend at South Street's Atomic City Comics, you can still catch horror film freak/King of Siam guitarist Bruce Gilder's less-than-creepy photo work at his "Alien Worlds" exhibit/reception at GERM Books July 1. … As rumored previously, Honus Honus has "trimmed the Man Man moustache slightly" with the departure of drummer Phenom Tiberius Lyn, who's been replaced by temps Chris Powell and Moon Beam. … Looking to do something un-American for the weekend? Kandy Whales wants you. The horny avant disco-ites and Uncut Productions are making a video and they're throwing an all-night block party on Camac between Tasker and Dickinson. "We'll bring the wooder-oice, you bring the Mummery," says Whaley Joshua Delpech-Ramey.