Blistered in the Sun

Into the woods with Joanna, Jeff, Kanye and pals.

by Jesse Delaney

Crawling through holiday traffic en route to George, Washington, in a rented PT Cruiser (not the ideal vehicle for representin' the 215) is a far cry from blasting Gonzo-style across the desert to Las Vegas in a Great Red Shark; however, the destination, the 2005 Sasquatch Festival (Coachella's hairy, one-day cousin), was every bit as surreal.

For two days of unprecedented sunny weather, the rolling hills along the Columbia River filled with hundreds of campers dancing, partying and engaging in inexplicable behavior that began Friday night with a communal beer toast around the outhouses at Comfort Station #8. As party locations go, it was both convenient and odorous. Port-o-john Peeping Toms prowled the night while wandering minstrels on acoustic guitars, conga drums and harmonicas provided the soundtrack, and chanted "There's gonna be a riot tonight!" Neither the riot, nor the rumored laser light show at midnight materialized.

Up the next morning after not having gone to bed, it was beers for breakfast, a disco nap and a short hike to the concert gates. The festival got off to a poppy start with Math and Physics Club on the Yeti Stage followed by Parks and Recreation, whose showtune-inspired "Break Into Song" was the most joyful number of the day. The sunshine continued on the Yeti with Smoosh, sisters ages 13 and 11 who already know how to work a crowd. The gushes and "awws" were overshadowed by lascivious whistles from a bunch of creepy Humbert Humbert types. Soon it was time to move on to the Wookie Stage, where A.C. Newman was taking the stuffiness out of rock 'n' roll convention by comparing his decision to perform in sandals and shorts to what Bob Dylan did "at that folk festival in the '60s." "Judas" (as someone called out) or not, Newman, in a camp counselor ensemble, looked more comfortable in the 90-degree heat than fellow Canadians The Arcade Fire, dressed in their usual solemn funeral attire. Wilco's Jeff Tweedy (in sports jacket) assessed the weather thusly: "You're fuckin' nuts to be standing out here in the sun." One fuckin' nutter ran afoul of Beverage Enforcement (a security detail devoted solely to enforcing legal drinking and full refreshment) and attempted to elude capture by log rolling down the hill (a poor plan on a crowded mall).

Alcohol caused problems of a different sort when Joanna Newsom took the Wookie stage. Trapped in long beer lines, aspiring drinkers became a captive audience for Newsom's harp and politically surreal tunes. Forced to choose between beer and escape, there was much grumbling.

The heat abated when the sun finally dipped below the river cliffs as Kanye West, who performed without entourage or crowd fluffers, wrapped up his set. Glowsticks ignited for Modest Mouse, who commanded the only Zippo salute of the night for "The World At Large."

The Pixies finished things off with another performance on their "Awkward Silence" reunion tour. Then it was back to the campgrounds where security valiantly tried to contain an outpouring of fireworks from igniting the flammable nylon tents.

Sasquatch Festival at the Gorge at George, Washington, May 28, 2005

Number of bands: 26
Number of stages: 3 (Mainstage, Yeti and Wookie [sic])
Tickets: $55
Camping: $30/night
Time Difference: 3 hours
Miles from City Paper office: 2688.9
Kites: 11
Elephant Ear: $5 (a sugary treat)
Yakisoba: $7 (fried Japanese noodles)
Best giveaway: Tobacco SmokesYou.com slap bracelets
Hot spot: Comfort Station #8
Spontaneous whooping hour: 11:22 p.m.
Water: $4.25
Beer: $5-$8
Zippo salutes: 1 (for Modest Mouse)
Most ostentatious vehicle in campground: BMW convertible (PT Cruiser comes in second)