May 5-11, 2005

the bell curve

The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

New book says Thomas Eakins enjoyed bestiality, sadism and other sexual perversions. Kinda makes you wonder how they'll decorate Art Museum steps during the next Eakins retrospective.
Minus 3

The whale makes momentary detour into the Schuylkill. "And man is my oval achin'," says Hélis.
Plus 1

District attorney candidate Seth Williams, who once praised Lynne Abraham, now accuses her of "outdated thinking." Well, her Elvis impression is getting a little old.
Even

City Councilman Rick Mariano refuses to reveal financial information to federal investigators. We're guessing he's hiding a few paychecks from Willy Wonka.
Minus 4

PGW says that landlords are responsible for money owed by tenants who don't pay their gas bills. After announcing it, Tom Knudsen, who has no shadow, blew a smoke ring, though he hadn't had a cigarette in hours.
Minus 6

Desperate Housewives donates prom dress to Philly high school student. "I'm a big fan of old whores," she explains.
Plus 3

Glenolden native Stephenie LaGrossa is finally voted off Survivor, after weeks of surviving her tribe's repeated losses. "Welcome to my life," says Bobby Abreu.
Minus 1

Mayor Street tells Wireless Internet convention, "The future of this city is online, not in line." Then everyone cheered because it was our beleaguered little mayor's first ever sound bite. Aw.
Plus 1

Total Pluses: 5
Total Minuses: -14
This Week's Total: -9
Last Week's Total: -7