Wised Up

by Frank Halperin

Books

Hey Joe, where are you going with that gun in your hand?

If you were Joe Pistone, that rusty .22 was simply another prop in the prerequisite accoutrements of fronting as a wiseguy — along with the walk, the talk, the social clubs, the DeVilles, the goumadas … but-a-beepa-da-bopa-da-boop. If you don't recognize his name, you definitely know his alias: Donnie Brasco, the fed-cum-jewel thief who infiltrated the mafia for six years and lived to tell the tale with his New York Times best-seller Donnie Brasco; it was then made into a successful movie starring Hollywood's crown prince of true-life deviant characterizations, Johnny Depp, as the insouciant Pistone/Brasco undercover in downtown New York (call it 21 Mott Street).

The most recent installment of the Pistone Papers is The Way of the Wiseguy (Running Press), a no-punches-pulled primer on connected culture for the layman mook and mutt that includes a CD of the actual surveillance recordings from the FBI's "Donnie Brasco" operation. The book describes in blunt detail every facet of the mobster ethos, from the principles behind cash-only exchanges ("nothing is cleaner than dirty money") to the most succinct way to pay back a cabbie who cut you off (smash his windshield with a tire iron). During an untapped phone conversation several weeks ago, Pistone shared his wisdom about "the life," which isn't nearly as romantic as our popcult exports would have you believe: "I never heard any of these guys quote Aristotle or Shakespeare," he says. Plans are pending to bring his new work to the stage; the one-man show, starring Philly's own Leo Rossi, will soon debut in Vegas. But for now, leave the car, take the cannoli and be sure to attend the sit-down at the Free Library, where Pistone will read from his gangster chronicles. Don't fugheddaboutit.

Joe Pistone, with Ed Conlon, Tue., April 26, 7:30 p.m., free, Free Library of Philadelphia, Central Branch,1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341.