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April 7-13, 2005

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Bad Idea Factory

Ethnic Name Cleansing

One year after acquiring the Goldenberg Candy Company, owner Just Born of Bethlehem has begun the national rollout of the Philly-born (and until now only available on the East Coast) Goldenberg's Peanut Chews. Or rather, Just Born is beginning national sales of Chew-ets Peanut Chews. The name of the family that invented the candy has vanished as quickly as Peeps at 10 a.m. Easter morning. Despite its name, Just Born apparently has a 1930s Hollywood studio mentality about middle America's willingness to swallow ethnic names. Which got us wondering if "different" sounding names might be stopping other locals from reaching the level of mass mediocrity, er, popularity they deserve.

The Bad Idea Factory's Names Sanitized for Success:
  1. Chris Smithenbach and the Philly Pops Orchestra
  2. Joe Spoon Fusion Restaurant
  3. Public radio talk show host Terry Cloth
  4. The Not-A-Jewish-Temple University
  5. The Safe-Schools Expressway

—Carolyn Wyman

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