icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

New Year’s resolutions don’t work. You tell yourself you won’t bite that cuticle; you won’t drink that sixth "A.D. Magee" at Bar Noir. But your thumb is bloody and your tongue is numb, and this is why you start squawking promises you know you won’t keep in a year you pray never comes. Like swearing you’ll say nice things about Bart Blatstein’s Liberties Walk so as to receive the same payola others must be getting because why else would anyone be kind to him. (Thought at least now I have something nice to say about Marah, whose Serge Bielanko supposedly got himself married to a gal he met in Salt Lake City, one Monica Danielle Butler. Mazel tov.) Or vowing to yell at people who tell me they have "gossip" when what they’re really doing is self-promoting. (Because unless you’re diming yourself out for sucking dick or losing money on a real-estate deal, it ain’t gossip, it’s self-hype.) Or taking an oath to destroy people who create their own nicknames, who tell you they’re well-read, or whose names are Eskin, Eskin, ESKIN. Or promising to replace foie gras with chopped liver. G’bye ’04. … Holiday rudeness: Sure, Philly’s Space 1026 welcomes artists to submit work via e-mail (shows@space1026.com). You just might be surprised at its reaction. Philly painter Tim Bowen was. "So you are looking for exhibition space, are you? Like a parasite?" wrote 1026’s Liz Rywelski in response to Bowen’s e-mail of site links and jpeg files. "We will consider your work, however we are booked until 3/06 and will not be booking again until 11/05. … Until than (sic), you should reconsider your pitch." Dag. "It wasn’t even a pitch," says Bowen. "I have a thick skin and a sense of humor -- I’m a painter in Philly. But there’s no need for her to be condescending after inviting artists to send submissions." When I wrote to ask why the terseness, Liz answered, "My usual response to a blind submission is not at all like the one Mr. Bowen received from me. Could I have responded in kinder manner? Yes." She went on to write that her response to Bowen was based on "bad vibes." When pushed about this, she wrote, "Dear A.D. Amorosi, I am not having this conversation with you anymore." Sounds like someone’s got a piece of mistletoe up her ass. … Also ruded-to was Brendan Olkus, the Soul Travelin’ DJ who found crates of rare vinyl and equipment stolen from his apartment days before Christmas. Though he posted reward signs and got back several records from someone who may have been a middleman, Olkus believes he was set up by another DJ. On a positive tip, Olkus’ remixes with Mark Ronson and Cosmo appear on the new Turntable Lab compilation It’s the Motherfucking Remix. He also got a visit from Fishbone’s Angelo Moore, who caught Olkus spinning with partner Joey Blanco on Dec. 19 at Loie. "He dug what Joey and I did so much he wound up back at Soul Travelin’s studio." They didn’t get a lot done ("half a bottle of tequila," says Olkus). But Moore’s coming back to Philly to work with the DJ duo. … Why did Philly’s contagious pop-rocking Jealous Type cancel a recent Whiskey Dix gig? A little bird tells me their manager whisked them to L.A. for an emergency showcase with EMI. … Reel Deals: Jones New York boss Sidney Kimmel is making movies -- exec-producing not only director Bart Freundlich’s Trust the Man (starring Bart’s wife, Julianne Moore) and Neverwas with Ian McKellen, but also Alpha Dog with Justin Timberlake and Bruce Willis. Woof. Also, TLA Releasing added national sales manager John Raisola, production assistant Desir Spangrud and production manager Kelly Burkhardt, and promoted Jacqueline Borock to director of legal and business affairs. Plus: Is TLA looking into Asia Argento’s film of J.T. LeRoy’s The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things, starring Marilyn Manson and Winona Ryder? … M-I-A club promoter Noel "Doctor" Zayas and former Kimmel Center PR person Nancy Lewis have teamed up for a new company, N2. For their first event, they’re teaming with the coolest dot-com, Cooljunkie, for New Year’s Eve at The Cathedral (833 N. Franklin) with DJs Eddie Elias, Dozia, Rob Lee, Rich Medina and Lucas Rivera. For info, call 215-271-2101. But you must miss the Winter White Ball, Shampoo’s pre-NYE party on Dec. 30, with MJ and Shavonda from Real World: Philadelphia. That’s your 2005 resolution, fuckers: This Real World obsession must stop now!! …

Sleazy NYE? Helen Back and the Str8 Razors take on Broad and Tasker’s Dolphin Tavern strip bar with no cover: not on the dancers and certainly not on Back (aka Jimi Mooney). …

The first good gig o’ the year? Tritone’s re-reunion of spooky jazzers New Ghost (Elliott Levin, Rick Iannacone and the Testas, John and Steve), Jan. 3. … This week we say sad goodbyes to John Bloodwell. One of local rock radio’s best friends, Bloodwell passed away just before Christmas.