The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Mayor Street puts former supervisor of the Philadelphia Police Department's organized crime unit in charge of the Safe Schools program. Mob recruiters promptly shift their efforts back to the Catholic schools.
Plus 1

State Supreme Court approves Philly's six-year-old decision to give benefits to partners in same-sex relationships. "And now," say justices, "what's all this hubbub about Y2K?"
Plus 3

CBS 3 News airs staged "bloopers" and moves up to No. 2 in sweeps week. Like that time Larry Mendte "accidentally" met the devil at the crossroads and, whoops, sold his soul for second place.
Minus 3

President Bush comes to Philly to watch Army-Navy game. Was hoping to get ideas for that Army-Iraq game he's been working on.
Minus 5

Parking Authority and Traffic Court begin impounding cars and arresting offenders in major crackdown. In related news, City Council meeting cancelled for lack of a quorum.
Minus 1

Lesbian minister at Germantown Methodist church is defrocked. "I'll still serve the Lord somehow," insists the former reverend, "though I've already ruled out a missionary position."
Minus 10

Investigators say the Delaware's murky water hindered efforts to determine what punctured the hull of the Athos I and caused the oil spill. And that, ladies and gentleman, is what's called adding insult to injury.
Minus 3

Vivica Fox, Musiq, Gabrielle Union, Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick attend Terrell Owens' birthday party in Northeast Philly. And Applebee's was never so blingin'.
Plus 4

Large turkey spotted on the loose in South Philly. Yeah, we heard he went to the Army-Navy game.
Plus 10

Total pluses: 18
Total minuses: 22
This week's total: -4
Last week's total: -11