icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

Who are the lame clowns limp- witted author Mitch Albom wants you to know about, peering from every billboard, touting the sure-to-be-treacly TV-movie treatment of The Five People You Meet in Heaven? Don't these chumps understand that even in death they won't escape mah scorn? I have better peeps to discuss—interesting folk who ain't dead. Take Tom Moon. The Inquirer music critic has been off duty, with the Inky's blessing, for one month and he's getting rammy. "I miss the deadlines," says Moon, taking a year off to do something he'd never wanted to do: write a book. "You do this for so long—all of a sudden you're not tethered to the same rhythm." Following the pattern of its best-selling 1,000 Places To See Before You Die—oh, so much death this week—Manhattan's Workman Publishing asked Moon to write 1,000 300-word rhapsodies about great records, songs and such for the tentatively titled 1,000 Records To Hear Before You Die (2006). "Mathematically, the only way to do this is to tackle two, three reviews a day," says Moon of a book that will feature quirky stuff like saxophonist Joe Henderson's Power to the People in addition to the usual Beatles/Dylan fare. "Their only criterion, or restriction, has been the book's broadness. They don't want the book to be the thousand best rock records. Good. That wouldn't interest me." What does interest Moon is that the book allows him to research classical scores as well as determine, despite the inherent arbitrariness, what is "essential listening" now. Moving from recorded music to live music, we offer the Trocadero's Joanna Pang, who bought the historic Westmont Theatre (49 Haddon Ave.) in Westmont, N.J., as well as a majority of the block on which it resides. "Think "entertainment complex,'" says Pang, who wouldn't elaborate on her purchase. Also in a buying/building mood: AKA Records' Mike Hoffman. His 21 N. Second St. store is still open, but he's constructing an AKA "superstore," mezzanine and all, up the street at 27 N. Second, for early 2005. On the new bookings tip, Hilliard's Joe Lekkas whose nightly booking tenure for the fishy Fishtown locale the Manhattan Room kicks off this week with rockabilly Saturdays, open mics and gigs by national acts. But, you won't have Dean Rosenzweig to kick around for a bit. Not only will the painter/Cream Charger run around Europe doing sound for Swearing at Motorists, he'll hit Amsterdam with Tony and Sandy Ward—Philly's naughtiest snap-taking pair—seeking a publishing deal/gallery show for Rosenzweig's 100-painting book. Upon his return in January, he'll have a big show at Union 237 Gallery. If you miss him that much, check out the Rosenzweig family (cousins Josh and Stacy Scherr) gourmet noshery, the Queen Village Sandwich Shop, which just opened on S. Second Street. There. Five people. None of them dead. Fuck you, Mitch. … After four years of poli-sci puppetry, marionettest Dan Gasiewski holds his last Puppet Uprising cabaret Dec. 4 and 5 at the Rotunda. While his Puppet Government collective promises solo shows in 2005, puppeteer Alex Strang takes over (mwahaha) with his sinister audience-participatory Christmas Puppet Karaoke at Bar Noir Dec. 6. … Starting Dec. 2, Ms. Natasha Fantassia will host "Bingo Boingo Bingo" to benefit GLBT and AIDS charities every Thursday at Pure. … Local gothtronica rules! Over ten days, Daughter Darling's quiet, sampledelic jazz wowed World Café Live while Brainclaw's wildly cinematic noise (to say nothing of their flashy stage show) ate the paint off Emerald City. Then there's God Lives Underwater. Though they just released the Depeche-noir of Upoffthefloor, rumor has bandmates Jeff Turzo and David Reilly signed separately to major label/publishing deals. … Also signed and dark (but in a whole 'nother way) is rapper/producer Qur'an Goodman, whose Face Off Entertainment got picked up by Sony Urban Records. Look for his first CD, Cold World by Philly's Jack Frost, in February. … WHOWHATWHERE: "A gay planetarium"—that's what snarky musical comic Stephen Lynch called the Tower during his Saturday show. What the hell was that Ben Franklin dude doing at Minnie Driver's gig at World Café Live? And what was up Minnie's ass? She seemed pissed—perhaps that no one ironed what looked like an '80s-ish cropped-sleeve T-shirt seemingly stolen from the set of Smithereens? … If you're at Smith Bros (220 Market) Dec. 2, look up from your skinny jeans purchase. Crooner Ari Hest will be signing stuff between 6 p.m. and 7 p.m. On the unskinny tip, we know Philly fattie "Kelly" is part of this year's red team on NBC's chub-u-lous The Biggest Loser. How dizzgustingly proud are we? They're looking for more Hefty bags to represent—so get your fat ass, or at least a picture of it, to Philadelphia Casting Co. by Dec. 6 (philacast@hotmail.com, 114 Chestnut St., 19106). On a nearly related tip, Philly foodie/Beatle-y band the Donuts release their new, sweeter CD (Buckley) after the spiciness of their debut (Sgt. Jack's Pepper Mill) Dec. 4 at the North Star. … Latte Lounge's Zeda Riggs debuts her new occasional party, The Juke Joint, at Ortlieb's Dec. 6 with a jazz tribute to Stevie Wonder with pianist Adam Faulk and bassist Warren Orree. … Happy birthday to RuffNation film director Rich Murray, DJ Robbie Tronco and John Falcetta (The Monkey Bar) and his missus Lauren's newborn, Porter Patton Falcetta.