icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

The still-smoldering ABC/Terrell Owens/NFL/Nicolette Sheridan/FCC dee-bacle really eats me. T.O. shouldn't have apologized. His only offense was to his own snazzy image, allowing himself to be filmed with a hag whose face is pulled back so far she looks like a guppy just yanked from its bowl, eyes all a-blinking. Who should be sorry is any media/government outlet that's in denial about its own fear of a black planet—refusing to admit that seeing a black man squeezing a decrepit old white woman frightens them. Besides, it's not like he punched a dozen fans in the face. Speaking of creepy white women, Eagles' hag Tara "Franken-nipple" Reid and formerly hirsute actor Billy Zane are being jokingly touted by Tommy Up as guests at paperStreet's Thanksgiving-eve party at Transit. Don't even kid. … Fashion accessory of the week: Jukebox Zeros' Rob Smentek's "jitbag" shirt, worn at his band's Khyber CD-release party, in honor of last week's Icepack. … Why did Ariel Pink storm out of his Plain Parade anniversary set at Tritone? Was he mad he didn't win the Kid Rock "Feel Like Makin' Love" condom auction? … Label Rumors: I know NME's all up on Mad Action's tip (a tip formerly know as Ty Cobb). Their shoegazer-y CD ... And Begin is mad huge in the U.K. But they ain't signed here. That may change. Warner is sniffing. Find out why on Nov. 24 at The Khyber when Mad Action plays with the newly relaunched LaGuardia. Who else is getting sniffed? Remember we mentioned around their Interpol date months back that Hail Social was getting look-sees? Word is that Capitol and Universal have eyes. And Sony's West and East Coast divisions have looked into, respectively, The Union Dead and Lauren Hart. Hart was once signed to Columbia and has since had tracks in episodes of The O.C. and Joan of Arcadia. … New places: Designer Adam Zangrilli is getting all mod with his NoLib bowling alley (as if the three already proposed aren't enough) at 909-15 N. Second St. John Falcetta is retitling Magazine (David Carroll's former eatery) The Monkey Bar. More drinks and bananas. Less food. And finally, the cavernous locale on Second at Bainbridge once known as Pyrenees—and more recently Las Cazuelas Tan-Bien—is now Terra Nostra courtesy of Mark DeCotiis of La Stanza fame. Balloons for everyone. … Now that Billy Wong's sold his restaurant (not his building) to several ex-Lounge 125 guys (it's now Mint on South Second Street), rumors point to the strip-club enthusiast doing a nudie bar show for Spike TV soon. … Rodney Anonymous and Joe Genaro will present Blood Rock, a final benefit for charities related to former bandmate Dave Blood at Bar Noir's Monday Night Club Nov. 29. Anonymous will MC, Genaro will play acoustic Milkmen tunes, and pals Janet Bressler, Live Not On Evil (Zipperhead Rob Windfelder's death-rock classicists) and Jukebox Zeros will chip in. … So how did R5 Productions' Sean Agnew get Bright Eyes to play Jan. 28, and at the glorious Academy of Music to boot? "Magic," jokes Agnew. "Conor Oberst hates Clear Channel. He will not play CC venues. He wanted to do a sit-down theater thing. We talked to some people who have access to the Academy and worked out a co-promotion deal. Crazy?!"… Songs from the curbside of a small town, the long-awaited CD from my favorite New Jerseyite John Torres, will receive a public airing at The Five Spot Nov. 27. … There's dodgeball to be played! It'll go down every Friday at 7 p.m. at Old Pine Community Center, 401 Lombard St., with Christian Meoli as your host. The next game is Dec. 3. Call 215-627-2493 for info. … WHOWHATWHERE: The Zutons get more indie cred than a bag of Nirvana box sets. But did you know Sony's Nithya Rajendran carted the band to Pat's Steaks, Spaceboy and the Art Museum before their TLA show and to Whiskey Dix post-gig? Sal Mazzotta and the cast of his Mafioso: The Father, the Son will be hanging at Hollywood Video, 11th and Washington, Nov. 27, signing copies of their DVD from 1-5 p.m. Marilyn Manson hit Temple University's Barton Hall to teach an art and society class for mtvU's Stand In series. Scarier still, Jane Seymour was spotted at Morimoto. … Wanna be on The Food Network, dork? It's trolling for amateur foodies to host a new show. Submit a three-minute audition tape by Dec. 15 and don't burn yourself. (Apply at the contests area of www.foodnetwork.com.) Or do you wanna just be a ho-bag? Seems WB may be looking for Philly gals to be the next Nicole and Paris. Casting news and where to get on your knees will follow shortly. … The Philly Soul Collective wish themselves happy birthday (five years) with a name change (TPE) and a party at Silk City Nov. 26. … Not only was the Cordalene/One Star Hotel rehearsal space in South Philly burgled, an Epiphone Dot guitar autographed by Noel Gallagher was among the loot. Got info? Call 215-334-6662. … Condolences to family and friends of Tommy Maxwell, woodworking artist and tattooed love boy, who passed away suddenly over the weekend.