October 28-November 3, 2004

cover story

Eatin' & Drinkin'

Here's Lookin' At Ya': Johnny Goodtimes, an award winner for his Quizzo and dolphin-training accomplishments (see p. 43), sips N. 3rd's blood orange margarita, our winner for "Best Drink for Vampires Concerned With Scurvy." Photo By: Michael T. Regan

Of all the things we've sipped and supped, these were a cut above.

Best Drink for Vampires Concerned with Scurvy

You are craving the quintessential elixir something sexy and powerful something you can really sink your teeth into. The solution: The blood orange margarita at N. 3rd. The godly nectar fit for the prince of darkness features just the right ratio of sweet 'n' tangy blood-orange juice to tequila for a not-too-sweet libation in a low-key and cozy atmosphere. JW

Third and Brown sts., 215-413-3666, www.norththird.com

 

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Bar Most Likely to Change Its Name in the Next Year

Coyote Ugly, I mean, Foggy Goggle. Ask five people what the name of the bar at 22 S. Third Street used to be, and you'll likely get five different answers, and they'd all be correct. The building has achieved Bermuda Triangle notoriety — bars move in and promptly disappear. Last seen in the area: Coyote Ugly, with line-dancing barmaids. Current occupant: Foggy Goggle, with mechanical bull. Future absentee: The Buck 'n' Brew, with hand-me-down bull. JD

22 S. Third Street, 215-925-9573

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Best Reason to Believe the Graduate Hospital Area Hype

It's an unspoken axiom in Philadelphia real estate that a newly gentrified neighborhood is just a rumor until it has one of two things: a catchy name and a renovated dive bar. This year, the Graduate Hospital area got Grace Tavern, an inviting little taproom with a great beer list and an impressive variety of sausages. It's only a matter of time before Grad-Ho really takes off. EL

2229 Grays Ferry Ave., 215-893-9580

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Best Switchup of the Restaurant Rules

Lolita vs. El Vez. When the tiny Mex joint Lolita joined the corner of 13th and Sansom, it placed itself across the way from El Vez, and immediately everyone envisioned a turf war. Surely Lolita's dark, candlelit BYOB would be outflanked by El Vez's motorcycle-toting kitsch? But, in what seems the most pointed denial of the cool-kitchen-concept rules, simple is winning — or so say the hordes of people who have found Lolita fully booked and had to trudge over to the brightly-colored cantina as backup. JF

106 S. 13th St., 215-546-7100

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Best Reason to Stop With the Mrs. T's Already

A freshly made pierogie bears little resemblance to its rubbery supermarket counterparts. At Roxborough's Pierogie Kitchen, the dough is light, the filling delicately spiced and the variety enormous, ice-creamlike. Available frozen and by the dozen, these little half-moon dumplings come in 17 different flavors, ranging from the traditional (sauerkraut) to the geriatric (prune-filled). EL

648 Roxborough Ave., 215-483-5301

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A Little slice of Karachi: Cabbies flock to the halal goodness of Pakistani eatery Kabobeesh (see p. 32). Photo By: Michael T. Regan

Best Pakistani Eatery for Hanging Out With Cab Drivers

The food is so yummy you'll find scores of cabbies parked outside Kabobeesh taking their hard-earned meal break. The Pakistani eatery's halal cooking method makes the victuals all the more tender and scrumptious: Kabobs are cooked to order on a hot grill, while the curry has been stewed for hours. It's as close to Karachi as some of us will ever get. HiH

4201 Chestnut St., 215-386-8081

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Best Smoked Brisket Outside Texas

Mr. Zeke of Zeke's Mainline Bar Be Que has no roots in the Lone Star State, but his brisket is the taste of fiestas past. Tender and smoky, Zeke slow cooks this meat to perfection. Get two pounds for $20, make a big stack of flour tortillas, stir up some pico de gallo and guacamole, and have your own fiesta San Antonio-style. MA

6001 Lancaster Ave, 215-871-7427

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The Anti-Atkins (But So Worth It) Cocktail

Mojitos have gone the way of the cosmo, so an alternative sugary booze trend is in order. Alma de Cuba, still home to a great mojito, also serves the Alma Colada, a frothy concoction of passion-fruit juice, coconut milk, rum and shaved coconut, offered in a ceramic coconut with a long straw. Think those homemade cocktails the Howells used to sip on Gilligan's Island. No, strike that image. The Alma is far sexier and, therefore, worth every juicy carb. AS

1623 Walnut St., 215-988-1799

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Best Place to Get Faced and Play Ms. Pac-Man

People who drink at swanky bars in Philadelphia are paying to lounge in designer furniture. McGlinchey's Tavern offers $6.45 pitchers of Yuengling Porter and a sit-down version of arcade classic Ms. Pac-Man. Skip the posh chaise, drink cheap beer and enjoy some ghost-chomping action. JS

259 S. 15th St., 215-735-1259

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Best Way to Learn How to Cook Swiss Chard

You'll have to wait until spring, but joining a CSA (community supported agriculture), where you will get a box of freshly procured organic food every week for the growing season, really keeps you on your toes, culinarily speaking. You never quite know what to expect. In response to those who ask Mary Corboy of the Greensgrow CSA in Kensington what to do with the bounty of greens, squash, fresh trout and even fresh pasta, she has the perfect answer: Ya cook it, and ya eat it. PB

2501 E. Cumberland St., 215-427-2702, www.greensgrow.org

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Best Masala in the Suburbs

As King of Prussia slowly becomes the universal axis of evil chain restaurants, there is at least one place to eat a meal that wasn't devised at corporate headquarters. Jaipur Indian Cuisine has outfitted its shopping plaza nook with tasteful decor and tastier tandoori. The insidious lure of popcorn shrimp notwithstanding, King of Prussia's dining scene is looking better all the time. EL

336 W. Dekalb Pike, 610-265-0996

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Best Pizza You Can Buy Off a Moving Vehicle

For 40 years, a white truck has wound through the streets of Fishtown, ringing a deafening bell. Fourth-generation owner Dieter Neumann drives while his friend Rita makes sauce, stretches dough and assembles fresh pizzas in the back of his truck — which is outfitted with an oven and exhaust system. The only way to score a meal is to show up in the neighborhood and wait for the bell. For $2.25, you can get a slice and a carton of Yoohoo, apparently the cuisine par excellence of F'town. AW

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Most Irresistible Squid Even for Those Who Say They Hate Squid

The awesomely addictive salt-baked squid at Nam Phuong will convert the staunchest holdouts against the yummy (but often too rubbery) cephalopods. Better order one plate per person. This huge, unpretentious restaurant is always crowded with Vietnamese diners looking very happy indeed. Wash the squid down with some of Nam Phuong's soy drinks. The papaya salad with jerky beef also rocks. DS

1100 Washington Ave., 215-468-0410

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Best Workout for Your Jaw (G-rated)

Big Sky (crunch) Granola from Wilmington's Big Sky (chew) Bread Company (chew) comes in rugged, honeyed (crunch) clumps of rolled oats, almonds and a perfect (crunch) trifecta of seeds: sesame, pumpkin and sunflower. Found (chew) at the Passyunk and Headhouse Square farmer's markets, the delectable (crunch) treat is available locally from spring's first bloom until fall's first snowflakes. But the truly enamored can pop down to (chew) the Wilmington bakery and (mmmmmm) stockpile for winter. BS

Big Sky Bread Co., Branmar Plaza, Wilmington, Del., 302-475-9494

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Most Compelling Reason to Brush Up on Your Spanish

Garibaldi was Italian, not Mexican, but he was a great liberator who has earned both a square in Mexico City and a restaurant, Plaza Garibaldi, near the Italian Market. This cozy Mexican dining room serves delicious south-of-the-border standards. The waitresses may ask if you can please order in Espanol, also the native language of most of the patrons. If you can bluff your way through the first two courses, then you're good enough for the flan. AS

935 Washington Ave., 215-922-2370

Best Diner Jukebox

The jukeboxes at Midtown II are at every table in the smoking section, filled with the finest tunes for late-night singalongs. Whether you're yearning for "Dancing Queen" or, for some reason, you want to hear an unplugged version of "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?", Midtown's jukeboxes will deliver. JS

122 S. 11th St., 215-627-6452

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Silliest Name Change

Recently renovated and under new ownership, The Wurst House became The Best House. Granted, we never really understand its original name, it being a pizza place and all — and lacking German food — but didn't that bit of confusion just add to its charm? Wurst pizza tasted weird, its tables were sticky, and inside it always felt a little damp. Now a blue ribbon dangles from the sign: first prize. Yeah, the interior's brighter and cleaner and, by most standards, better — but c'mon, the best? TF

4301 Baltimore Ave., 215-386-1450.

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Best Chinese Food Restaurant for Vegans and Jews

In general, fake meat tastes like rubbery shit. Fortunately, Kingdom of Vegetarians offers a variety of delicious vegan imitation-meat dishes that are Kosher, too. Beware of the duck, for it tastes like a combination of paper towel and mashed potatoes. But the all-you-can-eat dim sum is a force to be reckoned with. JS

129 N. 11th St., 215-413-2290

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Best Lox-and-Bagel Plate Outside of Manhattan

Sabrina's Café appears to be the only Philly joint that does right by the ubiquitous brunch standard. It's a little pricey ($9.50), but the fresh bagel comes with cream cheese, just-salty-enough lox, a bed of mesclun greens, kalamata olives, sliced red onion, tomato and cucumber. And if you're hankering to break code, the sausage links aren't bad either. AW

910 Christian St., 215-574-1599

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Best Way to Save Money for Drinks

Nothing can sate the craving for a log of sweet rice with banana and black beans quite like Ba Le Bakery. While it's just one of the many edible bargains in the Washington Avenue strip malls, Ba Le stands out for its inviting display of shrink-wrapped goodies like shrimp on a sugar-cane skewer, summer rolls and papaya salad with dried beef. EL

606 Washington Ave., 215-389-4350

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Best Bar and Beer For Learning A New Language

Ludwig's Garten has a seven-page beer menu, but try the Rochefort 10, a strong Belgian ale with an 11.3 percent alcohol content. It's smooth and tasty and strong as a mule kick. After one, you'll feel good about life. After three, you'll feel muggleheaded. After five, you'll be speaking German and challenging the Bavarian-attired beer maidens to arm wrestling matches. This shit is strong, dude. MN

1315 Sansom St., 215-985-1525

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Best Place to Grub on Thai Cuisine While Bobbing Your Head to House Music

While you're coasting up and down Spring Garden Street in your hot rod trying to decide which super-club to hit, Siam Lotus offers the perfect preparty pit stop. It's a quaint and intimate Thai restaurant, equipped with exotic orchids, Thai beer, tasty starters (coconut chicken soup) and satisfying entrees (try the mahi-mahi in yellow curry). On most Thursday and Saturday nights, you can hear DJs such as Matt Kling, Mike Montgomery and Chris Johann bumpin' the room with funky house tunes. SO

931 Spring Garden St., 215-769-2031, www.siamlotuscuisine.com

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Best Nerd-Out Cafe

Fire up your laptop and get that sweet tooth ready: Last Drop is the best cafe to get your nerd on. It offers affordable wireless Internet provided by AirRover and decadent cakes shipped all the way from Reading. Is there a better place in town to eat chocolate truffle cheesecake, sip fresh coffee and piss around on Myspace? JS

1300 Pine St., 215-893-9262

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Best Reason to Learn More About Wines

Adding color and flavor to Philly's ever expanding neighborhood restaurant scene are the wave of storefront BYOBs offering everything from Moroccan to Laotian to Mediterranean bistro fare. Reasonably priced alternatives to the city's more "corporate" restaurants, they offer the best excuse to discover the difference between a riesling and a chardonnay, a cabernet and a chianti, all for about what it would cost for a martini and a dainty appetizer at one of those velvet-rope places. AS

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Best Pit Stop on South Street

Traveling down South Street and need a break? Head for the 10th Street Whole Foods. Park for free in the garage, enter through the garden area and begin by nibbling on an organic appetizer from the breads section. Then it's straight back to prepared foods, where a white paper cup awaits with a creative salad. Veer left — pause, if you'd like, to take a sip from the water fountain and visit the clean, private bathrooms — and into the aisles in search of chips or a special demonstration stand. Finally, swing back around to the dessert samples. Oops — you've completely bypassed the checkout line. Well, you would buy something, but you're just not hungry anymore. Maybe hungry enough for one more pumpkin pie sample. There. Now you're not hungry anymore. DT

929 South St., 215-733-9788

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Best Spot to Get Caffeinated With Motorcycle Enthusiasts

Forget about the fine and fairly priced coffee, the delectable Le Bec Fin desserts and the Georgian revival decor. The biggest and most curious draw to the new Empyrean Coffee is the Rittenhouse eatery's motorcycle motif. Local architect Vernon Lei, an avid biker and owner/designer of Empyrean, juxtaposes the 1897 mansion's existing antiquated structures with helmets, scratched panels and chrome adorning the walls. One of Lei's four motorcycles is even mounted in the center of the front room. Show up on a weekend and you're bound to find a row of other bikes parked out front with their owners lounging inside, sipping java and kicking back. JV

1921 Walnut St., 215-557-9322

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fancy Fruit? The decadent fruit salad at Café Sud (see p. 36) may make you wonder if you ordered from the dessert menu. Photo By: Michael T. Regan

Craziest Concoction Masquerading as a Fruit Salad

Fruit salad at Café Sud. Avocado? Chocolate sauce? Grenadine? Only a patisserier would have the vision to take a virtuous bowl of vitamins and transform it into pure decadence. If you're wondering why the Moroccan-inspired brunch at Café Sud has been hyped to Morning Glory proportions (other than the widely held notion that brunch is only good if you have to wait for it), this shocking creation just may answer your question. EL

801 E. Passyunk Ave., 215-592-0499

 

 

 

 

 

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Best Handmade Mozzarella Balls

Clerks at Talluto's Authentic Italian Food make the cheese fresh every day and tie long strips of it into small knots. They're basted in a rich marinade of olive oil and Italian spices and sell for $7.49 a pound. Be warned! With a loaf of crusty bread and slices of ripe tomato, you could eat yourself into a coma. AW

Talluto's Authentic Italian Food, 944 S. Ninth St., 215-627-4967

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Place Where the Old Monte Carlo Living Room Crowd Fled to After the Place Started Spinning Hip-hop

After years of hanging in the swanky South Street club, much of the stylish Monte Carlo crowd fled from the introduction of hip-hop and house to their dancefloor, and gravitated to Michael's in Bensalem. There's also a few 8th Floor vets as well, grooving to the '70s and '80s hits Frank Cerami spins on Sunday night. It's where Boomers and older Gen-Xers prove they can still get drunk, shake their booty and hook up. And that sexy middle-aged divorce lawyer you end up going home with won't have a nasty roommate. AS

3640 Street Rd., Bensalem, 215-633-7171

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Best Vegan Restaurant That Exclusively Pisses Off Vegans

The worst thing to do to a vegan: Give them food with traces of animal byproduct and call it "vegan." When word got out that Gianna's Grille used cheese with traces of casein, a milk protein, Philly vegans were livid. But don't let vegan rage steer you away from Gianna's gigantic sandwiches and delicious desserts. Their new cheese is approved by PETA and shipped all the way from the West coast. JS

507 S. Sixth St., 215-829-4448, www.giannasgrille.com

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Best Transformation of Beloved Old-School Bar

Long live Frank Clements Tavern, but if the smoky, lawyer-filled taproom had to go, we could do worse than replacement Good Dog. Middle-aged men in shirtsleeves no longer dominate the lunchtime crowd, the decorative memorabilia's been replaced by framed dog photos, the tobacco-yellowed tin ceiling's been painted candy apple red and the food's gone upscale, but the relaxed, cozy atmosphere, mahogany bar and tall-backed booths remain. Happy hour still draws a professional (albeit younger) crowd, while discounts for police, firefighters and restaurant workers keep it real. TB

224 S. 15th St., 215-985-9600, www.gooddogbar.com

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Most Annoying Rhyming Bar Name

Care for a drink? There is a new bar in town with a particularly annoying name that might be just the ticket. Rather than coming up with a real name for their upstairs bar, the Marathon Grill at 40th and Walnut opted to shorten "Marathon Grill Bar" to "Mar Bar." Despite the name, Mar Bar can be a good place to blow off some steam with two happy hours per day and DJs spinning throughout the week. The catch: you have to be able to stomach the idea of saying "Hey, want to grab a drink at Mar Bar?" JR

40th and Walnut sts., 215-222-0100

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Worst Idea for a New Northern Liberties Establishment

Another coffee shop. NoLib residents apparently subsist solely on java. At least three new coffee shops have sprouted in the last year and only one new restaurant, Tabula Rasa, which also happens to offer an extensive coffee selection. The French bistro Pigalle has been closed for a while, leaving us with pub fare and pastries galore. Is anyone else sick of muffins yet? HiH

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Best. Idea. Ever.

Restaurant Week. The concept of opening the city's ritziest restaurants to average folk seems like the kind of populist idea that should have been born in Philadelphia — never mind that it was actually borrowed from New York. Three courses for $30 at ¡Pasion! or Brasserie Perrier is worth braving the fickle weather systems of hurricane season. We salute you, Center City District. (But next year, can we maybe move it to October?) EL

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VEGETABLES ARE THE NEW MEAT

Best Bellybuster

Everything you need to know about

Fatou & Fama's best dish is in its name: peanut butter vegetables. It looks simple enough: a few carrots, a chunk of yam, a celery slice or two. Not so daunting, right? But the rich peanut stew is too filling for comfort, yet too tasty to resist. MJF

4002 Chestnut St., 215-386-0700

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Most Addictive Tofu Hoagie

Its scent will make your mouth water in an embarrassing way. You'll think about it when it's not around. Though you've long since moved to another part of town, you'll drive to West Philly for no other reason than to eat one of Fuwah Mini Market's $3 tofu hoagies. Is it in the cilantro? The carrots? The juxtaposition of a slightly toasted roll and a dozen squishy-but-not-too-squishy pieces of salted tofu? Don't say you weren't warned. TF

810 S. 47th St., 215-729-2993

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Hippest Fast Food

Maoz is the thinking person's fast-food joint, only there's nothing to think about. From lunch to late-night snack, it's all about fresh falafel. For under three bucks, you can get your pita stuffed. The tiny shop is almost always crowded with cuties, but the bare-bones menu keeps the line moving along. It's fast, cheap and under control. MJF

248 South St., 215-625-3500

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MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF STARR

Most Ubiquitous Expansion

We've got to hand it to him. When his people announced that this was the year Stephen Starr would open six new restaurants, we weren't alone in thinking, "How?" As plans progressed, it became clear that not only would he beef up his Philly holdings (with the reopened Striped Bass, Continental Mid-town, Washington Square and Barclay Prime steakhouse) but would make the risky leap into the New York shark-pool (with Buddakan and Morimoto locations). His actions call his competitors slackers. What we'd like to see next year: following the lead of Starr-struck Alfred Portale and Marcus Samuelsson, some Big Apple chefs to take the next step by moving here. JF

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The Only Cheesesteak I Will Ever Eat

Being neither a cheesesteak-er nor a bread-eater (Atkins, you know), the hype surrounding Stephen Starr's Barclay Prime Chef Todd Miller's $100 Cheesesteak — sliced Kobe beef, Taleggio cheese, shaved truffles, caramelized onions, sauteed foie gras and heirloom tomatoes on brioche stroked with homemade truffle butter — seemed ridiculous. Then I tasted it, with a split of champagne. Mouth-melting. That said, for $14, you can try the Kobe Sliders, Miller's take on the White Castle burger. ADA

Barclay Prime, 237 S. 18th St. 215-732-7560

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Worst Novelty Menu Item

I love lobster, and trust me, I really love corn dogs. And while I am all for the idea of pushing the boundaries of what can be classified as so-called "fancy food," Washington Square's Lobster and Scallop Corndog just has disaster written all over it. Taking a luxury ingredient such as lobster and molding it into something that has been commonly associated with "lips and assholes" spells FUBAR for me. Graciously, the item has since been stricken from the menu. RW

210 W. Washington Square, 215-592-7787

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Hot Dish: "Cherry Blossom," a server at Jones, proves it's easy to fall in love at the Stephen Starr eatery. Photo By: Michael T. Regan

Best Restaurant To Develop A Crush On Your Waitress

The cuisine at Jones tastes better because it is served by the dreamiest waitresses in Philadelphia. They have excellent hair, modestly applied makeup, cute sneakers, and alluring demeanors. What's better than service with a smile? Service that makes the heart go "pitter-patter." Le sigh. JS

700 Chestnut St., 215-223-5663

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Creepiest Design Innovation

Who designed the bathrooms at The Continental Mid-town — Chuck Berry? Slug down a gimlet in the retro-futurist bar, but keep your wits when you hit the head; some genius thought one-way mirrors in the bathroom would be just the thing to keep customers entertained. That is, if you consider watching dudes wash their pits unaware they're on display entertaining. If you like voyeurism with your Ahi tuna, knock yourself out, but this might be the best sign yet that Stephen Starr needs a nice, long nap. SA

1801 Chestnut St., 215-567-1800

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PORK: A LOVE STORY

Photo By: Michael T. Regan

Most Enticing Crispy Pigs' Feet

It may appear to be a regular ol' French bistro-style BYOB. However, Pif does not offer the traditional fare, instead daring you to indulge in an exotic and frequently changing menu. If you have a taste for pork, the crispy pigs' feet (pictured) might be to your liking. Order these with a side of roasted bone marrow for the full experience. JR

1009 S. Eighth St., 215-625-2923

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Best Pork Chop

La Boheme, a little French-style BYOB tucked away at 11th near Locust, has plenty of delectable items, though none that captivated this writer quite like the pork chop he was served earlier this year. Every last bit of meat was impossibly tender and flavorful. It simply behooves the diner to finally grasp the bone in his bare hands and suck down every last bit, even as his girlfriend cringes in ultimate embarrassment. MP

246 S. 11th St., 215-351-9901