Blistered in the Sun

Unwrapping the Summer Package Tour

by Jesse Delaney

"Up early in the morning, dressed in black," the opening of Ice Cube's eulogy to his dead homiez, could just as accurately describe the heavy-metal breakfast club stomping toward Ozzfest 2004.

Headbanging officially began at the unholy hour of 9 a.m. on the fenced-in second stage erected in the Tweeter parking lot. As bleary- eyed moshers stumbled over parking blocks and plunged headlong into the concrete (suddenly the meathead wearing a mouthguard looked like a genius), this was the time to hit up all the giveaways, like berry-flavored chewing tobacco, and review the day's band schedule.

Around 11 o'clock, with the crowd still filing in, DevilDriver frontman Dez Fafara became the great pit uniter, bringing the "pit over here and over there" together. The masses continued to swell for OTEP, who inspired the most eye-of-the-hurricane moshing: whipping up a fury, letting things grow eerily calm during the bridge and then breaking out even harder. Following on their heels, Lacuna Coil staged a Rockettes line of whipping hair (there's something magical about hairspray on a hot day), and the pit consumed the entire parking lot for Slipknot.

In a rare act of concern for concertgoers (perhaps necessitated by a dearth of water fountains in the concrete Sahara), YJ Stinger provided complimentary "extreme" energy-drink samples to the moshing masses. The Stinger girls were not happy. Their spokesmodel roles required them to stand in the sun and pour can after can of the syrupy stuff into tiny Dixie cups. This was a tough freebie to swallow (only the Enraged Raspberry wasn't awful), and had me rethinking the credo "If it's free, it's for me." Concertgoers more interested in fighting each other than dehydration still had beer to whet their whistles.

Those suffering from whiplash (or YJ Stinger stomachaches) and seeking a respite from the headbanging could take their siestas in the Ozzfest Village of the Damned and play the "Kick Me in the F@#king Head, Bitch" game. For $5, fans could bend it like Beckham and launch soccer balls at a carny's noggin. For $250, there was the "Party Like a Rock Star" experience with VIP access and an Ozzfest escort "to help you rock harder than you have ever rocked before." This explains why the port-o-potties were a-rockin'.

Without a Papa Roach marring the bill, this was start-to-finish the most consistently heavy Ozzfest to date; yet as hard as the other bands were, Slayer took it to an entirely different level. Unmatched for intensity, Slayer hit the stage and went about the business of showing why they are gods of thrash metal, tearing through "Mandatory Suicide" and "Dead Skin Mask" and closing with "Raining Blood." It was odd that there was no pit action to speak of accompanying the band's set. Perhaps Slayer fans were congregating at the barbecue stand, mistaking its smoke for the fires of hell.

"It's Thursday in Jersey and the Priest is back!" The reunited Judas Priest was a crowd pleaser. Before "Living After Midnight," birthday-boy Rob Halford announced, "Jersey, this is your song. Sing it!" Jersey obliged. In the fine tradition of British musical theater, Halford showed he knows how to make an entrance, be it through the pupil of the "Electric Eye" scrim, through a lift in the floor or riding a motorcycle onstage to a standing ovation for "Hell Bent for Leather." Even if the second encore — "You've Got Another Thing Comin'" — was premeditated, Priest made it feel spontaneous. If the Miracle Man can get Judas Priest back together, is it too much to hope for a Danzig-led Misfits reunion at Ozzfest 2005?

Prior to Black Sabbath taking the stage, a special announcement was made on Ozzy's behalf: The (other) British were not coming. The Ozzman had cometh down with bronchitis (he sounded hoarse earlier when he made an appearance on the second stage). Then, the British were coming (back): Rob Halford double shifted and stepped in for the ailing madman.

Halford went from firing the crowd up with Priest to damage control with Sabbath — pacifying rabid, drunk metal fans. For all the booing, there was little danger of a riot; this crowd was, after all, too docile to start a decent pit for Slayer. To his credit, Halford performed admirably (he had some experience, filling in for Dio with Sabbath in 1992) and he muffed the lyrics to "Paranoid" on the teleprompters just like Ozzy. If you're throwing a Black Sabbath karaoke party, invite Rob Halford. His humble thank-yous were quite a departure from Ozzy's usual threat/decree: "I will rock no more forever — unless you go fuckin' crazy!"

And Bill Ward, you had a shirt on when you came in here.