June 17-24, 2004

the bell curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Police will now impound the cars of people suspected of soliciting prostitutes. Thanks, Mayor Street, for pimpin' my ride.
Plus 1

City worker finds undetonated pipe bomb in Frankford when he runs over it with a lawnmower. "Damn," he says, "I was this close to winning America's Funniest Home Videos."
Minus 4

Jim Thome hits his 400th home run.
Plus 400

City Council revamps its voting schedule so that if Mayor Street vetoes the budget the city will be in a financial crisis. Mayor retaliates with an official order of "no movesies" on the schedule, to which council responds that they had already called movesies, and therefore it was too late.
Minus 8

Study shows Philly is not experiencing a brain drain. It was just a really severe case of swimmer's ear.
Plus 3

City's students are scoring better in standardized tests than they did last year. Maybe meeting the Real World kids set them straight.
Plus 4

The city's tourism board is trying to market Philadelphia as pet-friendly. So long as your pet can win the Triple Crown. Fuckin' choker.
Plus 1

Stephen Starr tells Daily News the Parkway could use some cafes. Neil Stein says the Parkway could use some more comfortable benches.
Even

Police say robbers in Northeast Philly are targeting elderly. Of course, the eyewitnesses aren't much help.
Minus 7

Total pluses: 409
Total minuses: 19
This week's total: 390
Last week's total: -27