icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

With talk of America’s biggest cable company, li’l old Comcast, looking to buy out Disney, I began to think of the what-ifs. What if: the hunt for the stolen Phillie Phanatic head turns urgent as DisCom focuses on its first animated feature; Hope Cohen is the new Lizzie McGuire; there are streams of gossip about Mary Poppins giving blowjobs at Bar Noir while Sneezy lurks about; Michael Eisner is forced to listen to my cable bill complaints; plans are drawn for Euro-Roberts, a place with very slow, gray rides; CN8 suddenly doesn’t seem so stupid now that Lou Tilley dresses up as Goofy; Michele Malin Seidman poses as Snow White while the Fretz Kitchen cooks are replaced by the Seven Dwarves; Mayor John Street gets a new theme song -- "Whistle While You’re Tapped"; Dan Gross reports on what Dumbo is eating at Continental 2; my wish comes true: A.D. -- "The Snow Queen"?Ö Since South Street’s not allowed to have a friggin’ Mardi Gras due to drunken suburbanites, the block’ll host the "LOVE Carnival Masquerade," Feb. 22, where you and your kids can be gay for a day with Marion Leary and Amanda Leahy’s G-Room at Jon’s Bar, Peekaboo Revue at Abilene, Passional at Copabanana and "Fast Cheap & Out of Control" at Fluid. Also Gras-ing: Emerald City, Feb. 20, for the sixth "Anything for Beads" Mardi party, and YPE and Paperstreet for Feb. 21’s Gras/preview opening for Fiso (15th and South). P-Street also hosts Feb. 20’s redo of Top Dog in South Jersey as Loft Bar, a decadent lounge with a VIP bed.Ö If you see Sean Adamz’s Psy-Ops at the Fire Feb. 21, yell. He’s taping their live EP and DVD there.Ö This week is quickly becoming Alan Mann Week. There are two tributes to the late Mann in the works: Janet Bressler’s Feb. 28 at Tokio, which involves Ray Koob, John Torres and Matt Sevier (

info@janetbressler.com), and an evening at Bar Noir, where ex-Clutch Cargo-ite/documentary director George Manney noodles musically while Bressler, Jimi Mooney, Stewkey, Gary Billings (Carfax Abbey), Julia Othmer, Needles Jones, Peek-A-Boo-er Scott Johnson, Jen Hess and Chumley and Carlota's Mark Singer read Mann's lyrics, Feb. 23, 8-ish. It's the same night Noir's David Carroll hosts a post-76ers bash for wedding singer Erika Schiff, who'll croon the National Anthem that night at Wachovia. Since Sixer boss Billy King makes Bar Noir a regular haunt, let's see him drag Iverson there.… Pontiac Grille news: Jon Hampton (Troc) replaces Dave Levine as booker for the newly designed South Street spot. "No drama. Jon's just a better fit," says management.… Cream Chargers gig for their new CD release, 130 Square Feet of Noise, at The Khyber Feb. 19.… Lawyer Brad Rubens is overjoyed. Not only does one band he manages, Silvertide, have a date (finally) for their Arista CD (June 8), another he oversees, Pepper's Ghost, signed with Hybrid/Sony with production by Andy Johns (Sticky Fingers, Led Zep IV). Both bands hit the Hard Rock in Atlantic City Feb. 20, a step up from Psychedelic Furs, who played Philly's Hard Rock last week.… WHOWHATWHERE: Schoolly D stopped by "Soul Travellers" and did something he rarely does anymore: rap his "P.S.K. What Does It Mean?" and "Gucci Time," grabbing the mic from hostess/songstress Ryva. Amiri Baraka was at a rally to support TraneStop's campaign for a bigger saxophone on its John Coltrane mural. Either that, or he likes hanging at 33rd and Diamond. And surely someone wanted to slap PGN's Mark Segal when he pushed drag doyenne Brittany Lynn into the Palm to sing for top Dems Vince Fumo, Bob Brady and John Dougherty. Poor Brit. Poor Dems.… If you're not busy not caring about Cameron Diaz or her soon-to-film-in-Philly In Her Shoes, Mike Lemon is casting extras Feb. 25 and 27 for the April 6-20 shoot.… Seclusiasis Studios and Silk City host their first Laptop Battle, Feb. 25, a three-round competition for electro-heads using laptops with emcee Rob Mall, judges Sean Portnoy and Dev79, and Montreal's Black Market (boo!) versus locals like Structure, Mikronesia, Underscore and Bidi.… You killed Barry! You bastards. Mr. Barry Manilow was hospitalized in L.A. due to stress-related heart pain. Why? Because his pre-Broadway run of Harmony got scrapped due to in-fighting between Manilow and producer Mark Schwartz while they were readying for the opening at the Merriam in Philly.… Thee Minks need a drummer. Either jump on the Bonnie's Roxx Reunion site, www.bonnies.buzz.to (there are a lot of metal stick-slingers on there looking to pound), or drop a note to Liz Lixx at shutup@rcn.com. Speaking of websites, after celebrating their debut at Deco you can spy on local femmes at www.girlsofphilly.com -- $20 a month, $199 for VIP access to swing with the ladies -- for better or worse.